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You'll Laugh So Hard 3!

Updated on November 5, 2011

Jokes, Funny Pictures, Comedy, Funny Videos, Bloopers

Continuing on the great theme of fun and laughter, Part 3 of my You'll Laugh So Hard! series has plenty more hilarious side-splits, witty comedy, big laughs and humorous fun in the form of funny pictures, funny videos, bloopers, funny jokes, wacky sounds and more funny stuff . It's all right here just to put a big smile on your face, and brighten your day. Enjoy!

Beauty is nothing without BRAINS

Joke- Ducks In Heaven

Three women all die in a car crash and go to Heaven on the same day. They are waiting at the gate when St. Peter arrives and greets them,

"Welcome to Heaven, ladies. There is only one rule here in Heaven, and that is don't step on the ducks."

The women each look at each other confusingly. St. Pete opens the gate and sure enough there are thousands of tiny ducks covering the ground.

The first woman goes in and lasts a week and steps on a duck. St. Peter appears out of nowhere with the ugliest man she has ever seen and handcuffs them together. He says, "This is your consequence for stepping on a duck. You must be stuck with this man for all eternity," and disappears.

The second woman goes for a month and finally steps on a duck. The same thing happens again. St. Peter arrives with the ugliest man she has ever seen, handcuffs them together, explains what has happened and leaves.

The third woman goes on for years and years, but never steps on a duck. Suddenly, St. Peter pops up out of nowhere with the most gorgeus man she has ever seen. He handcuffs them together, and without saying a word, leaves.

The woman looks up at the man, bats her eyelashes and says, "Gee, I wonder what I did to deserve you."

He slowly looks down at her and says, "I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
___________________________

You know when you see it...

ladder of life
ladder of life

Joke- Manager's Wish

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life."

Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says,"I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of story: Always let your boss have the first say.

_______________________

made in China
made in China

Joke- One Copy

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face.

The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."

Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper.

Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."

_________________________

Short Joke


Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.

_______________________

Bad Medicine

Joke- Team Spirit

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach, "now go over there and explain it to your mother."
_________________________

Short Joke


I always hated weddings, because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next."

Funny, they stopped doing it to me, when I started doing it to them at funerals.

_____________________

Hooked on Video Games...

Joke- Saying Goodbye To Mother

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we had put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door. We didn't want the cat shut in the house, because she always tries to eat the bird.

So my wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the taxi driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.'

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid witch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked!  I hauled her fat arse downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.
_________________________________________________

Hope you enjoyed this one too. Check out You'll Laugh So Hard 4! Also, if you would like to share your favourite jokes, funny pictures, videos, comical poems, thoughts, books or websites, you can do so by way of leaving them in your comments below.

___________________________________
callmefoxxy.com, my pen is a mighty sword!


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Comments

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    • profile image

      haley 

      6 years ago

      toooo funny im in school and had a bad day this just made it 100% better

    • profile image

      MichaeL 

      6 years ago

      Stupid didn't laugh once yur gonna have to try harder than that mate I didn't even smile

    • profile image

      Christy 

      7 years ago

      Gosh, thanks for the morning laughter. I loved the pup who was given the medicine and the kid giving the commentary out on the balcony. Be back to check out more. Thanks.

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