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Zombie Apocalypse

Updated on March 4, 2022

No matter what time or where - eventually, zombies will show up. It's almost like they possess a heat seeking search engine because no matter how soft you breathe or how motionless you are - they will find you sooner or later. Attempting to 'play dead' by hiding underneath an unanimated corpse will not work due to the zombies sense of heat radiation - or can zombie simply smell fear?

50% of all humans are already infected with toxoplasmosa gondii, a parasite that makes rats feel comfortable amount cat scat. Perhaps a militarized biological weapon will be released for population control under the UN Agenda 21 for sustainable living for the survivors who had gas masks and protective clothing against bacteria, viruses, molds, fungi, and parasites.

Zombies can't swim

Seems that living in a house boat would be the safest place to sleep without troublesome zombies but make sure the water is deep enough and do not anchor in Cape Fear.

Could there even be made a zombie repellent such as DEET is used for mosquitoes? How about a perfume that is attractive to zombies? There is available a perfume called "Harvesting Zombies" which probably smells as nice as it sounds.

A zombie apocalypse is a hypothetical scenario after the coming Rapture when hostile zombies threaten those left behind on Earth

What I would do during a zombie apocalypse
What I would do during a zombie apocalypse
Zombie Apocalypse
Zombie Apocalypse
Zombie Accountant
Zombie Accountant
We're here. We're dead. Get used to it.
We're here. We're dead. Get used to it.

The New Workforce: Lobotomized Zombies

Ever since Z-Day happened or the Rapture, those left behind struggled with the new world order. At first rampant panic occurred that was fueled by the new Hollywood zombie movies where zombies are portrayed as extremely fast and strong. Others clung tight to the more comforting black and white image of a slow stumbling corpse with pieces of themselves falling off as they stagger type of zombie from yesteryear.

Although the raging zombies still wanted to tear apart alive any human they encountered, only the newly dead corpses were fully physically functional but possessed no more strength and endurance then when they were once human. By lobotomizing the zombies, they no longer present killing instincts which enabled zombies to work in dull repetitive jobs that would otherwise be too mind-numbing for living humans with souls.

Because zombies have no basic human rights, the newly enslaved workforce was a big part of the economic recovery of the US. A new border control policy to infect any illegal alien that came into the United States effectively shut down 90% of all illegal border crossings - except for the Mexican drug Cartels who used zombie runners to bring in 100 pound bales of marijuana into the USA. But these athletic zombies would still have to be accompanied by a human guide or they would just walk around aimlessly in the desert under the blazing sun until the corpses desiccated into a 'beef jerky' condition.

Amid worries about migrant zombie workers infecting the fields of produce, an all-in-one cat suit was developed that could be sprayed onto the zombie's body so that leaking fluids would not contaminate food products. Goggles are placed over the eyes before spraying. The covered mouth solved both the biting and the annoying wailing of "braaaaains" so effectively that some zombies worked as house cleaners.

There were the expected first days of chaos after the rapture but then after some time, the zombies brought unseen benefits to those left behind. The 50% reduction of humans with souls created higher wages for skilled professionals while the zombies slaved in drudgery. This brought the biggest boom in manufacturing back into the United States with a quiet non-unionized slave force that needs no health insurance.

UPDATE 11.21.2011

The audiobook called, "The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead by Max Brooks and read by Marc Cashman is highly recommended. It rates zombie outbreak into four categories. It will tell you how to read news through the eyes of an informed private person on category one outbreaks right through the intergenerational zombies - those frozen for decades and thawed out.

This audiobook also talks about how zombies are untrainable - found out by the Japanese, Chinese and Russian militaries.

Things To Do During A Zombie Outbreak - Zombie Survival

What would you do first?

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Zombies: 28 Years Later

Zombie Slave Workforce

A second generation grew up living among the walking dead. With no memory of Z-Day, the Z-generation became more politically active in campaigning for citizenship for zombies. Clashes between opposing forces of pro and anti zombists grew ever more violent across the nation over time.

Legal definitions of what is consciousness and what is a permanent vegetable state was debated in Congress and for gerrymandering the votes for next re-election time. Each state had different statutes in regards to the definition of a zombie. Political activists protested that the right to vote should be given to the zombies and ridiculed opponents that the zombies could probably vote more intelligently than the humans with souls.

A three fifths compromise was enacted into legislation that although zombies were not given the right to vote, they counted as 3/5 of a human for calculation towards the number of house of representatives each state has. Not considered a citizen nor a national, a zombie is nothing but property.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2011 ptosis


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