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Zombies are misunderstood

Updated on July 8, 2011


Zombies are often misunderstood.  Yes,  they may be trying to eat everything in sight,  but one must not forget the positive things that come out of a zombie community.  There are many bonuses that can be had by having a well contained zombie colony.  Many people have seen the multitude of zombie movies that have been coming out in the recent years and they keep making more.  People see the downside of welcoming zombies into their community and the after affects that it has to the well maintained society of today.  Is it simply that people do not wish to give up on how things are and see what kind of society can be built with zombie kind or that they would rather shun them for the walking dead that they are.  I ask you how would you feel about a zombie family being moved in next to you?  Would it be that much different than if a prison,  nuclear reactor or a methadone clinic was moved nearby?

Zombie 101

zombie society

So now your interest is peaked.  How does a zombie community differ from normal society.  Well there is never a shortage of food.  If no one is around zombies then they do not eat,  but when humans wander into a zombie community, then there is trouble,  and they usually end up eating and their community grows larger.  There is no power struggle in a zombie community.  They are all on the same level,  all are equal in a zombie society.  Ego is not involved since they are 100% animalistic and only seek to satisfy their hunger.  When they are not satisfying their hunger,  they simply wander around and mingle with the rest of the community.  Sometimes they like to discuss how their community is doing and ways of expanding or developing it.  Zombies are able to do this because they have their own communication language,  simply zombie talk.  Zombie talk is comprised of grunts and groans,  depending on what they are trying to convey.  They string grunts and groans together much like a musical symphony.  For instance a particular phrase may call for groans that are much longer than the previous phrase had. Thus they are able to communicate effectively to each other their wants and needs.  Sometimes it is as simple as 'Meat over there!' Most humans would not be able to understand that and may take it as 'I want to be your friend'.  So it can be very beneficial in being fluid with zombie talk. 

In a community comprised of zombies,  there is no crime and no law enforcement is needed.  They only have one rule that they live by: 'First come,  First serve'.   This translates into the first zombie to land a bite gets to eat his portion first.  This makes living as a zombie very easy and not complicated. 

Zombies do not need to own homes or expensive things.  Zombies do not mind if it is raining or sunny out,  so therefore they do not take the time to own a home.  They would rather like to stay mingling with their friends unless a visitor stops by.  Zombies do not drive either,  so they do not spend time in saving for expensive cars.  They do not mind what they wear.  They go for any shirt,  ironed, ripped or teared.  They do not even care what color it is or if they have one.  The same goes for pants.  Zombies are very comfortable in jeans and it allows them to exert themselves without being restrained too much.  Though,  zombies do prefer to go without shoes.  There have been a some sects of zombies that do prefer foot wear,  but for the most part zombies do not like them.  Those that make up a zombie community do not care about pretty or gaudy jewelry.  They do care if it gets in the way of a midnight snack though.  The last thing that they want is to get hung up on some pipe because of the amount of necklaces they are wearing and seeing their snack get away.  They might lose it to one of their neighbors!  Zombies do not like to wear jackets as they move slow as it is and do not want the extra weight wearing them down.  Thus that is how zombies examine clothing.

Zombies make up small communities that can grow at anytime.  They take care of themselves and do not need help from other communities.  They do not have debt or expenses that a normal community has.  They are very self contained and content with themselves.  Their decision making process is much faster than many human communities.  There is no debating,  balancing budgets or special interest groups.  There is only the hunger and nothing compares to that.  In fact they can make a decision of snacking on that visitor within seconds.  We could learn a lot from examining their society and seeing the fluidity that it is organized around.

Zombies invade Lego City

The zombie answer

This is all grand examining the zombie community,  but what does it mean for humans.  Well,  one of the problems with humans interacting with zombies is that they like to eat us.  Open boundaries are not something that zombies are able to negotiate with humans at the moment.  Any humans caught within their city limits tend to end up in a relay race.  What then?  How can we co-exist?  There are no current answers of coexisting.  Some communities have been experimenting with personal zombie shields,  but have been having trouble with the energy/heat sink problem.  The amount of energy needed is difficult to carry in portable form.  They have tried solar energy,  but during the skirmish of 2009,  scientists had vowed that it was not a solution.  At the moment there is no resolution on how to live peacefully. 

Closed boundaries is what is needed in this case.  If we had boxed them in a city that was sealed up it might help.  Then again after an earthquake and the wall came crumbling down,  then they would be out and mingling with the general public.  That would not work.  The closed boundary that I would see working currently would be having them on an island.  Everyone knows that zombies cannot swim.  Therefore,  they wouldn't be able to leave their community.  They could have a peaceful community separate from us.  They would be able to live in harmony and maybe develop some new long term goals for their society.  They could also make changes to our society.  If someone is serving 5 consecutive life prison terms,  which no one could actually live through,  why not just send em to the island.  They will be serving a longer term,  but would be able to give to zombie kind,  gain a sense of unity with their community,  and aid in the current budget for prisons.  Normally someone on that kind of term would cost in the long run over a million dollars easily.  Now they just cost a parachute and a one way plane ticket.  The zombie community could seriously impact our society for the better.  They could be used as a sort of penal colony,  but that is up to the politicians to decide whether it is right or wrong.  Another things that could be helpful is that it could also be used as a dumping ground.  Zombies are not affected by large doses of radiation,  bio-hazard waste or pollution.  They could very well store it for us and would not bother it.  We could also host some nuclear waste facilities there and hire on some of the zombie community in order to maintain it.  This country could also relocate the nuclear reactors there also.  Radiation does not bother zombies so they would be prime people to conduct maintenance close up in a nuclear reactor.  In doing so it could lead the way for mutual cooperation between humans and zombies alike.  Anything that we would not want humans to touch or get into could be dropped off on their island.  We could have multiple islands that specialize in different things.  An island full of nuclear warhead that will never be shot off by zombies,  another that is full of dangerous chemicals and so on.  Lets just hope that they do not get smarter,  but political activists do not expect them to. 

Zombies are a similar race to ours,  but are very simple people.  They have simple desires and simple needs.  They could become an asset to our civilization.  A mutual understanding could be gained,  but there needs to be an interpreter that is fluid in zombie speak.  A separate zombie community needs to be addressed and produced otherwise the unspeakable could happen.  Your everyday zombie apocalypse could occur,  but our race is way too smart for that to happen.  Just in case you should read up on how to protect yourself during a zombie attack.  One day our two species may be able to coexist,  but that is in the far future.  Still though,  I believe zombies are misunderstood and underestimated as to the value of their society and how it can aid our society as a whole.

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    • forlanda profile image

      Juancho Forlanda 6 years ago from US of A

      I like it. Very funny. Thanks!

    • wolfmonk profile image

      wolfmonk 6 years ago from Derry,NH

      Thank you very much and I am glad you enjoyed it! See there are ways to coexist LOL

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      Very entertaining and very funny. An enjoyable read. I don't think I loved the film "Shaun of the Dead", I loved it that he kept his zombie friend as a pet tied up in his garden shed! Voted up and awesome.