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Funny College Jokes

Updated on February 17, 2008

College Jokes

So, why make fun of just blondes, doctors, and lawyers? Yea, it's funny and easy, but making fun of ignorant college kids is even funnier!

Ok, so yes, I'm a college student, as are, or were, many people who may read this, but these five jokes are still pretty funny. ;-)

Expand Six Times

Mr. Smith, the biology teacher at a college university, called Jane to answer the following question, "What is the particular body part that when under the right conditions will expand up to six times its normal size? Also, what are the conditions."

Jane gasped, "Mr. Smith, That's a very inappropriate question to ask, and I can guarantee that my parents will be hearing about this when I get home!"

She sat back down in her chair, red- faced and embarrassed.

"Well, then... Sue, can you give me the answer?"

"Yes, sir. The pupil of the eye will expand in dark conditions."

"You're right. Now Jane, I have three things to say to you. First off, you've not studied the lesson. Second, you have a very dirty mind. And lastly, you are going to be disappointed one day."

A Nerd, a Nude, and a Bike

So this nerd was walking on the college campus when his friend- another nerd- rode up next to him on a new bike (a bicycle, mind you). The first nerd was surprised, and asked him where he got the nice bike.

The second nerd, then replied, "Yesterday when I was walking home, a beautiful woman rode up to me on this very bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off her clothes, and told me to take what I wanted."

Nodding in approval, the first nerd said, "You made a good choice. He clothes probably wouldn't have fit you, anyway."

True/ False Exam

A blonde student goes in to take her final exam, which she's been told consists mainly of true and false questions.

She takes her seat and stares at the paper for five minutes. Then a little light bulb went off in her head; she dug through her purse and toko out a coin. She starts tossing it on her desk and marking the answer sheet- true for heads and false for tails.

She finished the entire test in about thirty minutes, whereas the rest of the class is still working.

She starts tossing the coin, swearing to herself.

The exam's moderator, a little alarmed, and approaches her and asks what's wrong.

"Well, I finished the exam in thirty minutes, so now, I'm checking my answers."

Marijuana Castration

There's a particular college professor who was infamous off topic lectures on to his favorite subject- the evils of marijuana.

One day, he went into a spurt of horrors caused by pot, "When used regularly, marijuana can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration."

A male student interrupted the professor, "Now wait a minute, castration caused by smoking pot!?"

"Yes young man, sadly, it's true. Just imagine if your girlfriend gets the munchies."

PreMed Physics

One a professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept in regards to physics.

One of the pre-med students rudely interrupted, "What's the point in learning this stuff?"

"Wll, to help save lives," the professor responded quickly in order to continue his lecture.

Well, a few minutes later, the same student spoke again.

"So how will physics save lives?"

"Simple, it keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school."


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    • Bob Ewing profile image

      Bob Ewing 10 years ago from New Brunswick

      Made me laugh especially the last one.

    • Whitney05 profile image

      Whitney 10 years ago from Georgia

      No. unfortunately not. They're pictures from different colleges.

    • profile image

      Abhinaya 10 years ago

      It's nice to go back to those days when we enjoyed such things.Really funny ones.Are the pictures from your college?