ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Entertainment and Media»
  • Comedy

Funny College Jokes

Updated on February 17, 2008

College Jokes

So, why make fun of just blondes, doctors, and lawyers? Yea, it's funny and easy, but making fun of ignorant college kids is even funnier!

Ok, so yes, I'm a college student, as are, or were, many people who may read this, but these five jokes are still pretty funny. ;-)

Expand Six Times

Mr. Smith, the biology teacher at a college university, called Jane to answer the following question, "What is the particular body part that when under the right conditions will expand up to six times its normal size? Also, what are the conditions."

Jane gasped, "Mr. Smith, That's a very inappropriate question to ask, and I can guarantee that my parents will be hearing about this when I get home!"

She sat back down in her chair, red- faced and embarrassed.

"Well, then... Sue, can you give me the answer?"

"Yes, sir. The pupil of the eye will expand in dark conditions."

"You're right. Now Jane, I have three things to say to you. First off, you've not studied the lesson. Second, you have a very dirty mind. And lastly, you are going to be disappointed one day."

A Nerd, a Nude, and a Bike

So this nerd was walking on the college campus when his friend- another nerd- rode up next to him on a new bike (a bicycle, mind you). The first nerd was surprised, and asked him where he got the nice bike.

The second nerd, then replied, "Yesterday when I was walking home, a beautiful woman rode up to me on this very bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off her clothes, and told me to take what I wanted."

Nodding in approval, the first nerd said, "You made a good choice. He clothes probably wouldn't have fit you, anyway."

True/ False Exam

A blonde student goes in to take her final exam, which she's been told consists mainly of true and false questions.

She takes her seat and stares at the paper for five minutes. Then a little light bulb went off in her head; she dug through her purse and toko out a coin. She starts tossing it on her desk and marking the answer sheet- true for heads and false for tails.

She finished the entire test in about thirty minutes, whereas the rest of the class is still working.

She starts tossing the coin, swearing to herself.

The exam's moderator, a little alarmed, and approaches her and asks what's wrong.

"Well, I finished the exam in thirty minutes, so now, I'm checking my answers."

Marijuana Castration

There's a particular college professor who was infamous off topic lectures on to his favorite subject- the evils of marijuana.

One day, he went into a spurt of horrors caused by pot, "When used regularly, marijuana can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration."

A male student interrupted the professor, "Now wait a minute, castration caused by smoking pot!?"

"Yes young man, sadly, it's true. Just imagine if your girlfriend gets the munchies."

PreMed Physics

One a professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept in regards to physics.

One of the pre-med students rudely interrupted, "What's the point in learning this stuff?"

"Wll, to help save lives," the professor responded quickly in order to continue his lecture.

Well, a few minutes later, the same student spoke again.

"So how will physics save lives?"

"Simple, it keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school."

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Bob Ewing profile image

      Bob Ewing 10 years ago from New Brunswick

      Made me laugh especially the last one.

    • Whitney05 profile image
      Author

      Whitney 10 years ago from Georgia

      No. unfortunately not. They're pictures from different colleges.

    • profile image

      Abhinaya 10 years ago

      It's nice to go back to those days when we enjoyed such things.Really funny ones.Are the pictures from your college?

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)