Daily Weird #39 There's caffeine in my underpants!
Wacoal, an “intimate apparel” company, otherwise known as the people who make really expensive underwear, has launched the iPant; a revolutionary shape-wear that shapes your waist, butt and thighs when you wear them. I think it shapes them all into giraffes, but don’t quote me on that.
This is not a girdle. Actually, it is just like girdle, but added to the “light shaping” design are porous capsules containing caffeine, retinol, caramides, vitamin E and Aloe Vera. The caffeine is supposed to help your fat go away, the vitamin E and Aloe Vera help with smoothing your bumps, the retinol helps your butt to see better (a must for moms!), and the caramides…well, I looked those up, and the best I can tell is that they’re the flag guy in the construction crew. That or they’re donut-like capsules to go with the caffeine.
“Who needs a cup of coffee in the morning? Not you! Not if you own a pair of iPants! Just stick your underwear in your mouth and chew 50 times. You'll never again have to worry about spilling coffee on your lap again!”
I asked the people at iPant if they would use the above in their advertising. They said, “No.” I’m not sure why, though, I think it would go over well. It would certainly help with distracted driving. If you spill a cup of coffee on your lap, you’re definitely distracted. Drop the underwear out of your mouth and life goes on.
The undergarments are $60 dollars a pair. They last for approximately 100 washes. That's only 60 cents each time you wear your magic panties. If you're thrifty you can get that down to only pennies. Please don't choose to be thrifty around me.
Eventually the capsules, no matter how many friends you lose, will wear out. After that, the withdrawal your thighs go through, and how long it lasts, will be completely dependant upon whether you buy another pair of underwear, or start finding a way to bathe in coffee. This could be bad. People may have to make twice as many pots of coffee. One pot for the mugs, one for the assets.
Here are some links that tell you pretty much the same thing I just told you-but they leave out the part about the giraffe.
- And now its iPant the revolutionary shapewear |
Wacoal has launched the iPant -- new shapewear that works with your body to visually reduce the appearance of cellulite from your waist and thighs as you move. - Wacoal Introduces iPant, the Revolutionary Shapewear to Reduce Cellulite
Today Wacoal launches the revolutionary iPant, which is the first shapewear... - Meet the iPant: Here to Fight Cellulite For You? - MyDaily
New for 2011, it just be might the perfect invention: A caffeine fix that simultaneously fights cellulite. That is, if you're in the market for - Meet the iPant: Here to Fight Cellulite For You? - MyDaily
New for 2011, it just be might the perfect invention: A caffeine fix that simultaneously fights cellulite. That is, if you're in the market for - Wacoal Introduces iPant, the Revolutionary Shapewear to Reduce Cellulite
Today Wacoal launches the revolutionary iPant, which is the first shapewear... - And now its iPant the revolutionary shapewear |
Wacoal has launched the iPant -- new shapewear that works with your body to visually reduce the appearance of cellulite from your waist and thighs as you move.
