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What Should You Say If You Fart On A Date?

Updated on September 4, 2011
Fart Alert
Fart Alert

The automatic thing to say is “Excuse me” but will that admission of guilt ruin your date?

We’ve all been there, a loud loss of sudden air from the back end area and the guilt overrides all the good times you’ve had so far.

Many dates have been ruined with those simple two words “Excuse me” and I do admit for saying that on occasions (those dates were never repeated, my apologies still to those girls).

Now, time has made me wiser and I will not repeat the mistakes of my youth.

Aim the blame away when there’s that sound that startles so well.

“The dog did it!” is a great exclamation of aiming the attention away from yourself.

Also good for blaming is:

A squeaky chair leg;

A baby;

Other pets;

Passing truck;

Airplane or helicopter;

Children’s toy;

Passing pedestrian;

Squeaky floorboards;

And, of course, someone else.

You can rarely just ignore the fart, but if there is nothing and no one to blame close by, try staying quiet, you just might get away with not saying anything at all.

Always be aware of your surroundings and be ready to blame whatever and whoever else is around, if you release a sudden shocking passage of air, so that your date doesn’t get the wrong idea about you.


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      Some Guy 6 years ago

      If a girl don't want to date you after you farted, then she don't like you anyway.