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Paraprosdokian Sentences - The best kind of humor

Updated on September 9, 2014

I can't claim these paraprosdokian sentences

"She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon""

This quote, from Groucho Marx, was my first exposure to paraprosdokian sentences. Not that I hadn't heard them but that there was actually a name for the sentences or phrases. Paraprosdokian sentences are when the end of the sentences causes one to rethink the first part of the sentence. It can be more than one sentence but the point is the ending is not expected.

With that in mind, I went looking for more.

Clicking on the link below will pronounce the word for you. I have found no help in learning how to spell it other than to suggest that you write it ten times. That's what we do with our grandson and his spelling words. Although I have written it here more than 10 times, it was a cut and paste so I still can't spell it.

Paraprosdokian sentences

This list is from Grammerbook.com. You'll need to check out the link to read the rest but here are my 10 favorites.

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

5. Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

6. I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.

7. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

8. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

9. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

10. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

— Bob Monkhouse

Groucho Marx

The King of Paraprosdokian sentences

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx was born October 2, 1890. He was a comedian and known for his quick wit and one-liners. He made 13 films with his siblings. He also starred in two radio and television game shows, You Bet Your Life (where my father was a contestant) and Tell it to Groucho. He was instantly recognizable with his glasses, cigars and greasepaint mustache and eyebrows. He passed away on August 19, 1977.

Some of my favorite Groucho Paraprosdokian sentences are:

She got her good looks from her father; he's a plastic surgeon

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Humor is reason gone mad.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Learn more about Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx - You Bet Your Life
Groucho Marx - You Bet Your Life

My father was a contestant on this show in the 1950's. You bet your life was funny then and it still is today.

 

Little bit of Grocho Marx

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Winston Churchill

Another cigar smoker with a talent for Paraprosdokian sentences

One of the greatest statesman of all time, Winston Churchill was also a master at paraprosdokian sentences.

"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing - after they have tried everything else."

"A modest man, who has much to be modest about."

"There but for the grace of God - goes God."

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

— Winston Churchill

Learn more about Winston Churchill

The Wit & Wisdom of Winston Churchill
The Wit & Wisdom of Winston Churchill

This book comes with a warning. If you are politically correct, it's not for you. Winston Churchill was a force to be reckoned with. However, he was an extremely witty man and that humor is shared here.

 

Winston Churchill as Prime Minister

The Second World War
The Second World War

Winston Churchill was in the prime position to fully explain and educate about the Second World War. Those who are interested in the war should definitely read these books. Included are some of the original documents that Churchill had access to.

 

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Take my wife-please

Henny Youngman

Henny Youngman was also a master at Paraprosdokian sentences. His "Take my wife - Please" is probably the best known but there are so many more. He was born in Britain on March 16, 1906. He passed away on February 24, 1998. He is known for his comedy routine that included a violin and a series of one-liners. Here are just a few.

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."

More about Henny Youngman

Take My Life, Please!
Take My Life, Please!

The book written by Henny Youngman describes his life and his rise to success.

 

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

— Henny Youngman

LOL - Henny Youngman video

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.

— Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck - Always a favorite

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Published in 1985, it is by far my favorite of all her books. That's saying a lot because I have them all and reread them when I have time. Erma Bombeck was all about family.

 

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will

The Hallmark website is below for all the Maxine cartoons. Of all the lines that they carry, this is absolutely my favorite.

Reader Feedback

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    • Virginia Allain profile image

      Virginia Allain 6 years ago from Central Florida

      Well, I never knew what to call them, but I love this kind of humor. Fun!

    • puzzlerpaige profile image

      puzzlerpaige 6 years ago

      This is wonderful! Just like Vallain said, this is my kinda humor. LOVE IT!!!! I just stole one of these for my Facebook post. I'm bookmarking this page. Thank you for all of these. I've been laughing out loud. Groucho Marx is a genius.

    • profile image

      happynutritionist 6 years ago

      I still can't say...or spell paraproskokea...ian, but it was loads of fun reading through these phrases and about their origins.

    • Kailua-KonaGirl profile image

      June Parker 6 years ago from New York

      What a fun lens! My husband came over to read some of them too after hearing me laughing out loud.

    • Board-Game-Brooke profile image

      C A Chancellor 6 years ago from US/TN

      An extra blessing to tide you into January... blessed by a SquidAngel! :-)

    • hotbrain profile image

      hotbrain 6 years ago from Tacoma, WA

      Thanks for the new big word - paraprosdokian! It's not every day I learn a word like that :) SquidAngel blessed :)

    • sheriangell profile image

      sheriangell 6 years ago

      New word - and what a mouthful! I'm still laughing at the humor here.

    • profile image

      GrowWear 6 years ago

      Did not know they have a name. And a mile-long one at that. :D

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 6 years ago from New York City

      Great lens. The best funny one I've read. I love all these guys. Thanks.

    • BrickHouseFabrics profile image

      BrickHouseFabrics 6 years ago

      Super! I have never heard the term before!

    • mariaamoroso profile image

      irenemaria 6 years ago from Sweden

      Such a smily lens! I love many of those quotes. Thanks for making me smile!

    • TeacherSerenia profile image

      TeacherSerenia 6 years ago

      I can't believe that I am still learning something new about my native language, despite speaking it fluently for over 40 years. Thank you for a very interesting lens.

    • BelindaBlevins profile image

      BelindaBlevins 6 years ago

      That's a cute lens, its quite funny

    • Amy Fricano profile image

      Amy Fricano 6 years ago from WNY

      Great work. Very witty. No, "control panels" are not just in panty hose any more; dashboards should be used and not seen.

    • CozyKitty profile image

      CozyKitty 6 years ago

      What a gem this is - so glad i found it!

      ;-))

    • GonnaFly profile image

      Jeanette 6 years ago from Australia

      Too funny! Thanks for the laugh today.

    • profile image

      Joan4 6 years ago

      Oh such fun! and a new word, too! Paraprosdokian sentences! I love em!

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 6 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      This is great and I learned a new word. Thanks for teaching me about Paraprosdokian sentences

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 6 years ago from New York City

      Good idea, adding Erma. She was a star in her day and a relief every time her columns appeared.

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Very enjoyable - Here are some Angel Blessings and I am featuring it on my lens "Quiz: Quotes by famous people.

    • AuthorNormaBudden profile image

      AuthorNormaBudden 6 years ago

      I really enjoyed your lens. I got a few laughs out of it, too. Thanks.

    • junecampbell profile image

      June Campbell 6 years ago from North Vancouver, BC, Canada

      This is very funny. I especially like the one about grandfather dying peacefully in his sleep. Great lens.

    • tandemonimom lm profile image

      tandemonimom lm 6 years ago

      What a fun lens! I did not know this word, but I know this kind of humor! Check out Dorothy Parker for this kind of wit too. For instance in a book review she wrote, "This is not a book to be taken lightly. It should be thrown with great force!"

    • rlivermore profile image

      rlivermore 6 years ago

      This was a very enjoyable lens! It's obvious you put a lot of work into this. Your hard work is appreciated.

    • Nancy Hardin profile image

      Nancy Carol Brown Hardin 6 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      Oooohhh! So glad I discovered this lens. These are all my favorite people, and I never knew what it was exactly that I found so fascinating about them, until you gave me the word! I'm squidliking, liking, sharing on facebook and favoriting this!

    • CrossCreations profile image

      Carolan Ross 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Absolutely delightful lens! Truly creative and SO well-formatted. Now you've just educated an old schoolteacher, ya know that? One who ADORES words and word plays and yet - never heard of paraprosdokian sentences - til now.

      PS...this old school teacher also has wings and oops... a bit of Squidoo angel dust spilled here.

    • mariatjader profile image

      mariatjader 6 years ago

      What lovely silliness .. blessed by a squid angel

    • sorana lm profile image

      sorana lm 6 years ago

      Brilliant and so funny. Great lens.

    • SheGetsCreative profile image

      Angela F 6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Fun lens! Never can remember how to spell it either!

    • dismantlerepair profile image

      dismantlerepair 6 years ago

      I love learning something new everyday and this lens is a perfect example of that - Thanks. *liked*

    • SandyMertens profile image

      Sandy Mertens 6 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      Thanks for the laughs.

    • patriciapeppy profile image

      patriciapeppy 6 years ago

      fun lense to read.

    • profile image

      JoshK47 6 years ago

      Liked and favorited - statements like these have always amused me quite a bit.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Really funny lens! I love studying words and the ways they can be used. It's surprising to learn that these sentences have a name. I enjoyed reading this--liked and favorited.

    • hlkljgk profile image

      hlkljgk 6 years ago from Western Mass

      thanks for the smile today :)

    • Barbie Crafts profile image

      Barbie Crafts 6 years ago from United States

      A really fun site; I needed a few laughs tonight after the day I've had caring for my elderly mother's situation. Thanks! And, by the way, this was a totally new concept/word for me.

    • gottaloveit2 profile image

      gottaloveit2 6 years ago

      What an imaginative lens! Loved learning about paraprosdokian sentences and you picked so really fun ones to read about. Love it!

    • AbsoluteJeanius1 profile image

      AbsoluteJeanius1 6 years ago

      What a wonderful lens! I wish I had known about the paraprosdokian sentences when I was teaching English - what a great lesson that would have been, and such fun to teach!

    • chezchazz profile image

      Chazz 6 years ago from New York

      Great lens. Really enjoyed it! (I'm a huge Maxine fan)

    • profile image

      GrowWear 6 years ago

      Love this humor, and now know the term for it. Fun lens. :)

    • bossypants profile image

      bossypants 6 years ago from America's Dairyland

      Delightful lens! I want to come back and read it even if you never update it (but please do!). "If you don't agree with me, you must not be listening to what I said." Paraprosdokian?

    • SheGetsCreative profile image

      Angela F 6 years ago from Seattle, WA

      Fun lens! So glad Ms Bossypants put it up on FB ;)

    • Scarlettohairy profile image

      Peggy Hazelwood 6 years ago from Desert Southwest, U.S.A.

      I love these sentences, but had no idea they had such a hard to pronounce name.

    • anansigirls lm profile image

      anansigirls lm 6 years ago

      I love it when I learn something new. Unfortunately, I simply had to give up on the word. But the lens is fantastic.

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 6 years ago from New York City

      I enjoy your lenses, this one, which I just tweeted, especially. Do you have a blog? I am going to ask people to subscribe to mine as a way of replacing the lost squidcasts. If you do have one, send me a message on the side with the address. Good luck, and keep up the great work!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      How do you say that again! Now that is a title and now I know what it means....fun!!!!

    • profile image

      reasonablerobby 6 years ago

      hilarious...Spike Milligan UK comic 'I'm not scared of dying....I just don't want to be there when it happens'

    • linhah lm profile image

      Linda Hahn 6 years ago from California

      I love this stuff!

    • gottaloveit2 profile image

      gottaloveit2 6 years ago

      what a fun lens! Loved the humor in these para...whatever phrases. Great job putting this together.

    • LizMac60 profile image

      Liz Mackay 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Never come across the name for these quirky sayings. Thanks for telling me.

    • Frischy profile image

      Frischy 6 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      I had a courses in advanced and quintessential sesquipedalianism, but I don't think we ever learned this word. Great lens!

    • sociopath-free profile image

      sociopath-free 6 years ago

      This was laugh out loud funny, and I learned a new word. Thanks!

    • TolovajWordsmith profile image

      Tolovaj Publishing House 5 years ago from Ljubljana

      I like papra... para... papapra... parpara... Well, I love it. Thank you for make me laugh!

    • hsschulte profile image

      hsschulte 5 years ago

      Oooo! I love thoughts to be pondered. This lens is chock full of them. I didn't know these sentences had a name. Great lens!

    • profile image

      Donnette Davis 5 years ago from South Africa

      I'm fascinated, I never knew the word existed.. but I do like "food for thought".. thank you for an extremely interesting lens.

    • SueM11 profile image

      Sue Mah 5 years ago from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

      First time I am hearing about this word. Thanks for a very interesting lens.

    • SciTechEditorDave profile image

      David Gardner 5 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      As a former English teacher and a writer/editor for the past 30 years, I've always enjoyed "food for thought" like this. Thanks for some good laughs! Congrats on a nice job!

    • Joyce Mann profile image

      Joyce T. Mann 5 years ago from Bucks County, Pennsylvania USA

      This was the dose of humor I so badly needed. Thank you!

    • JackNimble profile image

      JackNimble 5 years ago

      Awesome Lens! I really enjoyed reading it and reading the Paraprosdokian sentences of Groucho Marx.

    • Linda Pogue profile image

      Linda Pogue 5 years ago from Missouri

      Thank you for such an entertaining lens. I read most of it aloud to my husband, and he loved it, too!

    • LouiseKirkpatrick profile image

      LouiseKirkpatrick 5 years ago from Berkshire, United Kingdom

      I never knew this sort of thing had a name! I learnt something from this lens and had a good laugh in the process - thank you!! Blessed by this Squid Angel as part of the "Back To School Bus Trip"!

    • Beaddoodler profile image

      Jennie Hennesay 5 years ago from Lubbock TX

      I learned an new word. . .and had a wonderful, much needed laugh. Thank you!

    • Joan Haines profile image

      Joan Haines 5 years ago

      Paraprosdokian? Wow. Thanks for including a pronunciation.

    • singlemaltdram profile image

      singlemaltdram 5 years ago

      This lens is right up my alley! Classics!

    • mellex lm profile image

      mellex lm 5 years ago from Australia

      Excellent lens... I learnt something :-)

    • Heather426 profile image

      Heather Burns 5 years ago from Wexford, Ireland

      truly funny! good laughs on a Sunday morning.

    • sweetstickyrainbo profile image

      sweetstickyrainbo 5 years ago

      a bit of humor to start the day. It's a good thing.

    • sudokunut profile image

      Mark Falco 5 years ago from Reno, Nevada

      Very funny, thanks for the giggles and I learned something too.

    • cocomoonbeams profile image

      cocomoonbeams 5 years ago

      I love Maxine... I like "I'd like to help you out... which way did you come in?"

    • indigoj profile image

      Indigo Janson 5 years ago from UK

      Very entertaining. And now I know what a paraprosdokian sentence is.. though whether I can remember how to say it is another matter!

    • HeatherTodd1 profile image

      HeatherTodd1 5 years ago

      Great post...Thanks

    • JanTUB profile image

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 5 years ago from Australia

      p-a-r-p-r-od p-a-r-ar

      Who cares?

      Had a great laugh. Always liked these sentences, didn't know they had a name!

    • KimGiancaterino profile image

      KimGiancaterino 5 years ago

      Thoroughly entertaining as well as informational. I love studies of language, especially analyses of the ways it can be structured to produce humor. The Maxine cartoon is great!

    • LaraineRoses profile image

      Laraine Sims 5 years ago from Lake Country, B.C.

      This was a good lens to end my day (with laughter). Please accept this angel's blessings.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Haha, this is great! This made my day. I had no idea that there was a word for this type of joke either. Fascinating!

    • andreaberrios lm profile image

      andreaberrios lm 5 years ago

      This is a very nice and entertaining lens!!

    • BestToysReviews profile image

      BestToysReviews 5 years ago

      Paraprosdokian? That's too hard to pronounce :D

    • OldStones LM profile image

      OldStones LM 5 years ago

      Excellent, I love the Paraprosdokian sentences. They are one of my favorite bits of comedic schtick.

    • jays23 lm profile image

      jays23 lm 5 years ago

      I didn't even know such word existed. My poor limited vocabulary. I really enjoyed reading this lens. I just wanted to thank you when I first created my first lens, you took time to comment on my profile when you couldn't find a guest comment section on my lens about monster nightmares. I realized the importance of the guest comment section. Thanks so much again!

    • lesliesinclair profile image

      lesliesinclair 5 years ago

      Excellent! thanks for the introduction to the term paraprosdokian. I thought it must be some kind of joke, when I read the lens title.

    • profile image

      AnnaleeBlysse 5 years ago

      I don't recall hearing paraprosdokian as description before. This lens got me giggling this morning!

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 5 years ago

      So glad I found this lens today. We are having tornado warnings in AL and I needed something to take my mind off of the weather. :)

    • CanDoDaddy profile image

      CanDoDaddy 5 years ago

      Absolutely the best for two reasons: this lens gave me my first laugh of the day (and probably the best one) and I had no idea what that "P' word meant. Now I think I do. Thanks

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Para-what-ever! These are fun and funky! :)

    • thedailysatire profile image

      thedailysatire 5 years ago

      Great word and funny examples. I always like to be educated and entertained at the same time!

    • Banyantree LM profile image

      Banyantree LM 5 years ago

      Good Lens -- With humor and points to ponder !!!!!

    • mrducksmrnot profile image

      mrducksmrnot 5 years ago

      Love these one liner's for sure. Very well done.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 5 years ago

      Had a few laughs here. Well done, great work.

    • wolley811 profile image

      wolley811 5 years ago

      Awesome lens! :) Made me laugh all throughout the entire thing! Blessings to you!

    • wolley811 profile image

      wolley811 5 years ago

      Awesome lens! :) Made me laugh all throughout the entire thing! Blessings to you!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      You learn from your mistakes. I want to learn a lot, so....I think I'm on the right path!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Would Buddha refuse homeles people? He preached dispossession, so... What's the point?

    • profile image

      Ruthi 5 years ago

      I love paraprosdokian sentences. Thanks for letting me know exactly what it is that I love. (And yes, I did copy and paste the term,)

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 5 years ago

      i did not know about this before but now, i learned something. thank you.

    • goo2eyes lm profile image

      goo2eyes lm 5 years ago

      i did not know about this before but now, i learned something. thank you.

    • profile image

      NC Shepherd 5 years ago

      I had no idea there was a word for this, but I've always loved the one-liners!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      So, I know what these sentences are called! I enjoyed the What's My Line? video with Groucho. It's so cool that your Dad was on You Bet Your Life.

    • flycatcherrr profile image

      flycatcherrr 5 years ago

      I had no idea there was an actual name for these sentences! Absolutely delightful lens - thanks for a lot of smiles today!

    • rangiiria profile image

      rangiiria 5 years ago

      It's always good to smile. Paraprosdikian - I've learnt a new word today and its meaning

      :-} thanks.

    • hntrssthmpsn profile image

      hntrssthmpsn 5 years ago

      Love this lens! I also love Paraprosdikian Sentences, and it never even occurred to me that there might be a WORD for them!!! Awesome!

    • Holysheepskin LM profile image

      Holysheepskin LM 5 years ago

      So fun! Made me smile...thanks!

    • ViJuvenate profile image

      ViJuvenate 5 years ago

      I love it! I had no idea there was a word for that. Learned something new! (and I shared that word on Facebook) LOL

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Someday, there will be a word that came from my name!

    • iWriteaLot profile image

      iWriteaLot 5 years ago

      "Some people are like Slinky's, not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs." ROFLMBO!! Paraprosdokian??? I'm not even going to try to pronounce that one. Blessed

    • profile image

      bolillie 5 years ago

      How fun! I had no idea there was actually a name for these sentences. Loved reading this lens!!

    • CuAllaidh profile image

      Jeff Johnston 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Nice Lens :D I added you to my list of Fun with English lenses on some of my lenses.

    • Karli McClane profile image

      Psycho Free Zone 5 years ago from USA

      Thanks for the laughs! : )

    • CNelson01 profile image

      Chuck Nelson 5 years ago from California

      Loved it!

    • Valerie Bloom profile image

      Valerie Bloom 5 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Thanks for the laughs and good information.

    • profile image

      Terrie_Schultz 5 years ago

      These are hilarious!

    • Diana Wenzel profile image

      Renaissance Woman 5 years ago from Colorado

      Really had a great time here. Thanks for teaching me a new word. Always love to be surprised with something that expands my vocabulary. Have always loved Erma Bombeck and Maxine. They really know how to make us laugh.

    • writergrey profile image

      writergrey 5 years ago

      What a great Lens! I enjoyed the wit and it was wonderful to see a little of Erma Bombeck, I love her humor.

    • Gypzeerose profile image

      Rose Jones 5 years ago

      Well, I was feeling my troubles pretty bad before I read this and I do longer am! Thanks so much,bookmarked, liked, angel blessed, facebook liked and any other kind of liked I can think of - thanks so much for writing this!

    • Brandi Bush profile image

      Brandi 5 years ago from Maryland

      I have never heard of Paraprosdokian Sentences! One of the many reasons I love Squidoo...I learn something new everyday! :)

    • TTMall profile image

      TTMall 5 years ago

      funny lens! I always like reading lens like this :)

    • davenjilli lm profile image

      davenjilli lm 5 years ago

      I never knew what those types of sentences were..blessings

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thanks for the good laugh. Nothing brightens the day like a good chuckle.

    • Wayne Rasku profile image

      Wayne Rasku 5 years ago

      Well, I think I learned a new word today.. but I will wait a few minutes to see if I can remember it LOL. Great stuff!

    • Einar A profile image

      Einar A 5 years ago

      What fun! This certainly made me laugh.

    • profile image

      joe-johnso 5 years ago

      @hntrssthmpsn: this lens is complete, the editor is talentous!

    • profile image

      RStiltskin 5 years ago

      Excellent lens-

      Reminds of Woody Allen, many, many years ago explaining he was expelled from college for cheating--with the deans wife!

    • CruiseReady profile image

      CruiseReady 5 years ago from East Central Florida

      Many thanks for introducing me to the term paraprosdokian. I had never heard it before, but know now that I have long been intrigued by the paraprosdokian thought process.

    • profile image

      MaggiePowell 5 years ago

      These are fantastic... I've been a fan of these sentences and these wordsmiths for a long time without knowing the word paraprosdokian. Thanks

    • profile image

      Jolent 5 years ago

      Absolutely fantastic! I had no idea these fun sentences actually had a name. Now, I think I may be hooked.

    • Ram Ramakrishnan profile image

      Ram Ramakrishnan 5 years ago

      Know this, O worthy and diligent lensmaster;

      With accomplishment youâve earned a tryster.

      As a token of immense appreciation expressed,

      A squid angel leaves this lens heartily blessed.

      On a rendering that is sparkling in its own right,

      Propagating an appealing thought well and quite;

      If you were to notice a slender shimmering crust;

      From the angelâs wand, it is a spill of stardust.

    • tricomanagement profile image

      tricomanagement 5 years ago

      Erma and Winston - what more could one ask for - but I won't go there

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      What a great idea for a lens-what a great lens---I will show myself out

    • profile image

      soaringsis 5 years ago

      Making anyone smile is a gift.I shall return whenever I need a little help with being

      made to feel good. Love your lens.

    • randomthings lm profile image

      randomthings lm 5 years ago

      THAT was funny. THANKS! I had not heard the work paraprosdokian before, but have always enjoyed the humor.

    • profile image

      JoshK47 5 years ago

      Popping back in to bless this lens! :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thought I would stop by and see what's new here. Such a fun lens, you have a great sense of humor my dear. <3

    • Nimsrules LM profile image

      Nirmal Shah 5 years ago from India

      laughed till my ribs ached. Stupendous lens.

    • profile image

      brendajoy 5 years ago

      The whole thing is awesome! I miss Groucho, we watched him faithfully when I was a kid. I never heard of paraprosdokian sentences before. Thanks for cluing me in. It was great fun and giggles.

    • piarejuden profile image

      piarejuden 5 years ago

      What an amazing lens! You are an inspiration! These set my day on the right path,, they were hilarious!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      If I've done something that I should be sorry for, I'm willing to be forgiven.

    • profile image

      seegreen 5 years ago

      I love these. Wonderful lens!

    • profile image

      kmyangel 5 years ago

      All the paraprosdokian sentences are great ! "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." - this is my favorite one !

      Thanks for sharing ! Kisses :*

    • menskincaretips profile image

      menskincaretips 5 years ago

      Hilarious! This definitely made my day, I'll be using some of these ;) Thanks!

    • profile image

      PhloxPapyrus 5 years ago

      First sentence popped into my head:"I'm not questioning your honor,I'm denying its existence." -Tyrion Lannister

    • Normyo Yonormyo profile image

      Normyo Yonormyo 5 years ago

      Thanks for a great lens and learned a new English word, hope I can remember it.

    • profile image

      tomprat 5 years ago

      I always loved Groucho's one liners, I had no idea they had such a complex name. Thanks for the great lens

    • profile image

      SororPeregrina 4 years ago

      My own Maxine favorite: "I have a dream for all mankind: Cramps."

      Love this lens!

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 4 years ago

      What a fun and humorous lens!

    • whiteskyline lm profile image

      whiteskyline lm 4 years ago

      That was great, I love these

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Fun lens. I enjoyed reading these, and like you, didn't know there was a name for them.

    • Phoenix2361 profile image

      Phoenix2361 4 years ago

      Of course I love this lens. You have so many of my favourites here. Great job!

    • profile image

      MCat711 4 years ago

      Cool lens! As for paraprosdokian sentences, how about the classic, "I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better."

    • profile image

      SteveKaye 4 years ago

      Fantastic. Thank you for publishing this collection of laughs. You made my day.

    • profile image

      CatarinaAz 4 years ago

      Hahahaha! Good spending time here!

    • Melissa Miotke profile image

      Melissa Miotke 4 years ago from Arizona

      Very funny lens. I'd never heard of paraproskodian sentences but they are funny! Blessed:)

    • Valerie P Davis profile image

      Valerie Proctor Davis 4 years ago from Birmingham, Alabama

      I didn't realize there was a name for this! Very clever lens.

    • semperdivina lm profile image

      semperdivina lm 4 years ago

      Too funny - thanks for the laugh

    • mggxx81 profile image

      mggxx81 4 years ago

      Thanks for laugh!

    • victoriahaneveer profile image

      victoriahaneveer 4 years ago

      Love it!

    • scottemak lm profile image

      scottemak lm 4 years ago

      ahha so hilarious! awesome job! id appreciate it if you'd check some of my lenses out too!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      You've left quite an impression, I won't say what kind of impression, but an impression still.

    • SusanRDavis profile image

      Susan R. Davis 4 years ago from Vancouver

      Lots of laughter coming out on this one. I loved these, and found several I already knew. But the Winston Churchill ones were quite entertaining.

    • Jogalog profile image

      Jogalog 4 years ago

      I didn't realise these sentences had a name until now. They are definitely funny!

    • balancebydesign4u profile image

      Carol 4 years ago from Arkansas

      I never heard of this word before-paraprosdokian (did I spell it right??). This lens made me laugh out loud. My favorite-the Maxine card. Good job!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I had no idea there was a name for this. Thanks for the education.

    • profile image

      PterodactylSoup 4 years ago

      What actually got me to this page was the laugh you got out of me when I saw your name(very good) and found this Lens on your profile page. I didn't know that there was an actual phrase for this type of humor - I just call it wordplay(quote from 30rock). One of my best friends is very much like this, so much so it gets hard to have a conversation with him. One night after wordplaying(paraprosdokianing?) me for about ten minutes I got really annoyed and snapped at him "Oh shut up and pull my curtains!" to which his reply was to turn around and give my curtains a little tug and turn back around to me, I couldn't help but bend over laughing. Sorry for the long comment but really enjoyed this Lens, learned something too................Laugh and Learn!!

    • profile image

      webscribbler 4 years ago

      I think the greatest thing about this type of humor is that it is truly timeless. It will always be funny and everyone can enjoy it. The folks you discuss were truly wordsmiths and knew how to make people laugh. They didn't need insulting, vulgarities to hide behind.

      I didn't know this cleverness had a name either. I'll probably forget the name but will remember that one exists. lol

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      One of my favorites by Emo Phillips: I'll never forget my father's final words: "A Truck!"

    • meggingmad profile image

      meggingmad 3 years ago

      I never forget a face, but in your case, I`m willing to make an exception. Groucho Marx.

    • Digory LM profile image

      Digory LM 3 years ago

      Love your lens. Thanks for the laughs.

    • Susan Zutautas profile image

      Susan Zutautas 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I never new there was a name for these type of sentences before. Very funny hub and just what I needed to start my day out :)

    • Ann Hinds profile image
      Author

      Ann Hinds 2 years ago from So Cal

      I think they're funny too so I'm glad you enjoyed them.

    • MelRootsNWrites profile image

      Melody Lassalle 2 years ago from California

      This article has made my day, Ann! I have never heard of the term Paraprosdokian, however, I am a huge fan of Groucho Marx. His humor is clever but sort of sneaks up on you. Many of the phrases made me laugh. This is one of my favorites from Groucho: "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read".

    • Ann Hinds profile image
      Author

      Ann Hinds 2 years ago from So Cal

      I hadn't heard that one. It made me laugh too. Thanks for sharing it.

    • Iris Draak profile image

      Cristen Iris 2 years ago from Boise, Idaho

      What a fun post! My daughter and I were just discussing some of these the other day. So, so funny. My favorite is the one is your #6, "I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you." Thanks for the laughs.

    • ladyguitarpicker profile image

      stella vadakin 13 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

      I enjoyed this hub and wish you would do more. Thanks for the laugh, Stella

    • john000 profile image

      John R Wilsdon 6 months ago from Superior, Arizona

      This was a great idea for a hub, and you covered the bases well. Maybe you should write one about baseball? Plenty of humor there too. Thanks for the laughs.

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