ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

You May Be Racist If You......

Updated on July 13, 2008

The Evil Within

Don't worry if you clicked here that doesn't automatically label you as a racist, but finding that you fit into some of the categories below might:

1. If you can count how many Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, White or purple friends you have.....

You are definitely a racist, anyone who takes the time to count couldn't be anything less.

2. If in conversation you feel the need to add the nationality of the person you're talking about ......

You too are racist. Why the hell else would a person feel the need to include color into conversation all the time. Interestingly enough, have you ever noticed people usually do this when they're not even talking about race at all? Prime examples include: "So the other day I was at the store and this Black person (-racist)." Don't forget one's like " So the other day I was sitting next to this Asian (-racist) ." What? Instead just tell the damn story, who cares what color the insignificant player's in your insignifcant conversation are?

3. If you glance around a room to check your surroundings before telling a joke......

Not only are you racist but the idiots who stand there and keep look out for you are too.

4. If you start jokes with things like....... "So a black guy, a Jew and an Israeli walk into a bar..." Do I have to explain this one?

5. If you say things to complete strangers like, "Can I touch your hair".......

Although they may sigh and regretably say yes, please note that deep down inside they want to grab you by your hair and slap you for publicly humiliating them. Next time go to a petting zoo that's where animals are kept.

6. If you see a black man walking with a white woman or any interracial couple whatsoever and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up........

Believe it or not you too are a racist. Isn't love grand?

7. If at restaurants you purposely try to find seating near people of your same complexion......

You are not only a racist but a highly paranoid one at that!

8. If your reaction to the O.J. Simpson trial was pure excitement, not because you felt the decision was fair and just, but because you thought a black man had finally got off for doing what you felt, so many white people have done for 1,000's of years to blacks.........

You know damn well that's racist.

My all time favorite's have to be.......

9. If you tend to add erroneous points to conversations like; " They talk black" or " They act white" ...............

You my friend are the most clueless one of all, because you cannot act a color!

10. If you've ever heard two black people conversing and someone uses the N word, or the "magic word" as I like to call it, and you thought to yourself, "hey I think I'll say that too"..........

I won't call you a racist, more a person with poor judgment.

11. If you walk up to a black person and say things like "hey what's up dog." You may watch gangster movies but please do not imitate the actors, I repeat ACTORS you see on t.v. If you see a Hispanic person do not convince yourself that by watching Univision, or Mi Vida Loca last night you suddenly know how to speak Spanish....

You don't! So please accept this fact and also accept that everything you see on t.v. isn't real. I know this is a difficult concept to grasp.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • blue.lotus profile image


      9 years ago from Cali

      Great article. Glad there are people on hubpages writing about controversial topics instead on only things like "How to Crochet".

      This was my favorite line "You know damn well that's racist." and a close second is "You my friend are the most clueless one of all, because you cannot act a color!"

      I'd love to see some more funny stuff from you!

    • jcorkern profile image


      10 years ago from Wonderland

      We just agree to disagree, we have a difference of opinion. That is no reason for me to stop reading your work. This is my whole point, everyone is different, and it is always a good thing to learn, even if we disagree.

      I will be stopping in on a regular basis.



    • PEN-n-PAD profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Washington

      Sigh. I do believe that you and I could go round, and round, and round, and round and for this reason, I concede.  I ask only that you continue to read my work in the future, as I will continue to read yours. If for some reason you won't be stopping by again, I do understand.

      Thank you.

    • jcorkern profile image


      10 years ago from Wonderland

      I agree that diet may have a greater effect on body odor than genetics overall, and the point is well taken, and that is why I mentioned it.

       As far as "reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that blacks" This is a bunch of media hogwash. Do a little history and you will learn that white Irish slaves in this country were of less value than the "Blacks" as you posted.

      At the port of New Orleans , they would use the Irish to get into the holds of the incoming ships to unload cargo because they were cheap and expendable slaves while the "Black" as you called them, slaves were protected and were given safer jobs because they cost more and were more valuable.

      Study history a little better. This not only happened in New Orleans, but also New York and other ports all around the country in the slavery times of the US. But you do not hear the Irish crying. It is in the past.

      I am a people person, I love people, always have and always will. I have a true love for cultures and the fabulous human spirit to finaly stomp out slavey physicaly in the US. But if you really want to get to the meat of the subject, I would be willing to bet that you have products in your home right now that were produced in sweat shops somewhere in the world right now! So, do you really want to talk about this any further since you support the slave operations everytime you buy from Wal-Mart, Nike, Dell, Compact, Microsoft, Ford, Chevy,ect...  This is just a few of the US companies that condone sweat shops so they can sell you the wares at "LOW" prices.

      what about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that the Irish went through? What about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that the chinese are currently going through, and many other nations that you support slavery in by buying from overseas everytime you support a Big Box store? Also, if there is no "Race" then science as a whole is wrong.

      People who live in glass houses should not attempt to throw stones, no matter how nice and political the response.

    • PEN-n-PAD profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Washington

      I have taken a few days to regroup and prepare the proper response for you jcorkern, and I've yet to find the words. Which is great because this leads me to think that I just need to write another hub about this issue.

      But I have to point out, that your comments about body odor are a little off. I won't go into direct detail its just that body odor IS more diet, than national origin.  There is a great book about skin, titled in the same name by Nina G. Jablonski.  I recommend it for you to first allow you to gain knowledge in the complete understanding of skin; anatomy, in terms of hair, nails, secretions and evaporations.  This will give you a good start.

      There is another book that I want to make you aware of and I cannot find her or remember her name.  She writes about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that blacks have been forced to endure over the years.  From Jim Crow laws to today.  I will hunt her down and get that information to you.  I will say though that she talks in great depth regarding the emotions felt by any person who's had to be made a mockery of simply because of your (and others) selfish need to appease some sort of curiosity within.

      And to defend my work I don't believe that I ever mention 'race' at all.  There is only one race and that is the human race, whereas you make reference to it numerous times.

      Your point has been well received and I greatly appreciate all of your comments.

    • PEN-n-PAD profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Washington

      Thanks for the feedback.

    • jcorkern profile image


      10 years ago from Wonderland

      5. If you say things to complete strangers like, "Can I touch your hair".......


      I disagree with this one. The reason I do is because I am just a curious person, If I was to do something like this, I would probably be sitting next to them and I would be interested in their culture,customs, their cusine and all about them.

      Some people are curious.period! I know that there are differences between the races in a physical nature, mental attitudes (not concerning race). Outright outlooks on life because of social conformity from within their cultures and customs.

      There are even general different body odors between races because of genetic makeup and diets.

      There may be a few that are racist, but concerning myself, it would be a genuine interest in everything about them and their life, and how they live it,including religion, politics and anything else concerning them.

      I have traveled the world, seen many cultures, many body shapes, many textures of both skin and hair. It is a good thing to get close to destroy the fear of the unknown about different people and cultures, and this would eliminate much of racism.

      We will never be able to completely eliminate it, but mixing and learning stops the fear. And fear of a different culture and "Change" in general tends to scare the human in general.

      Getting past the misunderstandings and cultural differences is a sure way to bring people together.

      Hope you understand my point of view.

      BTW, People of Asian decent generaly have the softest and finest hair that I have ever been in contact with. And no, I am not Asian

    • talented_ink profile image


      10 years ago from USA

      I liked this one and Jeff Foxworthy doesn't have anything on you! When I read #3, I thought of Carlos Mencia because he says the same thing and I really think that's the truth. There's not a joke in my mind that I won't crack no matter who's around.

    • raguett profile image


      10 years ago

      This is a really great hub, recism is still such a problem in this modern world, I try not to think I am a racist but in ll honesty I guess at some point in my life a wrongful racial accusation or thought has gotten past my good girl gaurd, but i am only human. I try to treat everyone equal, I just hope the rest of the world would try a little harder too. See some of my hubs....Ur latest fan...R


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)