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You May Be Racist If You......

Updated on July 13, 2008

The Evil Within

Don't worry if you clicked here that doesn't automatically label you as a racist, but finding that you fit into some of the categories below might:

1. If you can count how many Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian, White or purple friends you have.....

You are definitely a racist, anyone who takes the time to count couldn't be anything less.

2. If in conversation you feel the need to add the nationality of the person you're talking about ......

You too are racist. Why the hell else would a person feel the need to include color into conversation all the time. Interestingly enough, have you ever noticed people usually do this when they're not even talking about race at all? Prime examples include: "So the other day I was at the store and this Black person (-racist)." Don't forget one's like " So the other day I was sitting next to this Asian (-racist) ." What? Instead just tell the damn story, who cares what color the insignificant player's in your insignifcant conversation are?

3. If you glance around a room to check your surroundings before telling a joke......

Not only are you racist but the idiots who stand there and keep look out for you are too.

4. If you start jokes with things like....... "So a black guy, a Jew and an Israeli walk into a bar..." Do I have to explain this one?

5. If you say things to complete strangers like, "Can I touch your hair".......

Although they may sigh and regretably say yes, please note that deep down inside they want to grab you by your hair and slap you for publicly humiliating them. Next time go to a petting zoo that's where animals are kept.

6. If you see a black man walking with a white woman or any interracial couple whatsoever and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up........

Believe it or not you too are a racist. Isn't love grand?

7. If at restaurants you purposely try to find seating near people of your same complexion......

You are not only a racist but a highly paranoid one at that!

8. If your reaction to the O.J. Simpson trial was pure excitement, not because you felt the decision was fair and just, but because you thought a black man had finally got off for doing what you felt, so many white people have done for 1,000's of years to blacks.........

You know damn well that's racist.

My all time favorite's have to be.......

9. If you tend to add erroneous points to conversations like; " They talk black" or " They act white" ...............

You my friend are the most clueless one of all, because you cannot act a color!

10. If you've ever heard two black people conversing and someone uses the N word, or the "magic word" as I like to call it, and you thought to yourself, "hey I think I'll say that too"..........

I won't call you a racist, more a person with poor judgment.

11. If you walk up to a black person and say things like "hey what's up dog." You may watch gangster movies but please do not imitate the actors, I repeat ACTORS you see on t.v. If you see a Hispanic person do not convince yourself that by watching Univision, or Mi Vida Loca last night you suddenly know how to speak Spanish....

You don't! So please accept this fact and also accept that everything you see on t.v. isn't real. I know this is a difficult concept to grasp.


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    • blue.lotus profile image

      blue.lotus 9 years ago from Cali

      Great article. Glad there are people on hubpages writing about controversial topics instead on only things like "How to Crochet".

      This was my favorite line "You know damn well that's racist." and a close second is "You my friend are the most clueless one of all, because you cannot act a color!"

      I'd love to see some more funny stuff from you!

    • jcorkern profile image

      jcorkern 9 years ago from Wonderland

      We just agree to disagree, we have a difference of opinion. That is no reason for me to stop reading your work. This is my whole point, everyone is different, and it is always a good thing to learn, even if we disagree.

      I will be stopping in on a regular basis.



    • PEN-n-PAD profile image

      PEN-n-PAD 9 years ago from Washington

      Sigh. I do believe that you and I could go round, and round, and round, and round and for this reason, I concede.  I ask only that you continue to read my work in the future, as I will continue to read yours. If for some reason you won't be stopping by again, I do understand.

      Thank you.

    • jcorkern profile image

      jcorkern 9 years ago from Wonderland

      I agree that diet may have a greater effect on body odor than genetics overall, and the point is well taken, and that is why I mentioned it.

       As far as "reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that blacks" This is a bunch of media hogwash. Do a little history and you will learn that white Irish slaves in this country were of less value than the "Blacks" as you posted.

      At the port of New Orleans , they would use the Irish to get into the holds of the incoming ships to unload cargo because they were cheap and expendable slaves while the "Black" as you called them, slaves were protected and were given safer jobs because they cost more and were more valuable.

      Study history a little better. This not only happened in New Orleans, but also New York and other ports all around the country in the slavery times of the US. But you do not hear the Irish crying. It is in the past.

      I am a people person, I love people, always have and always will. I have a true love for cultures and the fabulous human spirit to finaly stomp out slavey physicaly in the US. But if you really want to get to the meat of the subject, I would be willing to bet that you have products in your home right now that were produced in sweat shops somewhere in the world right now! So, do you really want to talk about this any further since you support the slave operations everytime you buy from Wal-Mart, Nike, Dell, Compact, Microsoft, Ford, Chevy,ect...  This is just a few of the US companies that condone sweat shops so they can sell you the wares at "LOW" prices.

      what about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that the Irish went through? What about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that the chinese are currently going through, and many other nations that you support slavery in by buying from overseas everytime you support a Big Box store? Also, if there is no "Race" then science as a whole is wrong.

      People who live in glass houses should not attempt to throw stones, no matter how nice and political the response.

    • PEN-n-PAD profile image

      PEN-n-PAD 9 years ago from Washington

      I have taken a few days to regroup and prepare the proper response for you jcorkern, and I've yet to find the words. Which is great because this leads me to think that I just need to write another hub about this issue.

      But I have to point out, that your comments about body odor are a little off. I won't go into direct detail its just that body odor IS more diet, than national origin.  There is a great book about skin, titled in the same name by Nina G. Jablonski.  I recommend it for you to first allow you to gain knowledge in the complete understanding of skin; anatomy, in terms of hair, nails, secretions and evaporations.  This will give you a good start.

      There is another book that I want to make you aware of and I cannot find her or remember her name.  She writes about reparations and repayment for the deep humilitation that blacks have been forced to endure over the years.  From Jim Crow laws to today.  I will hunt her down and get that information to you.  I will say though that she talks in great depth regarding the emotions felt by any person who's had to be made a mockery of simply because of your (and others) selfish need to appease some sort of curiosity within.

      And to defend my work I don't believe that I ever mention 'race' at all.  There is only one race and that is the human race, whereas you make reference to it numerous times.

      Your point has been well received and I greatly appreciate all of your comments.

    • PEN-n-PAD profile image

      PEN-n-PAD 9 years ago from Washington

      Thanks for the feedback.

    • jcorkern profile image

      jcorkern 9 years ago from Wonderland

      5. If you say things to complete strangers like, "Can I touch your hair".......


      I disagree with this one. The reason I do is because I am just a curious person, If I was to do something like this, I would probably be sitting next to them and I would be interested in their culture,customs, their cusine and all about them.

      Some people are curious.period! I know that there are differences between the races in a physical nature, mental attitudes (not concerning race). Outright outlooks on life because of social conformity from within their cultures and customs.

      There are even general different body odors between races because of genetic makeup and diets.

      There may be a few that are racist, but concerning myself, it would be a genuine interest in everything about them and their life, and how they live it,including religion, politics and anything else concerning them.

      I have traveled the world, seen many cultures, many body shapes, many textures of both skin and hair. It is a good thing to get close to destroy the fear of the unknown about different people and cultures, and this would eliminate much of racism.

      We will never be able to completely eliminate it, but mixing and learning stops the fear. And fear of a different culture and "Change" in general tends to scare the human in general.

      Getting past the misunderstandings and cultural differences is a sure way to bring people together.

      Hope you understand my point of view.

      BTW, People of Asian decent generaly have the softest and finest hair that I have ever been in contact with. And no, I am not Asian

    • talented_ink profile image

      talented_ink 9 years ago from USA

      I liked this one and Jeff Foxworthy doesn't have anything on you! When I read #3, I thought of Carlos Mencia because he says the same thing and I really think that's the truth. There's not a joke in my mind that I won't crack no matter who's around.

    • raguett profile image

      raguett 9 years ago

      This is a really great hub, recism is still such a problem in this modern world, I try not to think I am a racist but in ll honesty I guess at some point in my life a wrongful racial accusation or thought has gotten past my good girl gaurd, but i am only human. I try to treat everyone equal, I just hope the rest of the world would try a little harder too. See some of my hubs....Ur latest fan...R