Should I Watch..? 'Godzilla' (1998)

Godzilla is a monster movie released in 1998 and is the first American remake of the classic 1954 Japanese film of the same name. Initially planned as the first in a trilogy, the film follows a mild-mannered biologist in New York City struggling with the authorities to contain an attack by a giant, previously unknown lifeform that threaten to wipe the city off the map. The film stars Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo, Kevin Dunn, Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer and was directed by Roland Emmerich who has developed a reputation for producing big-budget disaster films such as this, Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. The film was dedicated to Tomuyuki Tanaka, the Japanese creator and producer of Godzilla who had died during this film's production. Despite impressive global earnings of $379 million dollars, the film was considered a disappointment by parent company Sony in the wake of negative reviews from critics and audiences alike. Even today, it is considered one of the weakest films in the long-running franchise and the Toho Company (the owners of the rights to the character) as well as several cast and crew members have distanced themselves from this film.

Years after a series of nuclear tests in French Polynesia post World War II, a Japanese cannery vessel in the area is suddenly attacked by a powerful, unknown force. While the sole survivor is traumatised in a hospital in Tahiti, a mysterious French man attempts to discover what caused the disaster. Meanwhile in Chernobyl, American scientist Nick Tatapoulos is conducting experiments on worms in the region when he is interrupted by the US Government who confiscate his research and reassign him to Panama to investigate a strange trail of destruction, apparently caused by some enormous giant creature.

In the mother of all rainstorms, a trio of fishing vessels are mysteriously sunk off the Eastern seaboard near New York where it soon becomes apparent that Nick's theories about a mutant new species are correct. As the beast emerges from the sea and begins destroying everything in its path, Nick works alongside the US military to try and evacuate the city while trying to figure out how best to stop this primeval creature before it's too late.

It's not easy approaching a film with a reputation as bad as this one with a clear mind but I sincerely gave it my best shot. Having said that, it's not hard to see why the film failed and remarkably quickly as well. Yes, logic isn't always your best friend with these type of kaiju movies but this Godzilla is so bone-headed that it takes your breath away. Desperately looking for anything to recommend, I settled on the moments where the film shines brightest and where Emmerich's fetish for large-scale destruction is clearest. The scenes where big 'zilla rampages through the streets, causing billions of dollars of chaos, are initially impressive and well thought-out as its tail flicks against the endless skyscrapers as it flees the amassed military forces trying to contain it. The rain gives the film a suitably apocalyptic atmosphere as well while the film happily ticks off every cliché in the Big Book of Disaster Movies. For the popcorn-munching masses who just want to be entertained at the basest of levels then this explosive spectacle does just the trick.

While the design of the creature isn't especially great, I did admire the efforts the filmmakers put in to make it feel like an actual animal rather than an anthropomorphic monster. If anything, it feels the most believable presence on screen despite its size varying wildly between scenes and its limited screen time. I wanted to see more of it instead of the bland-as-tap water human cast who have the minimum amount of character development (this one's inexplicably irresistible to women, this one just wants a decent cup of coffee, this one just wants to be taken seriously as a journalist, etc.). This film spends so much energy throwing ideas on the screen without stopping to wonder if any of them are actually worth it and unfortunately, almost none of them are.

• Mayor Ebert and his bullied assistant Gene are obvious nods to real-life film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel who had previously criticised Emmerich's earlier films Stargate and Independence Day. Both critics were disappointed by their inclusion, calling it "petty" and bemoaned the fact that they weren't even squashed by the monster although Ebert described Lerner's performance as "gamely played". They both cited the film as one of the worst of the year.
• The film features three voice actors from the Simpsons in the cast: Azaria, Shearer and Nancy Cartwright who briefly appears as Caiman's assistant. Azaria even mistakenly slips into his Mo Szyslak voice when his character begins running across the rooves of abandoned cars.
• The producers originally planned to have Jan de Bont direct after his huge success with Speed in 1994. He quit the production after his budget demands weren't meant and for a while, Tim Burton and Clive Burton were also considered as possible directors. Emmerich eventually landed the job despite openly stating that he wasn't a fan of the character and purposefully pitched for a very different iteration of the character, thinking that Toho would turn his ideas down. To his regret, they instead agreed.
• The film's first teaser trailer and tag-line ("Size does matter") were aimed at the success of Jurassic Park, depicting Godzilla's giant foot crushing a T-Rex skeleton underneath it. Despite costing about $600'000 for this one shot, it wasn't included in the final film.

Hoo, boy - let me count the ways...

Aside from Broderick and Reno, the film has no discernible stars that stand out amid the effects. But nobody gives a particularly good account of themselves - Broderick never feels comfortable in the lead and is so wet that his character is usually referred to as 'the worm guy' which is not the way to get audiences to root for him. Pitillo is entirely forgettable, Reno looks like he's wondered in from a different film set entirely and Dunn feels like a more serious version of his character from Hot Shots! The supporting cast also don't really stand out aside from Shearer's sleazy journalist who acts and sounds exactly like his Kent Brockman character from The Simpsons. Not a single member of the human cast stands a hope of being memorable amid so much digital destruction but such things are often the case in Emmerich films - can any of you remember any of the characters from 2012, for example?

There are so many gaps in the logic of the narrative that it starts to become funny. Within the first twenty minutes, the film leaps from French Polynesia to Tahiti to Panama to Jamaica to New York without ever addressing how Godzilla crossed Central America without causing so much as a sneeze or anybody seeing him. Did he swim underneath or something? Speaking of inexplicables, how did the US military ever achieve anything? Not only are they depicted as being almost completely useless but never before in the history of film has so much munition been fired at so big a target without hitting a damn thing other than notable New York landmarks - which are never mentioned after the scene in which they are destroyed. Perhaps the most perplexing thing about this mess is the inclusion of Reno - why are the French secret service involved in the film at all and why are all the French soldiers called Jean (I'm not joking - the four of them are called Jean-Claude, Jean-Luc, Jean-Phillipe and Jean-Pierre)? Why do they keep calling the monster a male when they somehow discover that it's pregnant, again through extremely improbable means?

This film is the opposite of something like Memento which rewards more intelligent viewers - Godzilla openly plays to the dumbest of audiences who don't care about cohesion, logic or common sense and just want to see stuff blow up. This film looks even worse if you've seen almost any other Godzilla film - even the grim US 2014 version is far superior in every way while the recent Japanese prequel Godzilla Minus One is an exquisite modern take on this rather old-fashioned style of movie, whether it's in colour or black-and-white. But perhaps my biggest gripe is that this film completely ignores the character's origins as a manifestation of the horror of atomic war and fear of nuclear weapons (weapons that were dropped by the US, lest we forget), turning such allegory into yet another movie more concerned with the visual spectacle of such destruction instead of its lasting impact and meaning. Perhaps this might have been acceptable in the pre-9/11 days but now, it just looks insensitive and dismissive. I wouldn't for a second suppose that anyone involved in the production had actually been to Hiroshima and seen the displays at the city's museum of twisted glass bottles and melted children's toys.

There are many reasons why fans of Godzilla refer to this particular effort as GINO - Godzilla In Name Only. It is neither a tribute to the much-loved original or a successful attempt to America-fy a uniquely Japanese creation. Instead, it's an excuse for Emmerich to do what he loves doing best - ripping up cities, landmarks and symbols of patriotism at the expense of memorable characters, engrossing stories and audience engagement. It's not even that good at doing that with some noticeably bad effects in places and a creature - the film's central feature, no less - is uninspiring and ugly. Believe the hype - this film is so bad that it really should be buried deep underground and forgotten about.

Great For: audiences who don't care about any quality, ruining reputations

Not So Great For: executives at Toho aghast at the Americans trying to ruin their boy, fans of the character or franchise, masochists

To my shame, the original Godzilla has remained one of my big white whales as I have yet to see it. Despite this glaring and frustrating gap in my film-watching experience, I can at least appreciate their impact on the global cultural landscape. The film is widely considered to be the first example of kaiju cinema, a subgenre of film depicting large monsters battling humanity or other different monsters. There were earlier examples such as King Kong and a silent adaptation of The Lost World in 1925 but kaiju struck a particular chord in Japan where it became a massive part of the film industry. Godzilla himself has appeared in movies ever since his debut alongside other luminaries like Mothra, King Ghidorah, Gamera and Rodan. The US have, in recent years, attempted to develop their own cinematic universe featuring such creatures starting with 2014's Godzilla. Later entries have seen Godzilla and Kong clash (Godzilla Vs Kong) and even team up (Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire) and there are no signs of this so-called Monsterverse slowing down with another film due in 2027.

I find it a little depressing that not a single Japanese Godzilla film has earned anywhere near the amounts that an American Godzilla film has made so far. Godzilla Minus One is the most successful Japanese production to date, with global takings in excess of $115 million and almost universal critical acclaim - a stark contrast to this film, which earned more than twice as much despite annoying almost everybody. Surprisingly, the best received US adaptation isn't a film at all but a TV series - Monarch: Legacy Of Monsters is a series set in the same setting as the 2014 Godzilla and follows an organisation keeping track of similarly vast creatures, both in the present day and in the past. Personally, I'll keep trying to catch the very first film.