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Tip of the Hat to the Grad

Updated on December 8, 2014

Congrats New Graduate! Class of 20(...)!

So, you've finally did it! After spending 4 or so years (roughly 1.7 of your cat years) slaving away studying, you can now officially call yourself a college graduate! Now you are ready to take the world by storm, to reach for the skies, to spread your wings and fly, to boldly go where no feline (or human, if you happen to be human) has gone before, to- okay I think you get the point.

Now that you are ready to face this new dog-eat-dog world- Wait! Don't run away it's just an expression! I think that you should take the time to marvel at your achievements these past four years! So, let's look back at your college experience!

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A word of thanks

Sure your parents probably helped pay for your college education or maybe you did it all on your own, either way it's important to thank all the other people who made this special day possible.

First of all, you should extend a heartfelt thanks to the technicians at Google for all those times that you had to pretend that you knew what your professors were talking about. For instance, remember sitting in the back row hiding behind your laptop/classmate in your (insert class here) and the professor suddenly calling out your name and asking you a question that you couldn't possibly answer? Well, under those circumstances you would normally panic, but seeing as how you made Google your homepage, you were able to quickly search for the answer and amaze your professor!

So, thanks Google for making college students one step ahead of the game!

Secondly, you should extend a deep heartfelt thanks to the architects, technicians, and online contributors and writers at Wikipedia for all those times that you had to write a paper. Remember all those years that you spent going to the library in grade school digging through piles and piles of books, articles, periodicals, etc? Aren't you glad that you didn't have to do any of that in college? College students are known to overwork themselves constantly by partying, sleeping, and eating vasts amounts of junk food, they don't have idle time to waste doing research, writing their own papers or finding their own sources!

So, thanks Wikipedia for helping college students manage their time more effectively!

Thirdly, you should extend a warm thanks to the makers of Vodka for all those times you felt socially awkward. Remember all those times you had trouble connecting to your peers in high school? Didn't you wish that you had the courage to actively engage with your classmates? Well, your wish came true when you attended (insert function here) and had copious amounts of vodka which enabled you to talk to your crush and engage in meaningful conversations like academic probation or suspension or playing fun games like beer pong and let's find my keys. In addition, you should thank coffee makers too for enabling you to recover from your hangover, bad date, and early morning blues.

So, thanks makers of vodka and coffee for helping college students be more active and social!

Finally, you should extend a incredibly huge thanks to Facebook for keeping you connected to your parents, current and or future employers. You see, parents often feel left out of their kids lives once they are in college. Luckily for them, they have tons Facebook photos of their grown kids falling asleep on lawns, getting chased by campus police, or playing beer pong to keep them connected to their offspring (they don't have to watch Cops or the evening news anymore). Remember, a family that stays connected via Facebook bonds for a lifetime!

Also, Facebook enables your current and future employers to see your great work ethic as a hardworking college student (college students and grads set your privacy settings now) and whether your interests (like if you're a big fan of Transformers films, Bono or beer pong) line up with your promotion or career path.

So, thanks Facebook for connecting college students to their families and employers!

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