Am I Being An Overprotective Parent
Confessions of a Helicopter Mom
I admit it. I am the very embodiment of a “Helicopter Mom”. What is a “Helicopter Mom” you ask? Picture a hovering helicopter, now put a Mom (that would be me) in place of the helicopter and her kid (that would be my daughter) in place of what is being hovered over.
My daughter is now 11 years old. She is tall, blonde, beautiful inside and out and highly independent. I take complete credit for all of that. Well, the tall blonde part is her dad’s fault, but the rest is all me. I tried for three years to have a baby, enduring three miscarriages and heartache. The doctor’s dire pronouncements were that I would never carry full term due to one single month of chemo (thirteen years previously) and endometriosis, and fibroids, etc. etc. True to my character, I thumbed my nose and flipped my middle finger at the allopathic medical community and went herbal. Four months after my third miscarriage I was pregnant again. This one stuck and I gave birth to my amazing daughter at the age of 40.
Research, research, research!
For the three years I was trying to have a baby, I was pouring over every possible parenting site, book, magazine and anything else I could get my hands on. So when she was born, I was ready to be the best parent on the planet. I waived the vaccinations due to the incredible amount of poisons within each. Controversial, yes but being an herbalist for 25 years and having cured myself of cancer with herbs and supplements after quitting chemo , I will never be persuaded that destroying a newborn’s immune system by overloading it with crap is the correct way. I see another hub on just this subject in my near future, but I digress. My daughter was the lucky recipient of the “attachment parenting” way. I wore her everywhere and breastfed till she was three years old. When she had play dates, either her father or I were ALWAYS there no matter where the play date occurred. When she went to preschool, I would be “that Mom” who called in twice a day to check on my child. Either they would deal with my calls or I would pull my child from the school, simple as that.
Both my husband and I drive crap cars so we have the money to keep our daughter in private school. There is simply no other alternative as far as we are concerned. Public schools, though some are outstanding, are lacking. I know. My father was a teacher, my best friend is a teacher, and my daughter’s Godmother is a teacher. I know exactly how public schools operate. The teachers try, but are blocked by outdated rules and ridiculous lack of budgeting. At 35 + kids per teacher, the odds were not for us. So when I see a person drive up to a public school in a Mercedes, the first thought in my brain is, now there’s someone who cares more about appearance than the welfare of their child. It may not be a correct assumption, but it’s what I see. In the private school where our daughter is enrolled, I know her safety and education comes first. When there are field trips, one of us accompanies the class. The teachers are grateful for the help and we know our daughter is safe.
I don’t trust many people to watch our child and I never have. I trust my good friend (special ed teacher) and mother to my daughter’s best friend. I trust my sister. That is about it. I would no more have a 15 year old babysit my child than I would let her go play in traffic! 15 year olds are teenagers. They live to text and talk about boys. Their sense of responsibility is not developed enough to care for themselves, let alone a younger child!
I have been accused of “overprotecting and sheltering” our child. My answer to that is, aaaannnddd? Your point? The key word there is CHILD. She is 11 years old. She is a child. When she was being bullied in her class by someone she thought was her friend, we knew about it immediately. Our response was to speak with the principle and set up a meeting to speak with the parents of the bullying child. Our next response was to enroll our daughter in Krav Maga classes, another expense we could ill afford, but did anyway. Why? Because we have a responsibility. We brought a living being onto this planet and therefore our responsibility is to keep her safe. The principle immediately held an assembly to address the “general” issue of bullying. My girl was not mentioned, not pointed out and no one knew but us and the bully and her parents why this assembly was being held. I went to each of her teachers and told them that now my daughter is entering self defense class. She is NOT allowed to start a fight but we have absolutely no problem if she finishes one. She knows this. She is now moving up to Level Three Orange belt in Krav Maga and has never been stronger and more self confident.
The Edge Of The Mountain - Written by My Daughter
- Suzi Rayve | Edge of the Mountain | CD Baby Music Store
Listen to and buy Suzi Rayve music on CD Baby. Download Edge of the Mountain by Suzi Rayve on the independent record store by musicians for musicians.
Unprotected - My Brother's story
- Destroyed by LSD - Bruised and Broken by Hate - How I Learned From My "Special" Br
I love my brother. I call him "Rainman". Once a genius, he was destroyed by a bully. He bounced back, but it was a painful road.
I am PROUD!
My point in this writing is this: I am a “Helicopter Mom”. I am proud of it. I worked hard at it and still do. My daughter is the most independent, self assured, confident and amazing person I know. She sees someone being bullied and her first response is NOT to turn a blind eye. She speaks up, she protects the bullied one. If she sees a person or animal in distress, she runs to help. She has written three scripts and filmed two movies. She has written a song with her Godfather and it is being released on my CD at the end of the year. She can kick someone’s ass and turn around and be concerned that she has hurt them in the same moment! Does she groan when I say, “When you’re at the sleepover, call me a few times please?” Of course she does, but inside she knows she is loved and cherished and protected now so that when she is ready to spread her wings and fly it will be an awesome flight!
So, think about it. Being a “Helicopter Mom” may just be the best thing. Especially in this day and age when someone can pluck your child out of a shopping cart if you have turned your back for a second. In this day and age when your child can be kidnapped and held for 10 years in a house where no one will help them. Every year an estimated 800,000 children go missing. 800,000!! I for one will do my utmost and all I can do to prevent my child from being one of those. Am I overprotective? Am I really?