- Family and Parenting
A FAMILY IN TROUBLE
Seldom you can find a perfect family. There are instances that a family was on fire. Troubles within the family are common. Disagreement between parents or parents with their children. There were even misunderstanding between brothers and sisters. The differences in views and opinions triggered a family to be in a quandary to fight each other thinking they are right in their own belief. A family in trouble ends up in separation especially among parents. Parents going in separate direction is a very painful decision for the children to take. But parents always disregard the feeling of the children. They were not looking for the welfare of their own family. They were looking for their own interest. And when that happens the problem begin.
Children left in the care of one member of the family or a relative or from someone being tasked to take the role of parents led mostly to a delinquent child. The emptiness of life the children felt due to separation of their parents can often be the source of having a problematic child. They don't have a proper direction, discipline and guidance to mold them into a better person. As a sign of protest, they no longer care about themselves. They don't mind whatever will happen to them in the street.
It is not easy but it is a reality that when parent's relationship crumbled, children are mostly affected. But how about those little children who doesn't understand yet what happened when one of his parents is now out of his sight. Handling maybe difficult if you don't have the right answer to those innocent question of asking "where's my father?" Sometimes the best thing is to lie to him which is not the right thing to do. You cannot lie to him forever. He has the right to know.
Anxiety is one of the psychological problem a children have to faced in his life. A period of adjustment is necessary to cope with the crisis. He should be given enough patience and understanding of his reluctance to accept the fact that his mother or father is leaving him for good. A reassurance is needed to encourage him to accept the person other than his mother who will take care of him and inform him tactfully to accept this new environment. Excessive fear in the care of other person the child will experience for several days or weeks or even longer depending on the severity of that fear. This will be the time when a child wanted to be alone most of the time. He doesn't want to interact with other children outside his home. Removing this anxiety period is the biggest problem for a handler to manage. She should make her best effort to develop trust to her. She should provide a healing method easy for the child to comprehend. Anxiety cannot easily be taken from the heart of the child. Utmost care is needed to avoid it to become a serious problem that may affect the normal development of the child.
Permanent detachment is the most harmful form of separation. It can no longer be resolve if the cause is due to divorce or death. The intense emotional pain feel by the mother and children will hamper them living a normal lives. This crippling situation maybe fatal if not handled properly. Learning to cope is the only way to put the situation on hold. As this relationship can no longer be restored, the mother had to choose putting his life back and move on.
The most important thing for the mother to do is to give her all-out support to her children. Love and concern can be a good instrument to avoid the children to develop hate to their parents. The mother should tell them how sorry she was about such separation. Although its painful but it is also necessary. She has to control their disappointment of expecting a perfect family environment. She should not try to drive away the feeling from her instead embrace them with so much love. Comfort them the best she can in order to put her home once again to be happy despite the absence of one member of the family. The success of her endeavor lies on her, and she should not fail them.