A Journey into Motherhood
In the beginning
For as long as I can remember I wanted to have children. There was never a moment in my life when I didn't think that I would be a mom. Growing up I played house, pretended to be a mom and took mental notes as I watched my own mom mother myself and my sister. Once I was married, I knew that I would want to start that family, but not right away. I had just graduated from college and wanted to spend some time in my career, not to mention that I wanted to be able to spend some time with my husband before we added that new layer to our relationship. Little did I know what effect that decision would have on my future.
Jump ahead seven years. My husband and I are now ready to start a family. Unfortunately we are unable to conceive. We received so much advice: just relax, you're trying too hard, it will just happen, just think positive. My emotions ran rampant and every time I saw a baby my thoughts immediately went to 'why can't that be me?' It seemed as though I was surrounded by babies. My friends and coworkers were getting pregnant, parents of my students were pregnant. I had baby showers of close friends to attend and I needed to put on a happy face even though inside I was sobbing. We decided to see a specialist and found that we did have some medical issues to overcome. After many tests, a minor surgery, and lots of conversation, we were ready to begin IUI. For those who are unfamiliar that is an abbreviation for Intrauterine insemination. It is essentially injecting the man's sperm into the uterus of the woman where in theory the insemination will take place. Our doctor was not hopeful that it would work for us but he was willing to try the least invasive, least expensive method for a few tries before moving on to other options. The procedure would be repeated for two consecutive days and I was told that I could go to work after the procedure. I believe greatly in the power of thought and decided that I needed to keep my body calm and relaxed despite what "research showed." My husband went in first to do his part and stopped at Starbucks for a double espresso to "get things moving." I went in a few hours later, had the procedure done and went home to relax. Not quite the way that I envisioned becoming a mother but I was willing to do what it would take. I spent the next two days in bed watching baby shows and picturing myself pregnant and holding my beautiful baby. Only time would tell if it worked.
My miracle babies
Whether it was the double shot of esspreso or the visualization, the IUI worked on the first try and I sit here today the mother of two beautiful healthy babies. No, we didn't have twins. My beautiful daughter was born in January of 2007 and nine months later we discovered we were pregnant again, a wonderful surprise. My son was born July 4th of the the following year. As I approach the 4th anniversary of my motherhood, I look at my children in wonder and awe. I remember those emotional days in which I went from never thinking I wouldn't become a mother to wondering if it would ever be possible. I am very blessed. I know that there are couples who face this struggle every day and go through even more than what I did. I think of my blessings often and pray for those who struggle with this same challenge and hope that they are blessed one day in the way that I was.
Books that I found useful
I used this one all of the time when I realized that I was not getting pregnant on my own.