ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Manage Child's Cry?

Updated on January 19, 2017
Boy crying and fighting his big emotions
Boy crying and fighting his big emotions | Source

Don't cry, it's nothing!

'Don't cry, it's nothing!' 'Don't cry, you don't have a reason!' How often do we say that to our children? How often do you hear those words from others when they talk to their children when they are crying?

Why are we sometimes so afraid when the child is crying? Why are we sometimes angry? And why do we sometimes feel completely lost? What it does in us that sometimes we just want to stop it immediately?

Girl crying. What is she thinking?
Girl crying. What is she thinking? | Source

Why is it so hard?

We understand crying when a child is physically hurt; he fell from the bike, she ran and stumbled. But why is it so hard to feel and understand psychical and emotional pain? Or why we expect that the child will quickly process his feelings? Some of the crying we can manage, some of the crying seems logical to us and we can offer our empathy, love, and understanding. But what is going on when we can't bear a second more of crying? Why is it so hard?

Sad girl crying all alone
Sad girl crying all alone | Source

Our inner child

It is because good healthy child's cry opens our inner young human. Unknowingly it leads us to our depths, exactly where we have not clarified our own feelings from our childhood.

It is painful for us also. There are so many hidden feelings inside of us that we are not aware of. And having children and watching and absorbing their sad and not so pleasant feelings is hard for adults also. Because in a child's meltdown there you stand all rough and naked and at the same time also very complex, subjected to your and child's emotions. And in this way we don't feel pleasant, we feel fear, sadness, anger, emptiness, disappointment. A whole range of emotions we sometimes even can not describe. That is why sometimes we just want to get rid of this emotions, we want them to stop, to hide again. We want the child to stop crying, so we can forget about all this hidden storage. We will never say a smiling child to stop smiling or that there is no reason for him or her to smile. No. A smile warms our hearts, it makes us feel pleasant. But cry, a cry is something different.

Why is she so sad?
Why is she so sad? | Source

What to do?

Now imagine all these big feelings that you can hardly control, all those big feelings inside the child. Inside the small body of your child. How strange and how intense this must feel. Such a big emotions in such a small body. And with little experiences what all this even is. It's their big struggle also. Even bigger, because they are smaller, they are still at the beginning of their world exploration. And with an adult who adopts the whole child's world, with all the ups and downs, his exploration will be more pleasant, his journey more joyful and in the end self-awareness and self-understanding will be child's biggest gift.

So what to do? As a parent try. Try harder. Try all of these:

  • help yourself understand what is going on inside of you. What remains that has to be recovered? Observe yourself, find you trigger and try to resolve it.
  • give, give unconditional love, understanding, and empathy. To yourself. To the child.
  • remember that this is her struggle, not yours, try to keep a distance so you can calmly help her with her big emotions.
  • be there for him, never try to make his problems less worth than yours. These are big and real fights that your child is going through.
  • let them cry, let them get all these terrifying feelings out. You are helping them become healthy adults.

Never forget emphaty
Never forget emphaty | Source


Empathy. A Little word with great meaning. This is all we need. To feel, to understand others. And it is the most our children need. They need to know that someone understands them. They need to know that someone loves them, all of them when they laugh when they cry. They need to feel secure with all the feelings inside of them. Empathy. Be there with your child. Let them cry, let them be little and feel big. Because in that way we are building adults who won't' be terrified with child's cry.

Dealing with child's cry

Have you ever said to your child that she/he is crying for no reason?

See results

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)