A Life in the day: Addiction

Addiction is a powerful drug; every waking moment is consumed with the insatiable desire to appease the beast. It starts off innocently enough, the acquiescence to ‘take off the edge’ of life’s hard knocks. Then one day the addict awakens to find their servant has become their master. The Genie is out of the bottle, in a manner of speaking.

As a single digit alcohol addict, I submit this epiphany is the first step toward the reclamation of one’s life. Growing up in the early 60’s, alcohol availability was all encompassing; the generational societal attitude toward alcohol was promiscuous. I indulged in the access of ‘hard liquor’ between the ages of 7 to 17. I should add I knew it would be a matter of consequence with my parents in the form of ‘the belt.’ thereby, earning my badge of deceit. Deception is an essential qualification to be a successful alcoholic, or any substance abuser for that matter.

The relevancy of the circumstance is to understand the state of mind of an addict; the significant factor being the ability to recognize the signs of deception. When the tricks are known, the proverbial bells and whistles cannot be silenced. It’s akin to knowing how David Copperfield performs illusions. In time, the tailored eye recognizes dysfunction and erratic behavior as the ‘tells’ of an accomplished addict. The caveat being, those whom choose to intervene shall pay a dear price for doing so.

The intervening outsider should expect the ultimate internal battle to ensue from within between good and evil; the self serving mortal agenda versus the moral righteousness. The intervening outsider should expect the ultimate external battle to ensue from the resistant addict. Then there is the spectator whom has a ticket in the cheap seats whom simply don’t see what you see, simply doesn’t know what you know. The path of least resistance becomes exceedingly appealing to the prospective interventionist.

In these times of conflict, one tends to question motive and justification toward such involvement. The philosophy and self reflection of being viewed as a fence sitter, a flip flopper, a hypocrite, or worse an enabler? “To Glimpse at one’s soul, a weakness this power… In times of doubt, I weep as I cower…” these are the conversations inside the mind of one whom has been there, one who has done that.

Speaking strictly for myself, at the age of 17, I needed to reset my mind. The self destructive behavior I had exhibited required a force more powerful than the substance I was addicted to. Basic Military Training placed my mindset into a survival mode. The amalgamation was no longer a shade of gray. The man in my face stated in no uncertain terms things were either black or they were white…and it scared the devil out of me!

Appealing to our better Angels is exceedingly more appealing than succumbing to our alternative demons. At least it is for this man. We are gone in a blink of the eye with respect to the scheme of time. It is our obligation to do all in our power to set those free of their shortcomings. It is a privilege to assist one to soar above their limitations.

Addiction is a powerful drug; every waking moment is consumed with the insatiable desire to appease the beast… the pleasure center. If you can turn off the ground noise of your critics because you’re being too harsh, glory is likely one step closer. Maybe, and only maybe, one can live beyond their years if one achieves success in their fight for the righteous.