Adoption: Perspectives from an Adult Adoptee

Hello everyone,

My name is Dave and I have formatted this page to provide opinion and reflection on the adoption process, family structure, life, emotions, etc. from the propsective of an adult adoptee. In no way should anything I write be thought of as advice, legal counsel, confirmed factual information, etc. This will merely serve as my venue to provide my thoughts on a life provided by adoption. If you are also an adult adoptee, please feel free to share your thoughts. If you are perspective parents, please ask your questions and share your experiences. I would welcome any helpful insight from adoption agencies or other governing bodies as well. This page is for anyone who, in general, is interested/intrigued/curious about the real-life experiences and perspective of an adult adoptee.

This is a new page and will take some time to add more content.  I hope to include my background information in the coming days.  Thanks for your patience.

I am one of three adopted children from South Korea in my family.  Each of my siblings were also adopted from South Korea yet none of us are biologically related.  We were all adopted between the ages of 3 months (me) and 6 months.  I grew up in a predominantly white community in the Northeast United States, went to college in the Southeast, and now reside and work in this region.  I have a career in Financial Services/Investment Management and enjoy a typical mid-20's lifestyle.   

Nowadays, it is MUCH more common to see Caucasian parents with Asian/different race children than it was in the mid 80's.  A lot of things have changed since that time.  Every time I am out with my parents and see another family like ours, there is an almost instant connection and understanding without even speaking one word to each other.  I can almost sense the parents wanting to ask questions about "what it's like" now that I and my siblings are adults.  I feel that they want to know the unique stories, instances, and experiences that my family encountered throughout my upbringing.  They would like to find out how my parents broke the news to us that we were adopted (it didn't take long), how I formulated my own outlook on adoption, and how that outlook varies widely with the outlook of my siblings.  They want to talk to my parents or seek advice on how they handled certain situations with family and friends, especially those extended family members who did not quite understand or accept the process.  They want to know how my parents handled the "where did I come from" question that is always inevitable with children.  I have had the fortunate experience of interacting with other adoptees throughout my upbringing and it so comforting to know that others are thinking what I think, have the same questions as I do, wonder the same things about their past, etc.  If you are one of these individuals, feel free to share your experiences because I know how much better if feels to know you are not “alone.”

In adulthood, albeit a young adulthood, I have now had the opportunity to fully reflect on my young life and I feel that my experiences can serve to help those who need it.  So please, whether you are an adoptee, potential adopting parent, newly adoptive parent, or parent of adult adoptees and you have questions or would like to share your thoughts and experiences please do so!  This is your chance to ask the questions that are not found in an information manual and the opportunity to get the answers you wouldn’t be able to get from your case worker, lawyer, friend (unless all three of these people are adoptees), or biological child/children.