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A life in the day: Adjoining Ambivalence

Updated on September 24, 2012

As we made our way down the highway to remedy the young couple’s living conditions, the stark reality became apparent our journey began on the wrong footing. Albeit true, Kiley had composed herself to a more socially acceptable consciousness; it would soon become apparent the group had lost its way.

Sitting in the driver’s seat next to a potentially seasoned young man left me wondering if life’s harsh realities had broken through the naiveté of taking the easy road. I recall the words of wisdom I shared with Kevin which typically fell on deaf ears. “Doing the easy thing and doing the right thing are seldom one in the same.” I was left to speculate if this short spell of reality actually achieved the result I prayed for.

As the radio in the car searched for a station playing celebratory music, it indiscriminately passed a news channel. Once again, I was harkened back to a relevant distance memory. As just a boy riding shotgun with my Dad, the silence was interrupted only by News Radio 88. “You give us twenty-two minutes; we’ll give you the world.” That particular slogan always mesmerized me, fore what I wouldn’t do today or back in the day, with twenty-two minutes with my father. So many unasked questions remained unanswered. So many of the very questions my son asks of me today, I would have asked of my Dad.

The words from my mother’s figure of speech resonated from beyond to bring me back in time; “When you see the shadows you need to turn back toward the light.” She was a symbiotic soul believing in the simplicity of a profound summarization of the situation. She would have added a point of finality to her wisdom such as “we’re lost”, or “we’re travelling in the wrong direction or heading down the wrong road.” The summaries could not have been truer in our case, metaphorically as well as literally, so to speak.

It was these very thoughts which got me through raising my eldest son Tim as a single parent. I chose not to let the moment pass then, as I would choose not to let the moment pass now. As parents we try to rectify the perceived shortcomings of our parent’s child rearing, in our untailored mind’s eye anyway. Therefore, if my son tried to succeed and subsequently failed, I had every intention of reinforcing the notion to try and if need be fail again.

I would reinforce the notion of giving my precious darling Granddaughter everything she could possibly need, as opposed to everything she could possibly want. Indeed, it is a fact that Kevin’s daughter cannot be replaced within the lifetime of Kevin. It’s simply a non-negotiable reality of life; or more explicitly, it should be. Fore without this basic constitution of uncontaminated adoration, the parent child relationship is destined to be stuck in reverse.

I decided this thought of clarity from beyond was enough for me to arbitrate our journey. I voiced my concern regarding the 20 minute trip taking nearly an hour. As it turns out the GPS was set for home; home being discerned by the gadget as Arizona. My mother would have loved the irony of that symbolic moment.

We corrected the course heading toward the light to guide our way home. My wife Jen and I mentally prepared for our preordained mission. Tonight we would enjoy the seemingly never ending realization of the anticipation to this moment. Regardless of what the future may hold. Regardless of what the future may hope.


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    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR

      gjfalcone 

      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      And so it is, as it was and shall always be, we take solace in the notion we are able to just keep ongoing. Thanks for your support in my endeavor Michele.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 

      6 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      I couldn't even tell you how many times I wished I could turn back time. But, I never could. Just learn from the past and keep going on.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR

      gjfalcone 

      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      Hello Joyce,

      Your kind words of support are music to my ears... and I do love the sound of music.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR

      gjfalcone 

      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      Hey femme,

      I suppose you pretty much summed up a life in the day. We follow along without fully knowing where or to what it will lead us from... and to...

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR

      gjfalcone 

      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      If there is one person other than my daughter that has the capacity to stop me in my tracks...

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 

      6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      I really enjoyed your story, it kept reading. Great work.

      Voted up, awesome and interesting, Joyce.

    • profile image

      femmeflashpoint 

      6 years ago

      GJ,

      Still following this. But, where it's leading is eluding me. :)

      femme

    • profile image

      Linda 

      6 years ago

      Well said brother... memories...tickle our emotions at the oddest times...great pictures... and yes...if only we could turn back time....

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