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All Stubborn Children Hate This Answer
As a child I was known to be a bit stubborn and argumentative.
If you listen carefully...you can hear my mother laughing uncontrollably right now!
With those personality traits, there was always one response to my endless questions/debating that I HATED and know other's like me did too.
"But Mom, why…..?"
Don't say it! Don't say it!
"Because I Said SO!!"
Yes, there it is the most hated response.
Why you ask….because I said so!!
Ha ha, okay joking aside it’s because that meant the argument was OVER! You could debate all day with any other response. Yet, once those words were said aloud anything said after would be classified as "whining". With whining, you're now at risk of getting in trouble and no kid wants that!
Annoyed with the response, I vowed to myself to never give that response to my children. I would always answer any question/debate on any subject until it was clear and concise as to why I answered the way I did. If it was not understood then we’d work on ways to understand together.
Years went by, I married the love of my life and we had a beautiful baby girl.
Then... she turned TWO!.
The questions of why and the answers seemed to never end. Even with me explaining it as simply as I could.
→“Mom, why can’t I eat the entire chocolate cake?”
“You’ll get a stomach ache and it’s not good to eat all of the cake in one sitting.”
→“No, I won’t.”
“Yes, you will!”
Did she not have the comprehension to completely understand my answers? Or was it something else?
I even tried my famous, “Seriously, kid? (Mom Look)”.
Yep, that didn't work either.
So, after endless arguing, I blurted it out after one more… “but why?”
“Because I Said SO!”
My head exploded!
Did I just say that? Did I turn into my mother?
I looked at my daughter as she stopped and stared at me as if analyzing the situation. Then as expected, the stare turned into a mad glare.
After a few moments of silence, she turned around and started playing with some toys. As if she was the one who decided to move on.
Then the “Ah Ha” moment happened!
Maybe sometimes, that is the response kids NEED to hear.
My mother is an extremely knowledgeable person so the reason was not because she didn’t know how to explain to me or she didn’t think I understood.
Simply, she knew I was in arguing mode and I wouldn’t slow my thoughts down enough to process until I heard that phrase.
♥Pretty smart if you ask me.
I've decided I will no longer be hard on myself if I have to say that once hated response. For now I know, that my mother understood what I needed to hear even if I didn't know it then. Instead, I appreciate my new understanding that there are times when kids need to hear it.
I mean, seriously?? I made a vow as a mad, stubborn child over that!
It's no wonder why my mom believes in Karma and laughs when I tell her about my argumentative children.
My hope and wish is that my children understand this too someday. Questions can be answered if slow down enough to actually listen and absorb their meanings.
When that glorious day comes, I will be elated! Not only because they "get it", but because I'll finally get a chance to explain Karma and laugh!
© 2017 Candace Stanger