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All Things Do Work Together For Good

Updated on December 9, 2016
Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran is a writer & former newspaper reporter/editor who traveled the world as a soldier's better half. Her works are on Amazon.

My youngest son got married this weekend.

He was the child I was never going to have.

I got married the month after I graduated from college.

I married my high school sweetheart.

We spent three years getting used to marriage, then had a daughter and a son right on schedule. Thirteen months later I got pregnant by accident.

I was devastated. I was panicked. I'd never done anything "unplanned" in my life. Just as I was getting used to the idea of having a baby when I hadn't intended to - I had a miscarriage. It all happened in about twelve hours. And I was devastated again.

No one could tell me what happened - or why. These things just sometimes happen. Yeah, well, maybe to other people, but it had never happened to me before. I wanted answers. I wanted to understand what had gone wrong. But no one could tell me.

My husband would find me crying and assure me I could not have wished away a baby. I'd look at my year-old son and my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter and know that baby would have been just like one of them. How had I ever not wanted it? Him? Her?

I started to think maybe two children were enough. We'd started out wanting four. After my second child, as an Army wife left alone so much, I was ready to say "enough." But I really didn't want it all to end with a miscarriage. So we were discussing when and if we might want to try again for a third, when, low and behold, I got pregnant again - by accident!

But this time I was thrilled. And grateful. And terrified. I had to get past the thirteenth week before I would even tell anyone. That's how far I'd gotten the last time. After that I caught every flu bug, every infection, every seasonal allergy, and was generally miserable. I was more than thirty years old, and having a baby was no longer like falling off a log. Plus I had two preschoolers to chase after, and I was five to eight months pregnant during the summer in Georgia. I wanted to hang a sign around my neck that read "I didn't do this on purpose."

The other two had each come four days early, so I started expecting labor a week before my due date. Not smart. Makes . . .time . . drag . . .by . . . Also, this time I knew what was coming. It was the eighties and natural childbirth was expected. Well, I'd already done that twice, actually three times, and I knew how overrated it really was. I'd talked to my doctor about an epidural and fully intended to go the easy route this time. I'd had my daughter after two hours at the hospital. My son arrived a half hour after we made it to the hospital. I was expecting a record-short, medically-assisted delivery. I already had my badges of courage. I no longer needed to prove anything to anybody as a woman bringing a baby into the world.

This third baby did arrive four days prior to my due date. But he took eleven hours. My other two labors added together and quadrupled. Oh, I had my epidural all right. Plus this was my first through-the-night labor. No sleep. Transition at five a.m.! I was exhausted.


But then he finally came. And what a happy, easy-going little guy he turned out to be. Ladies at church would literally pull me into the nursery for me to see him smile. They didn't realize it was hardly news to me. He smiled all the time. People would ask me what kind of feeding schedule he was on. I'd tell them if he wasn't strapped into his car seat, I fed him. Hey, he had two busy siblings from day one. He was lucky he got fed at all!

But he was a delight. He was my "All things work together for good" baby. The one I would not have had if things had gone according to my master plan. The one who last Saturday stood tall under the oak tree with the sun setting over the pasture and promised to love, honor and cherish another woman.

It's OK. It's the way it should be. All things do work together for good.




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    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
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      Kathleen Cochran 10 days ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      A Mother's Day memory.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 13 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      A hub I just read about a midwife, made me remember this hub.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 17 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Christmas always makes me remember this experience. Hope it lifts someone's spirits at this time of year.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Thanks, sister-mary, for this practical encouragement:

      https://hubpages.com/health/Hope-After-Miscarriage...

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      tillsontitan and suzettenaples: Thanks for taking my story to heart and for adding to it with your comments. Blessings don't always come in the ways we plan. I love the comment, we plan and God laughs!

      In the last picture, my first two are standing proudly on the right of their baby brother.

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 5 years ago from Taos, NM

      What a beautiful story. You must be very proud! I always say the same thing: things work out for the best! Sounds like you survived three children quite well. Sometimes its those surprises that are the best of all. Congratulations!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      I had a daughter after a miscarriage and she has been a blessing since day one. Now as an adult, married with children, she continues to be a blessing to me. I did the natural child birth in reverse, the first two I was totally out, the third was breach so they didn't put me out until her little butt hit the table, so the fourth I braved and had natural childbirth.

      I could relate to everything you said here. Beautifully done.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Just read this again. It is so warm and wonderful and well written. It brought tears of joy to my eyes all over again. :)

      I just moved my tomato and pepper plants outside. We shall see how it goes. At least they are in containers, so if they flat out die, I can pull them up and go get something else to plant in the buckets. :)

      Still grading final exams, but I intersperse that "icky" task with chunks of time doing research on historical films that I want to use in various classes. And it is beautiful outside. I hope your week (and your writing) is going well. I)

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 5 years ago from New Jersey

      We make plans and god laughs....but I believe we all end up where we need to be!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Janine and Pollyannalana: Mothers get this. I'm so glad my experience spoke to you. Don't know the ages of your "All Things" babies, but I can tell you, it goes by too fast. The only good part about that is how much you enjoy them when they become wonderful adults .

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

      Great read, I planned on four but after 24 hours and fifteen minutes labor with my 1st on I said "no more." Then I got surprised with one more. lol

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 5 years ago from New York, New York

      I loved this and could totally relate of course Kathleen. As you know from reading my story, I too all things work together for good baby, but loved reading your story here. Thanks for sharing and voting up and sharing too.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Escobana: Thanks for the feedback. This one means a lot to me - obviously. Glad to read yours too. Watch for my comments.

    • Escobana profile image

      Escobana 6 years ago from Valencia

      Beautiful and heartwarming story! Isn't it great to see time passing by this way? Your son now married but once that small little baby.

      I love the positive vibe through your story. The title is very atractive!

      Voted up, beautiful, awesome and interesting:-)

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      prektjr.dc We still see those sweet babies in our adult children, don't we mothers? I had no idea how common miscarriages were until I experienced one. It's not the kind of thing women tell you until it happens to you. Congratulations on your son's success. What a blessing.

    • prektjr.dc profile image

      Debbie Carey 6 years ago from Riverton, KS, USA

      Kathleen,

      I too have a "surprise" son just like yours following a miscarriage! He was the delight of my heart as a child and is now my pride and joy! He recently moved into his own home and I miss him terribly and rejoice at his prosperity all at the same time! Thanks for sharing this sweet moment with us! Voted up and beautiful!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      creativelycc, PeanutButterWine,and JeniferRW: Great to attract so many enthsiastic readers with one hub! Weddings strike a cord I guess. Thanks for the comments and for following my work. I'm still up to my neck in wedding clean up - but will definitely read your hubs too ASAP!

    • creativelycc profile image

      Carrie L. Cronkite 6 years ago from Maine

      Congratulations to you and your son, beautiful story!

    • PeanutButterWine profile image

      PeanutButterWine 6 years ago from North Vancouver, B.C. Canada

      You brought me to tears, literally! Beautiful story... So well written, you pulled me right in. Thank you for sharing it.

    • JeniferRW profile image

      Jen 6 years ago from Couch

      What a beautiful hub! I'm so glad you posted this. It's amazing how thing sometimes just 'work out' regardless of how we plan them. God does have a bigger plan in the end. I keep trying to do it 'my way' lol, but that never seems to really work out how I plan. I voted up/awesome/beautiful/interesting/useful, thanks for posting this awesome story I'm so happy everything worked out so well for you and your family. :)

    • profile image

      CathyG 6 years ago

      Know you are so proud! Now for a girls weekend to hear all about it!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image
      Author

      Kathleen Cochran 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Thank you ThePracticalMommy and phdast7! Welcome to my hubs Cousin Fudd!!! It was a wonderful wedding weekend to stir up memories and celebrate!

    • ThePracticalMommy profile image

      Marissa 6 years ago from United States

      What a beautiful story! Congratulations to your son on his new marriage, and many blessings to your family. :)

    • profile image

      Cousin Fudd 6 years ago

      Sweet!

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Touching and lovely. So glad things turned out well.

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