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Being an At Home Dad When Roles Are Reversed

Updated on September 18, 2009

When The Roles Are Reversed

For generations men have defined ourselves by being the providers for our families, bringing home the bacon was how we knew we were doing a good job at being a father and husband. But in these economic times men have found themselves out of work and having the role of provider stripped out from under us. Our wives who once provided the extra income to provide the wants in life are now the providers of our needs and as a father myself I know what a blow to the male ego this is. We are told from childhood to “be a man, suck it up, stick in there, get-er-done…” but what do we do when you just can’t find work or when the type of work will only let you break even financially but put more strain on your family?

I have found that if I have to put my kids into daycare and take a minimum wage job that it pretty much cancels out the extra income from what I’d be making if I was back at work and the only difference would be that my kids would be taken care of by someone else. The extra hundred dollars a month that I would earn wouldn’t be enough for me to make that choice at this time. So now here I am, an at home dad. So now I have to take on the role as home-maker… and to all those women out there that takes care of the home or has been full time moms and home-makers… (GOD BLESS YOU!) You are the true heroes of a family.

Mr. Mom Clip

For Guys Like Me

I am writing this for men like myself, men who never thought they’d be in this position and I hope that some of this information will help them plan out their day and make life for them a little easier.

I never thought about what it took for a home-maker to make a home livable, I was one of those guys that thought “Sheesh why does she complain, all she does is sit at home all day!” But now I think differently. From picking up after kids, running daily errands, paying bills, and doctor’s appointments… a home-makers day can be filled from morning till night with responsibilities.

My Daily Tasks:

  • Waking up to change diapers, get my baby dressed, feed her, and then finding educational entertainment for her.
  • Making sure my eleven year old son eats breakfast and is doing his morning chores.
  • Cleaning up the morning toys and breakfast mess before lunch.
  • Making lunch for the wife and kids.
  • Cleaning up from lunch and finishing things like dishes, folding clothes all while taking care of the baby.
  • Making sure that all my son’s chores are done before he goes outside to play.
  • Making calls to doctors, or getting other calls done before errands are run.
  • Errands like going to the store, or to the doctors.
  • Getting ready for dinner and having it ready for when the wife gets home.

Tips On How To Make Your Life Easier:

  1. Make sure that you have your days planned out, try not to do everything all at once. Pace yourself, you have all week to get certain things done.
  2. Plan out a certain thing you want to get done and do it on a certain day of the week. Laundry and folding clothes or cleaning out cabinets and reorganizing, paying the bills. This will help you keep on task.
  3. Schedule appointments on the same day so that you can tier them through out the day and you won’t feel like you can’t other stuff done because you are constantly on the go.
  4. Try to do all your errands on the weekend so you aren’t bogged down with the kids getting them done during the week.
  5. Plan out dinners, this may sound hard to do but it isn’t… women plan out their shopping based around the mental dinner menus they have in their heads, you can do this too!
  6. If you have older kids, have them do their chores before they do anything else. They can also help clean and help watch the younger kids as well.

Just these simple things will help you plan your week and make life run a lot smoother. And guys one more thing… just because your wife works now doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about romance anymore. Never forget that you have a wonderful woman that is always there pulling her hundred percent as well. Love each other and all those hard times we go through in life will just be memories of the times you loved one another the most.


Mr. Mom, Dad pours baby's formula into his coffee when out of creamer.
Mr. Mom, Dad pours baby's formula into his coffee when out of creamer.

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