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Back in Time: Allusion

Updated on October 12, 2012

Night terrors are a traumatic experience to say the least. The mirage in our mind's eye doesn’t make it any less real. They carry a punch that’ll knock you disparately senseless; desperately gasping in search for air. As I attended to my son’s convalescence to this condition, I felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I’m sure my wife felt the debilitating vulnerability as well. He was falling apart before our eyes;suffocating before my eyes; suffering from self inflicted damages survivors eventually embrace over time.

Before long Kevin would raise himself to sit upright, as the frozen washcloth warmed, leaving the remnants to streak eerily down his face. “Xanax?” he tentatively inquired with a qualifying lilt in his voice. “Can you form an entire sentence?” I staggered with my query. He nodded which prompted me to defer to my wife; “What do you think Jen, good idea the Xanax… or not so much?” She was at the ready, having consumed one as well, nodding as she handed me the object of our son’s affection, the remedy if you will.

Giving pills to anyone deemed having an addictive personality is a really bad idea. That’s why I always keep a healthy supply of St. Joseph aspirin on hand; for those times when you may think you need a hand from ‘mother’s little helper,’ but a placebo will do the trick. I extended my cupped hand to the ‘sick bay’ patient, as he reached for the miracle cure. I closed my hand in typical fashion to pause for the cause, to deliver a lecture on my distain for pills…The hypocrisy of the sermon I was about to deliver gave me pause for the quandary I recognized it to be.

“This is not the solution toward your problem son; actually it’s the problem toward many solutions. I’ll spare you the lecture for now; except to say; not a big fan of pills Kevin, not a fan at all.” I extended my hand offering him the pill I cradled adding, “Do you want to talk about it, the dream or…” Kevin retorted “I just wanna sleep is all,” popping the ‘Big Pharma’ emancipation sensation down his gullet; then requested another. God help us all.

He would be asleep in less than an hour. I wouldn’t sleep a wink as I pondered and peered at my boy. Kevin would need to talk with someone; a professional. Some wounds heal in time, only to remind us by the visible scar left behind. My concern was the wounds which paint no visible scar; the ones which warriors carry around for their ihaunted abridged lives. Still the lingering question of hypocrisy preoccupied me. The phrase which encapsulated my thoughts persisted, ‘if one makes me feel good, two will make me feel better’.

At times, as parents, we think we are so clever; big mistake! This trial by error parenting made me who I am today. I often wondered if there was a parenting test, whom and how many would make the grade. I then realized my mind had gone off on a tangent of internal conflict; A departure from my primary focus. In times like these I had come to realize it was best to let it run its course. The alternative was pointless.

My casual lecture on the danger of dependency was merely a grand illusion. My actions had spoke volumes in contrast with my words. I fell into the trap which states a legal drug is acceptable over an illegal drug, that very notion is ‘just someone else’s fantasy’. The prey is systematically penalized by using ‘the consequences of breaking the law’ rationale; thereby transforming ‘criminals’ into productive members of society via funding of your Industrial Penal System. The entrepreneurs on the street corner and the doctor in the white lab coat both have comparative incentive to be drug dealers. The illusion in itself was an allusion


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    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona


      If only a parental handbook existed to deal with the issues of our time. I give thanks for the forum to discuss those very isuues and appreciate your participation. Its the long overdue conversation we need to have as a nation.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      Thank you for adding context to the subject matter of the storyline sligobay.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      6 years ago from New York

      So many sides to the coin and you have pointed them out well. What is right and what is wrong? Who is to really know the answers?

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • sligobay profile image


      6 years ago from east of the equator

      The pharmaceutical industry has breached our trust. "Excederin Headache" number 2,012 has the world addicted to pain medication for relief of every symptom. "Shift disorder" is the creation of a new malady in order to sell a new pill to those most susceptible to the impression of advertising.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona


      Thank you for your kind words and comments.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      Thrilling to read. Our society today is dependent upon meds to get them through recovery and just life in general. Sadly, there are too many drugs available for easy administration an usage.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona


      thanks for your comments. I believe your point of view suggested a moralistic component not shared by the street dealer... if so agreed.

      The next hub in the series is 'Altruism'. Its a continuation of 'Allusion'. I'm leaving the latest hub 'Altruism' up temporarily for initial feedback.

      Thank you for your kind words.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 

      6 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

      This is a very interesting write, I guess the obvious difference between the so called entrepreneur, and the doctor is that one is well meaning while the other is only interested in making money. Although, in some cases, the drug companies do pass on incentives to doctors to promote their products.

      All medication have side effect. Prescribed or not, and there lies the illusion between what is legal and what's illegal. Very though provoking.

    • gjfalcone profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona


      Thanks for your kind comment, for your vote of confidence and for sharing.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 

      6 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      A very powerful message, gjfalcone! And nicely presented. Voted up and sharing.


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