Behavior Modification Programs for Kids

Identify the behaviors you want to change. Examples include lying, hitting, refusing to follow directions, leaving things lying around, or arguing. Generally you want to start with one to two behaviors because this will help your child stay focused and will allow you to monitor them more closely. Remember that this can also be something that your child is not doing and that you would like to see him or her start doing.

Identify the behavior you want to see. For instance, if your behavior to change is arguing, you need to decide what you would like your child to do instead of arguing. Options might include accepting a decision, negotiating with a sibling, or walking away from the situation. The behavior you want to see (the replacement behavior) is going to be very specific depending on what the context of the arguing is (with parents, with siblings, etc.).

Make your plan. Sit down with your child (if you can) and talk about what you see and what you want to change. Discuss rewards and consequences. Talk about options to change the behavior as well as about reasons why you want the behavior changed. Letting your child know what you are looking for, and that there are rewards for the new behavior, encourages him or her to pay closer attention to what's going on.

Draw attention and correct. When the target behavior (the one you want to change) occurs, draw attention to it. This could be something as simple as pointing out that the behavior is occurring, or may be more subtle or complicated, depending on what you feel your child will respond to. This is going to depend on your plan that you have set with your child. Make sure you also give your child a chance to correct the behavior. If your behavior to increase is cleaning up, you can say something like, "I see a toy out where it doesn't belong." Then wait to see if your child picks up the toy or if you need to tell him or her to pick it up and put it away.

Enter rewards and consequences. Using the example from above, if your child picks up the toy without you having to give the instruction, you can provide praise or reinforcement. If your child waits for the instruction, simply say, "Try to pay closer attention. Maybe next time I won't have to tell you and you can earn your reward." This lets your child know that even though he or she won't get the reward, neither is there going to be a consequence. However, if you prompt and give the instruction, and your child still does not pick up the toy, implement a consequence. Say, "I gave you a hint and then told you what to do, and you still didn't pick up your toy. I think you need to....." Make sure you avoid telling your child that you are "giving" a consequence. This isn't an arbitrary decision on your part. The consequence is coming because of your child... try telling your child he or she "earned" the consequence.

Tips & Warnings

· Try to find rewards and consequences that don't cost you anything. Things like special time with you, staying up a few minutes late, or a tangible reward like bubbles, stickers, or a piece of candy are all things that can be given frequently and aren't going to empty your pockets. Some good consequences include time out, a extra chore around the house, and going to bed early.

· When talking to your child, be enthusiastic about rewards. Let your child know that this is a great thing and that you're proud he or she earned it.

· Keep your voice calm during consequences and correcting your child. Yelling and getting upset cause your child to "tune out", and then you lose the chance to teach a lesson.