Being a Good Sibling

You have a child, with another on the way. You've got everything set and ready to go. Baby's name is picked out, baby has clothes, diapers and even it's own theme song. But then it hits you...

How is my first child going to react to my newborn? This important question is one that new parents may agonize over, or may give no more than a fleeting thought. It is important that it gets answered though, either way.

A child is very sensitive, especially to changes in the family dynamic. Up until the new baby comes home, the concept of the family being any more than "mommy, daddy and me" may be hard for your firstborn to swallow.

So, prior to going out and picking everything your new baby needs, how about sitting down with your child and talking about the new member of the family? Start by asking questions to gauge your child's reaction. Ask questions like:

• Would you like a little brother or sister to play with?
• Can mommy give you a little brother or sister?

While this may sound like you're giving the choice of having a baby to your current young'un, you set up the foundation for gaining your child's trust in you, as well as putting a positive light on the new baby's arrival in his or her life. Most children will be happy to have someone else to play with, and if you put it in those terms you give your child something to look forward to.

Depending on how old your first child is, they can be a true asset in preparing for your new baby. If they're young enough, you've likely still got all their old baby clothing and toys, which is great and will save you money in the long run. Let's be practical, people reuse old baby stuff.

If your child is a little older, they can help mommy and daddy move things in to the new baby's space. Your child can also help daddy practice for that harrowing time when mommy is about to have her baby and you're all riding to the hospital.

Make sure you include your child in on anything they can reasonably help with while you get yourselves and your home ready for the bundle of joy.

You've had the baby, and now you're home resting while you can and adjusting to your new life. It is easy for a lot of the attention in your household to divert to the baby, but please remember to include your older child in everything when possible. Remind your family to do so as well, so if the baby gets a card, have your family and friends address the card to the older child AND the baby. Then, if your older one is reading already, have them read the card to the baby.

Turn every day activities into a reason for your older child to get hands-on with their sibling. Now is a good time to teach your child to be gentle, loving and caring for the baby.

Now, the unavoidable truth is that your older child will experience plenty of moments of upset and jealousy. Try and take these in stride and keep in mind that your older child's world has been turned upside down. Hopefully, by this point, you've helped them to understand and recognize that they are just as important as their sibling.

Properly preparing your child for a new sibling is every bit as important as getting a crib set up, stocking up on cleaning supplies, or emailing the news to every member of your close and distant family. Please take the time to involve your child in each step of the way, and share the love. A new child multiplies the love in your household, not divides.

As your children grow together, keep them involved in one another's lives by coordinating playtime for them, rewarding kind and sharing behaviors, and spending time together as a whole family unit. Beyond that, let your children bond as they will. Over the years, your children will form a bond on their own, and with your help they'll interact kindly from the very beginning.