- Family and Parenting
Big Families should we still have them?
What do parents with big families look like to the outside world? Probably insane. Living just for oneself is but a distant memory for the parent of a big family as the demands of the future keep making their presence felt on not just your time but on everything you do.
Parents of big families are really busy, don't get time to scratch themselves and are always asking questions like: am I achieving what I need to do to respond to, feed, cloth, shelter and keep these future citizens of the world healthy and emotionally resilient?
Meanwhile, others might look upon parents of big families as if he or she is possessed. Perhaps they wondering why you drop out...unexpectedly. Why is he or she acting that way? It's not malicious even though silence so often seems that way - like a sin of omission - what he or she does NOT DO!
Why doesn't he accept my invite? Why is she ignoring me? Why is that baby crying and he doesn't seem to respond? Why is he or she always making excuses when I've gone out of my way to invite and engage this person who expressed interested but doesn't seem to be following through strangely?
(Nappy changing for the 1 trillionth time goes on in the background!)
Parents with big families must appear rude sometimes to the outside world but if you are running a big family you are constantly being forced to keep it real -
can't make time for that,
that's wasting my time,
that's far too idealistic,
that's not practical enough,
that's too hot to handle,
I can't afford the time for that,
I started something I can't finish,
SORRY in advance my intentions were good,
I must appear callous,
I'm have to keep it real,
Oh my this person has no idea what I mean,
In and out of contact,
I must appear rude,
SORRY in advance....
Especially when one begins to realize what you are doing is difficult to comprehend for others who have no similar reference - i.e. no experience of the big family situation...
An awareness of family-mindedness develops.
At the best of times, people don't understand each other unless they have had a similar experience - that's just something we have to accept. Yes?
People listen but they don't necessarily HEAR,
It's not their fault nor yours - the way it is.