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Big Families should we still have them?

Updated on June 30, 2011

What do parents with big families look like to the outside world? Probably insane. Living just for oneself is but a distant memory for the parent of a big family as the demands of the future keep making their presence felt on not just your time but on everything you do.

Parents of big families are really busy, don't get time to scratch themselves and are always asking questions like: am I achieving what I need to do to respond to, feed, cloth, shelter and keep these future citizens of the world healthy and emotionally resilient?

Meanwhile, others might look upon parents of big families as if he or she is possessed. Perhaps they wondering why you drop out...unexpectedly. Why is he or she acting that way? It's not malicious even though silence so often seems that way - like a sin of omission - what he or she does NOT DO!

Why doesn't he accept my invite? Why is she ignoring me? Why is that baby crying and he doesn't seem to respond? Why is he or she always making excuses when I've gone out of my way to invite and engage this person who expressed interested but doesn't seem to be following through strangely?

(Nappy changing for the 1 trillionth time goes on in the background!)

Parents with big families must appear rude sometimes to the outside world but if you are running a big family you are constantly being forced to keep it real -

can't make time for that,

that's wasting my time,

that's far too idealistic,

that's not practical enough,

that's too hot to handle,

I can't afford the time for that,

I started something I can't finish,

SORRY in advance my intentions were good,

I must appear callous,

I'm have to keep it real,

Oh my this person has no idea what I mean,

In and out of contact,

chequered contact,

I must appear rude,

SORRY in advance....

Especially when one begins to realize what you are doing is difficult to comprehend for others who have no similar reference - i.e. no experience of the big family situation...

An awareness of family-mindedness develops.

At the best of times, people don't understand each other unless they have had a similar experience - that's just something we have to accept. Yes?

People listen but they don't necessarily HEAR,

It's not their fault nor yours - the way it is.


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    • profile imageAUTHOR 

      7 years ago

      Thanks James but I find an ironic twist in your statement. If it is proven that intelligent creative successful people have the least children is that because one is thinking only of me,me,me, not caring about the future and making sure kids dont hamper one's style!?LOL

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      7 years ago from Chicago

      If you have a married couple who are committed to each other for life—the true meaning of love—it is great for them to have lots of children. We need solid citizens to balance out the mouth-breathers. In fact, the most intelligent, creative, successful people usually have the least children. And it is proven that intelligent, creative, successful people reproduce more of the same (more often than not). Multiply that out over fifty years and you can see how we got here from there. Solid people who have a lot of children are leaving the world a better place. They care about posterity. People who do not have children as often as not only care about themselves—life is all about me, me, me—kids hamper their style. When a nation no longer cares deeply about the future, a nation is doomed. Thank you.

    • profile imageAUTHOR 

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the comment Lady_E - quality time as you say requires time - time has to be made for it so kids don't feel neglected and grow up with hang-ups and insecurities. One cant really blame kids for not understanding what parents have to do to bring them up!

    • Lady_E profile image


      7 years ago from London, UK

      Interesting Hub. I don't think we should have big families any more. Economies are getting bad so people can't afford it and for those who are rich, I doubt they have Quality time to spend with the kids. They are too busy trying to make ends meet.

    • profile imageAUTHOR 

      7 years ago

      It is the same in Australia drbj but it applies to the parent who cares for the children.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      7 years ago from south Florida

      It's the way it is in the U.S.A., psychic buddy, because there is a dandy little entitlement program called 'Aid to Dependent Families' which rewards parents with substantial payments for having more children (as long as the baby daddies don't live at home).


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