- Family and Parenting
Big Family: The Pros and Cons
"Are you guys and Army? Hahaha!" "How do you all live together in one house?" These are just some of the things I heard from people when I was at school and college. It did burden me a little especially during my time at secondary school. I know I could've avoid bringing up how many brothers and sisters I have but I just thought to that at least some people will not be saying hurtful and pathetic words. Meh, I guess I was too optimistic!
As a young teenager, back then, I started to feel so insecure about the issue and would never dare to tell anyone apart from close friends. Whenever the topic 'How many people are there in your family?' is brought up, I would immediately feel nervous and start cringing. My body language can easily be determined that I am uncomfortable talking about it. This made me sometimes think 'why did my parents decide to have us all? There's too many of us!" I even blurted out some mean and cruel words to my mother, of course I feel so bad for being so childish and overreacting in that bad manner.
As a family, it seemed like we were already split; everyone seemed to have started to build his/her own territory. May not make sense but simply put, everyone put out rules of who they can talk to and who they won't. As I starting growing up, I felt really depressed and hated being at home because the whole atmosphere is not right. I kept thinking to myself "why can't he/she talk to him/her? Aren't we siblings? Is this how families are? Is it normal? Am I over exaggerating things?" I started asking my friends and colleagues about how their family life is and visited their houses quite often to witness with my own eyes how their families interact with one another. To be honest, at the time, I really wished I'd never discovered how stable and 'normal' their families were. Yes conflicts do arise every now and then but they are still close and talk to each other, whilst out family is the opposite. I can accept and tolerate arguments and conflicts but completely ignoring and not talking to your sibling/s for years is what makes me feel uneasy and so upset.
To sum it up, the negatives of being part of a large family are, personality clashes, more conflicts, cannot fit into one car together, cannot go to certain places as a whole, lots of comparisons with one another (just imagine being compared with 3 to 4 of your siblings, sometimes more) and there's probably more but I can't think of them right now. Hope I outlined the main cons of my own personal experiences and life being part of a large family.
"Aw, you guys must have so much fun being together with so many of you. I am honestly jealous." "Your house is always full and lively. I mean, the more the merrier. You're lucky!" Some of the uplifting and nice words I once heard from neighbours and colleagues when I was younger.
I felt like I was in a better position compare to those who have no siblings (only child). I was happy that I had a lot to ask and to speak about to more than one person living together and understand each other much better than anyone else. I can learn many things from all of my siblings, I can adapt to different personalities, have better understanding of different interest and how to communicate with others, ask for opinions from all of my siblings and so on. It's nice to have more than one person to talk to and share interest as well as opinions. We can discuss on different levels and learn skills from one another. Honestly, it's not a bad thing to be part of a big family afterall.
If I ever needed something I know that at least 2 people will help me out. If I ever wanted someone to go out with me somewhere, I know I won't be rejected by everyone because there's always going to be at least someone will join me. I mean, It's fun going out with all my sisters to different places and have a nice chat especially if your friends turn you down because they're busy etc. Also, I enjoy talking to my brothers because I find them interesting. I always look forward to their discussions and their interesting talks. Of course they talk about football/soccer, gaming etc. I sometimes join them because I like to have an insight of how guys are in general so I can better understand how guy colleagues think or behave and how to talk to them in a more open manner. It's fun! I often love it when I ask my brothers of how certain outfits look on me, what looks better on me, do guys in general like this on girls or do guys prefer this type of girl etc. It really is a positive thing to be honest. What I love the most about my brothers is that they are honest to the point that it can be misunderstood as being harsh, but I love their honesty. I am glad I have a good share of brothers and sisters because it really helped me better understand the differences of how girls behave and how different guys behave too. Very intriguing.
I love all my siblings and thank my parents for having that many of us...except I am glad that there's already enough of us, so it's good mum didn't go for even more! xD And to those who are part of a big family, I would like to tell you that it can always be a good thing if we look at the positive side of it. Nothing is perfect but focusing on the good side of things will make us happier. Let's treasure and be thankful that we have the opportunity to live with many people of the same blood who care for you and love you. It's not that bad at all.