How to Identify Bully in a Romantic Relationship

Bullying does not only happen to children or only on the playground; you will be amazed at how many adults endure bullying either at the workplace or at home. It does only involve a physical attack, which might be common with children. But a lot of adults also experience bullying emotionally. It is pathetic to know that partners who claimed to love, bully each other as well. Bullies in a relationship can either be the man or the woman depending on who is holding the short end of the stick.

A friend, Laura spoke to me about how she was being bullied by her husband. Laura was a junior marketing executive who could not meet targets because of the pressure involved in raising her young children, as they could not afford house help to assist with chores and the children. Laura lost her job, consequential to childbearing. Instead of the husband to appreciate the toll of this biological event on his wife and her career, he chose to run her down with his mouth and actions. This is just the case with Laura but it is the reverse in some relationships, meaning that men are also bullied by the women.

They have a sense of Inadequacy:

Most Bullies are weak-minded individuals seeking whom to exert control and dominance. Some of them have a sense of inadequacy and tries to make up for it by bullying their partners. I know a man who was lucky enough to marry a decent and very intelligent Lady. The relationship was going smooth until the guy saw how inadequate he is Knowledge wise. He started by making the girl think and feel she is not as smart as she thought, and progressed to looking for ways to run down her ideas and opinions, because to him that’s the only way to exercise control in the relationship, by making the girl feel what he is feeling, “Inadequate.”

They are Emotionally Immature:

Maturity has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the mind and perception of an individual. This depends on training received and values impacted growing up. A person who grew up with a bullying father or mother is likely going to grow up as such if conscious efforts are not made on his or her part to do better.

They have Self accrued Importance (Oversized Ego):

People who attached unnecessary importance to themselves and view others as less important are likely to be bullies. A partner who feels as a breadwinner, there is liberty talk down her spouse falls under this category. Forgetting that life is like an ocean tide, rising and falling with the current.

Emotional Bullying can metamorphose into physical Bullying, which eventually degenerates violence in a relationship. I have heard some Men say can never raise my hand to a woman, I can only talk. These categories of men fail to understand that abusive words can inflict pain more than physical attacks sometimes. There is no much of a difference between abusing with words or with muscles.

Intimidation: Bullied individuals feel intimidated and fearful to explore or launch out, they are confined

Loss of Self worth: Self-worth is the value placed on self. Bully victims feel unwanted and unloved and are robbed of their self-value.

Loss of Confidence: Victims lose confidence in their ability and personality

Depression: Bullying can definitely lead to depression.

Acceptance: Bullied or violated individual feels the need to make excuse for their partners in a relationship. They tend to live in denial. The first step to being free is to accept oneself as the victim.

Stand up for you: Victims should take responsibility for themselves by finding their own feet and stand up for themselves in the relationship.

Be dependent: Take control of your own life, exercise authority

Take Action: Report bullies to appropriate authorities.

Bully in a family relationship can be Father, Mother, Sister or any blood relation. Any normal family relationship should not involve bullying, but in exceptional cases where such happens, the best way of dealing is to ostracize.