Cafe' Talk: Family Matters

"None but a mule denies his family"~ Moroccan Proverbs

When we were young, we were taught the importance of a family. As we grow older, some of us may have a change of direction, visions and beliefs and at times, even our values towards our own family may change. We run hither and yon and the influence of the society changed us. Our stubbornness and the desire to fit in our society made us forget the good morals and the values we were once taught. We sometimes get carried away with some evil desires and go further away to pursue it. Then we developed a thick skin to ignore or turn our back from the people who taught us the good values in life-our family. So, what happened to the once inseparable and close-knit family we used to belong? We became so distant and eventually the family closeness drifted apart.

So, hello stranger! Are we really living in a donkey’s year now that family matter doesn’t really matter anymore? As grown ups, how important is your family to you? More specifically, are your aging parents included in your plan? How close or distant are you with your own family?

I was once sitting in a coffee shop and overheard this very interesting conversation:

Elderly guy: Recognizing the thick Chinese accent of the girls next to his table, asked: “Didn’t mean to interrupt, but you girls are from China?”

Girls from the round table: “Yes”

Elderly guy: “Oh, I was in China last year with my wife and we very much enjoyed it there. You students here, eh?”

Girls from the round table: Looking at each other, “Yes”

Elderly guy: Good, which university?

Girls from China: “Oh, we are still preparing for university. We are here for the English language course and then we plan to go the University of Toronto.”

Elderly guy: “Oh, that’s good. I heard you speaking and I say, you speak good English.”

Girls from the round table: “Oh, thank you. Our teacher is good. We are going for ESL.”

Elderly guy: “You know I, uh, visited four provinces in China last year with my, uh wife. It’s beautiful. We learnt a lot during the guided tour on China’s rich culture and traditions. In China, you have very close family ties. That is great. We love the way you treat your elders. Unlike here in Canada, when you get old like me, your children will keep you in the home for the aged.” Sips his coffee and continue. “In China, you have a very close family tie that is great (repeats himself again). There is no elderly care home. The elders take care of the young ones and the young ones in return will look after the elders. Here, children leave their parents home to be with strangers or uh, with their friends and we’re left to fend for ourselves.” Sips his coffee again, halt and on with his talk. “They don’t call you or check on you.” Catches his breath and continues. “Because they are busy with their own life. They easily forget their parents and the family where they came from (sigh). It is sad." Sips his coffee again. "Chinese people are very supportive of each other members of the family and that’s very admirable.”

Girls from the round table: “Blushing and looking at each other in dazed and speechless…”huh?”

Elderly guy: “So, what do you plan to do when you finish your education here in Canada?”

Girls from the round table:

Girl 1. “I am going back to China, so I could help my father with our family business.”

Girl 2. “I am going back to China too but I want to come back here to work, then I will get my parents to join me here.”

Obviously new in Canada and may not know everything yet about its’ culture, the Chinese girls were astonished and kind of speechless. I left before I could finish the entire conversation but I guess the latter part of it says it well enough to conclude my (unintentional) eavesdropping: both of them would like to be reunited with their families especially with their parents whether in China or in Canada. Indeed, a close relationship is filled with dignity, protectiveness and respect. A close family tie is a moral obligation not a hindrance to progress.

From cradle to grave, in childhood, youth and adulthood, your family is your rock of support and security. It is the hearth to which you will return, however far you wander. You may have other bonds with other people in the course of your life and may swear allegiance to them, but the foundation of your strivings is first and foremost your family and to quote:

So, what about you? Have you given love and attention to your own family or have you abandoned them in pursuit of your own selfish desire? How do you keep a relationship with your siblings? How do you plan to take care of your elderly parents or are they even part of your plan?

Let me hear from you on the comment box below and thank you for your feedback.

Copyright@CrisSp~TM/03/18/12 - ""The heart of my soul speaks to the soul of my heart by writing." ~