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Children: Going Through A Phase

Updated on May 9, 2012
Parenting | Source

Raising children is never an easy task. At the best of times they can be angels and at the worst horrible terrors that bear little resemblence to what you are trying to teach them. Often times when children are fixated or otherwise on to something that seems quite a bit unusual for them they are said to be "going through phase." Parent fears cause them to wonder if it is something that will change with time and that this "phase," will pass and better more normal behavior will return or if they are stuck with the new behavior.

I know myself as a father I have seen many sides of my daughter. Once we received a call from one of her friend's mothers she told us that her son had come home with a silver coin and that our daughter had given it to him. The coin in question was actually one of my coins from a collection I keep and had been showing her. We advised his mom that we didn't know she had taken it but if he could bring it back with him the next day so we could get it back we would appreciate that. She was understanding about it and said she would make sure he brought it.

We realized that our daughter had stolen the coin and lied to her friend and told him we said it was alright with us that she gave it to him. To be quite honest I was very disappointed in her. But decided that when she came through the door after school that we would not say anything at first. We would give her a chance to come clean, to do the right thing. We casually told her that I couldn't find one of my coins and asked her if she had seen it. She responded with a no. So we asked her if she had taken it to school and she again lied and said no. So we bluntly asked if she had taken it and given it to a boy at school to which she said no. We were pretty angry by this point and she was punished. We had never known her to be a thief, a liar and that she would lie and lie even when faced with the obvious truth that we knew what she'd done.

Another instance I recall involved our cat. We trained our cat very well and she would never climb unto our table or coffee table, she wouldn't even think of it. But for some reason we started catching our cat on the table. I would give the cat a swat and she would jump down and go back to her bed. After this happened several times we became a little suspicious and my wife caught our daughter picking up the cat and putting her on the table. She was doing it on purpose as she was taking some form of amusement from seeing the cat get punished for it. Suffice to say again she was punished, and we gave our cat a lot of treats.

In both instances our daughter was a shadow of the great person we felt she was and it took quite a few talks with her for us all to get past it. But one thing I think parents need to keep in mind is that these are rarities in the grand scheme of things. If the good outweighs the bad your on the right track. Also if the phase they are going through is a fixation with a movie, cartoons, comics or even moodiness for that matter this is normal, this will change as the discover themselves and find their place in the world. All you can do is be there give them the best of yourself and hope for the best.

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    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      tillsontitan - thanks for the support.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Seems you are on the right track with parenthood. It is never easy to deal with the 'unpleasant' things our kids decided to try or go through, through no real fault of their own. Love, support and firm beliefs lead them and your love and guidance are just what is needed.

      Voted up.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      Dee aka Nonna - that is very true we do discover who we are when our parental abilities are tested.

    • Dee aka Nonna profile image

      Dee aka Nonna 5 years ago

      As parents, as they discover themselves we discover who we are as well. Riasing children is a very tough but very rewarding job. I commend you for the way you handled your daughter...Voted up and beautiful.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      Becky Katz - words of wisdom, very very true. Kids are a handful but totally worth it.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I believe that we have all gone through times like these. They have to push our buttons and the boundaries to see how far we will let them go. Getting through them usually takes discipline and perseverance. Then we can look back, years later and laugh about them.

    • terrektwo profile image

      Candle Hour 5 years ago from North America

      teaches12345 - you are right :) My daughter and kitty learned to be great friends since that point.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      children do go through many phases, some more concerning than others. If we are prepared for those times, then we can help children (and parent) to get through much easier. Thanks for sharing. Your daugher and the cat story is amusing.