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Dealing with Your Child’s Tantrum Without Driving Yourself Nuts

Updated on August 21, 2020

If only babies would remain babies forever. Their adorable cooing, toothless smiles, and the addicting smell of their breath can make motherhood all worth it.

But we all know too well that infancy bliss only lasts for a short time. The next thing you know, you are now raising a rather… interesting toddler.

Raising one is like walking in an area full of landmines. One moment they will make your heart melt. Several minutes later, you are so close to having your own meltdown.

No matter what kind of parenting strategy you have, keep this mantra in mind: You’re doing a great job! In case no one warned you yet, parenting a toddler will be anything but easy. But whether you admit it or not, you will miss their antics as they grow up into adolescence and become full-fledged adults later on.

Why kids tend to have tantrums

For one thing, a child throwing a tantrum can be a stressful moment, especially for parents. You might want to disappear from the face of the earth once your little one starts to throw a fit elsewhere public.

Some people might give you the eye and judge your parenting skills in their heads. You might not help but question your own parenting skills. However, this should not be the case.

First of all, you should not too hard on yourself. Kids can be unpredictable most of the time. Your life as a parent would not be complete without dealing with a grumpy toddler. And remember, you’ve been a toddler too at one point in your life.

You might have been a source of headache to your own parents back then. These parenting mishaps will become funny anecdotes that you and your child will look back and have a good laugh at later on.

So let’s go back to tantrums. Why do children tend to throw tantrums anyway? A tantrum occurs when a child experiences disappointment and frustration over unmet desires or needs. Such overwhelming emotions can lead to bursts of anger through screaming, throwing things, or even self-harm.

Tantrums often occur during toddlerhood -- around ages two to four – when they are starting to discover new things. Being naturally curious, little children like to explore more into the unknown. But instead, all they hear is “stop!”, “don’t touch that!”, and other sorts of warnings.

Their vocabulary isn’t developed yet, which makes communication frustrating on their part. They are not yet aware of the implications of their actions and so kids tend to get it in any way they can. Hence, the inevitable tantrum episodes.

Avoiding tantrums

If your little one tends to throw tantrums here and there, do note that it is a normal part of childhood. It can be a nasty episode every time, but this is just a phase your child will grow out. In the meantime, here are some tips that can help deal with your toddler’s tantrums.

  • Avoid taking total control over their choices. For example, let them choose what juice flavor to drink or pajamas to wear at bedtime. It gives them a sense of authority over their decisions and actions.
  • Keep hazardous objects away from your child’s reach. Small children tend to be naturally curious but make sure it won’t be at the expense of their safety.
  • When a tantrum occurs, try distracting your child. Say, invite your child for ice cream or go somewhere else where he or she can play.
  • Praise your child for good deeds they do. If they put their toys back to their respective containers or ate that broccoli, acknowledge it. After all, kids love being appreciated and being a center of attention.

A journey worth taking

Parenthood is a roller-coaster ride. It can be frustrating sometimes but is definitely a fulfilling one. But sometimes, we as parents can be busy with work and be able to provide for our families. You might want to consider hiring a qualified nanny to help with child care.

Babies won’t remain adorable babies forever. They grow up too fast, you might not be able to catch up. That is why you should make the most out of their childhood. At the end of the day, all children deserve a wonderful childhood. And parents are the first people in their lives who should provide that.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Giselle R

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    • Giselle Rances profile imageAUTHOR

      Giselle R 

      11 months ago from Philippines

      Hello Lifeaspezz! I do not have a tween myself, but I believe there are some possible reasons why tweens act that way.

      Assuming that your tween has only recently acting up, it might be an effect of the ongoing pandemic. In that case, we have to be extra understanding and patient with our children, especially during these uncertain times.

      Tweens today are way different from yesterday's tweens as we (the older ones) did not grow up alongside the Internet. And we all know how social media and the Internet, in general, can greatly influence what we feel. More so, with young children who aren't yet fully aware yet of managing their emotions.

      Another possible reason is that it can be a hormonal thing. How old is your daughter? Has she gotten her period already? It can be a major trigger as well.

      As mentioned, we as parents should know better. We've been children once. That said, it is best to put ourselves in their shoes. In my case, I am not fond of opening up to my parents back then. But I had a diary where I wrote all of my feelings and other thoughts there. It's supposed to be for my eyes only but unfortunately saw by my mom. Kinda embarrassing, but at least I was not the rebel type of child back then. I guess I was just good at hiding my feelings.

      You can also choose to ignore when she is having fits. Some parents did that and it apparently worked. Tough love, you could say that. Let her indulge in her dramatic episodes, then talk to her when she's calm and logical. Be consistent with that rule, so your child hopefully gets the idea. At the same time, assure your child that you are always there to help and to talk to when she needs one.

      Parenting is hard, and these tips can definitely help me in the future when my toddler grows older. Hope it does for you, too. :)

    • Lifeaspezz profile image

      Samantha Pezz 

      11 months ago from Queens NYC

      All of this was so true when my daughter was a toddler but now that shes a tween the tantrums and crying fits are insane! All of these once useful tactics are out the window. She'll force cry over almost anything and I'm at my wits end with it!! Any advice ?

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