- Family and Parenting
Description of my Father
Description of a father
I have a hard time writing a description of my father. I was told early in life that anyone can be a father but it takes a special person to be a Daddy. I don't know which I would call my father or Daddy.
I know the vital important things about him. When he was born and where; even if I have no idea where it is. I know that he served in the military as a combat medic. He drove OTR truck driving but if it is anything personal that is hard.
Most people can tell you the important things about the man who raised them. What their favorite color was? What they liked to do in their spare time? Me that is all impossible.
I didn't have a deadbeat Dad but because of his job he was never around. I would have a daughter/father event and he was out of town. I felt like he didn't care about me many times. Dad when I was very young, I could tell when he was coming home. Sometimes if he was gone for a long period of time; I would get sick and I would be ready to be put in the hospital and he would come home and I would be fine.
I suppose Dad was gone so much because he told me once that he didn't know how to deal with my mother. I tried to move out once and he told me that I couldn't because he didn't know how to deal with Mom. I often wondered why they didn't divorce. I could tell it sure wasn't a marriage because of love.
I remember one time that Dad and I were alone together when I was somewhere around six. He had taken me to the place where he worked. I got to look at his truck and just be with him. The guys he worked with were nice to me too.
I wasn't allowed to send much time with my Dad because strange as it sounds my mother was jealous. At about the age of twelve, Dad and I didn't do anything but fight when he was in town. My grandfather taught me how to use a screwdriver and hammer.
When I got a car and anything happened to it, it was usually my mother who had to help me with it. Dad and I just didn't seem to connect. My job was to take care of Mom.
In December of 2009, was when I learned a little more about my Dad. Mom had passed away. I had to do the cooking, cleaning and laundry and the like. Then my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. How do you get to know someone then? I took care of him at home for a year before he had a stroke and the doctor told me he had to be put in a home. I didn't have a clue how to live on my own. But for over a year I might as well have been two people. I had to take care of him when the home would call. I had to pay his bills and try to work as well.
Dad would call sometimes from the home at nine pm and he was about an hours drive away. He wanted to come home. He made me feel guilty when I told him no. I knew what his meds were and what he was allergic to and his illness' but anything else was so lost on me. The home asked me once what did he like to do? How do you answer that when you don't have a clue?
When I got married to my husband I think he knew more about my Dad then I did. When Dad acted up my husband knew how to get him to behave. Both were military so I think Dad knew to follow orders but I was glad that my burden was less.
I would advise anyone to try to learn more about the man they describe as Father. As I stated at the start anyone can be a Father but it takes a special person to be a Daddy.