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Did They Really Ask That? Questions for Parents of Multiples

Updated on August 22, 2011
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Parents of multiples understand that our children are of interest especially to those who have singletons.  Twins, triplets and more are simply intriguing however this does not mean that you can just ask any question you want to. Well of course you can ask anything but don’t expect an answer to all those crazy off the wall questions.  Hey we are people to and if you wouldn’t want the question asked of you then you should be smart enough not to ask it of someone else. Hey but I am sure that is asking way too much.

Some of the questions that my husband and I were asked about our triplets more often than any others were:

  1. Are They All Identical? I get this question all the time which is fine and I completely understand why it is asked because people are interested in knowing.  However when I say that one of them is a boy most do not understand what that means. Simply put twins cannot be identical if they are different sexes; they are then called fraternal twins.   Sometimes this needs even further explanation where I have to get somewhat graphic and say they cannot be identical because one has a penis and the other a vagina.  Then they usually think I am crazy and walk away.  Hopefully they get the picture by then. 
  2. Are You Sure They Are Triplets? – Now this has to be the most infuriating question and has caused the most arguments. I have actually been told that I did not know what I was talking about. Ummm I gave birth to them I think I know whether or not they are triplets.  Still I have heard every possible reason as to why they cannot be triplets.  “One looks bigger than the others.” “They don’t look alike.” “They are different colors.” Every reason in the world would not matter because again I was there and I should know.  I actually had one woman stomp away after asking calling me a liar.  Again not all multiples are identical.
  3. Did You Take Fertility Drugs?  - This has to be the most frequent question asked and I am guessing if you polled parents of multiples they would agree. Truly this question is controversial for most parents of multiples because about 50% of the parents have spontaneous births (multiples without the aid of drugs).  Some parents are really touchy about the subject and feel that it is nobody’s business mainly because there are many singleton parents who use fertility drugs yet they are not asked. Again I understand the interest of having a litter most people are used to have a single birth and anything more than that can peak interest. I do not mind personally being asked but it does get tiring when it is always asked over and over again. I once heard a multiple mother say “Who cares how they were conceived the important part is that they are here now.” and I agree completely with that logic.
  4. What Position Were You In When You Conceived Them? - Yes this question has been asked of us more than one time. Luckily my husband is quick on his feet and has had some pretty hilarious and shocking responses. Some of his responses were “What position were you and your wife in when you conceived your child” or he will contort himself in a position that is totally obscure and not conducive to having sex. Usually they look at him like he is crazy or maybe they are thinking is that possible.  Regardless that usually ends the conversation right then and there. Me personally I could not imagine asking my friend let alone a complete stranger off the street a question like that.
  5. How Do You Do It? – This is usually in reference to raising triplets.  I must admit it is not an easy job but then again raising children period is difficult.  Lucky for me and my husband we did not have another child first so there was nothing to compare it to.  Raising triplets is all that we know and we just do it because we are parents.  I figure that most parents are the same.  Again there are times that it is difficult but I am certain it is that way for all parents.  For example none of my children were colicky so I missed out on that and most parents have to suffer with a colicky baby at some time.  So the easiest way to answer this question is that I just do it because that is all I know.

Sometimes the questions are not that bad but the discussions that come from the questions can get really bizarre.  Like I said earlier I have gotten into arguments over my children and whether or not they are from the same father (I kid you not) or whether or not they were actually born at the same time.  And again I just have to say I was there and trust me it did happen.  No matter what my babies look like they are mine and they were all born on the same day and they are fraternal.

Fun Facts about Our Babies:

We have 1 boy 2 girls

Our babies weighed 3.3 pounds, 4.8 and 4.10 pounds

They were delivered at 33 ½ weeks

I delivered my first baby naturally and then the other two by C-Section.

 

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    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 8 years ago from West Coast

      afmlythtwantspece - Too funny. That seems to be a theme with parents of multiples. Sometimes I just say "Yeah you are right they aren't triplets" and walk away smiling.

    • Afmlythtwantspece profile image

      Afmlythtwantspece 8 years ago from usa

      This is a great article , i have twins and people are astonished when i tell them they are .Ya see mine are boy/ girl and they say they don't look alike i tell them there fraternal they say , again they don't look alike i say there boy/girl there not ..

    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      Marco - Thank you very much. I have to agree with you. I think that multiples are so interesting that people do forget themselves. I also think if people realized that they weren't the first person to ask the question that day it would make it easier lol. Don't worry you are not alone I hear from twin mothers all the time that their number one question when they have boy/girl twins is the identical question!!

    • marcofratelli profile image

      marcofratelli 9 years ago from Australia

      This an awesome hub. It answers a lot of the questions people usually have, because they are intrigued, but some of those questions really do invade your privacy. I guess people sometimes forget themselves. I must admit I've been a bit slow once, I asked if twins were identical right after being told one was a boy and the other was a girl! You must get it all the time, i felt like a twit! :)

    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      Dottie - Yes they do say the darndest things!! My hubby has a good sense of humor so it works well when people are off the wall. Yeah sometimes I want to squeeze my babies too (maybe in a a different way then you are thinking lol). Thank you so much.

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 9 years ago from MA, USA

      People say the darndest things! And I'm still laughing at your husbands response to question 4. I love the picture of your 3 babies, it makes me want to reach in and squeeze them! I enjoyed this hub. Thank you Triplets Mommy!

    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      fortunerep - Everyone asks them. They are very commonplace. A twin mom that I know had cards made up that she passed out with answers on them. It was hilarious. She would have them read the card before they asked their questions. No more questions asked. I completely understand that multiples are unique and understand the questioning although it can be difficult when you get them back-to-back, one person after another.

    • fortunerep profile image

      fortunerep 9 years ago from North Carolina

      I myself have asked such dumb questions, it is the only thing you can think of except, my god how do you do it? Great Hub and great pics, your triplets are beautiful.

    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      Now GT that is a great question! And yes they do. It was really weird when they were babies because they would be chattering with each other in something that sounded like Klingon but it would stop as soon as I walked in the room. For a few months I thought they were alien or something. It was a little spooky. Still to this day one will say something that sounds totally foreign to me and another one will "translate" for me. Truly weird.

      Love your new avatar by the way! Its way cool.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 9 years ago from Free and running....

      I would only ask if they communicate in their own telepathic code

    • Triplet Mom profile image
      Author

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      G-Ma - The questions can get pretty obnoxious and sometimes I just have to answer back with the most ridiculous answer. Only one of my girls looks exactly like me the boy and the other girl are just like their dad.

      Amy - Yeah luckily my husband is a bit of a nut and gave them a good visual. I was so taken aback by the question I must have looked like deer in headlights with the WTF look. I actually have very little patience and it usually comes out in my responses to obnoxious questions. I mean really I think I would know when and how my kids were born but you know everyone wants to be right.

    • profile image

      Amy G 9 years ago

      Great hub. What kind of idiot would ask "Are you sure they're triplets"? Or worse, "What position were you in when you concieved them?" Seriously, I would have to give them the most obscene visuals I could conjure up, then watch them herd their own children into the family van and speed away... most likely to pray for me.

      I think you must have a huge amount of patience!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      You tell em honey...Is hard to believe the questions people dare to ask...even? What I think is how powerful you two are and God Blessed you with 2 girls and one boy and so now you are done? And they are beautiful I must add...Who they tend to favor? I know kids change all the time in who they favor...Great hub sweetie and thanks for sharing their wonderful picture...Love It...G-Ma :O) Hugs

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