Did They Really Ask That? Questions for Parents of Multiples

Parents of multiples understand that our children are of interest especially to those who have singletons.  Twins, triplets and more are simply intriguing however this does not mean that you can just ask any question you want to. Well of course you can ask anything but don’t expect an answer to all those crazy off the wall questions.  Hey we are people to and if you wouldn’t want the question asked of you then you should be smart enough not to ask it of someone else. Hey but I am sure that is asking way too much.

Some of the questions that my husband and I were asked about our triplets more often than any others were:

1. Are They All Identical? I get this question all the time which is fine and I completely understand why it is asked because people are interested in knowing.  However when I say that one of them is a boy most do not understand what that means. Simply put twins cannot be identical if they are different sexes; they are then called fraternal twins.   Sometimes this needs even further explanation where I have to get somewhat graphic and say they cannot be identical because one has a penis and the other a vagina.  Then they usually think I am crazy and walk away.  Hopefully they get the picture by then. 
2. Are You Sure They Are Triplets? – Now this has to be the most infuriating question and has caused the most arguments. I have actually been told that I did not know what I was talking about. Ummm I gave birth to them I think I know whether or not they are triplets.  Still I have heard every possible reason as to why they cannot be triplets.  “One looks bigger than the others.” “They don’t look alike.” “They are different colors.” Every reason in the world would not matter because again I was there and I should know.  I actually had one woman stomp away after asking calling me a liar.  Again not all multiples are identical.
3. Did You Take Fertility Drugs?  - This has to be the most frequent question asked and I am guessing if you polled parents of multiples they would agree. Truly this question is controversial for most parents of multiples because about 50% of the parents have spontaneous births (multiples without the aid of drugs).  Some parents are really touchy about the subject and feel that it is nobody’s business mainly because there are many singleton parents who use fertility drugs yet they are not asked. Again I understand the interest of having a litter most people are used to have a single birth and anything more than that can peak interest. I do not mind personally being asked but it does get tiring when it is always asked over and over again. I once heard a multiple mother say “Who cares how they were conceived the important part is that they are here now.” and I agree completely with that logic.
4. What Position Were You In When You Conceived Them? - Yes this question has been asked of us more than one time. Luckily my husband is quick on his feet and has had some pretty hilarious and shocking responses. Some of his responses were “What position were you and your wife in when you conceived your child” or he will contort himself in a position that is totally obscure and not conducive to having sex. Usually they look at him like he is crazy or maybe they are thinking is that possible.  Regardless that usually ends the conversation right then and there. Me personally I could not imagine asking my friend let alone a complete stranger off the street a question like that.
5. How Do You Do It? – This is usually in reference to raising triplets.  I must admit it is not an easy job but then again raising children period is difficult.  Lucky for me and my husband we did not have another child first so there was nothing to compare it to.  Raising triplets is all that we know and we just do it because we are parents.  I figure that most parents are the same.  Again there are times that it is difficult but I am certain it is that way for all parents.  For example none of my children were colicky so I missed out on that and most parents have to suffer with a colicky baby at some time.  So the easiest way to answer this question is that I just do it because that is all I know.

Sometimes the questions are not that bad but the discussions that come from the questions can get really bizarre.  Like I said earlier I have gotten into arguments over my children and whether or not they are from the same father (I kid you not) or whether or not they were actually born at the same time.  And again I just have to say I was there and trust me it did happen.  No matter what my babies look like they are mine and they were all born on the same day and they are fraternal.

Fun Facts about Our Babies:

We have 1 boy 2 girls

Our babies weighed 3.3 pounds, 4.8 and 4.10 pounds

They were delivered at 33 ½ weeks

I delivered my first baby naturally and then the other two by C-Section.