- Family and Parenting»
Discipline vs. Yelling
These days our children learn about abuse and ACS before they can learn how to write their name. It is funny because I can recall all to well how things were growing up if we ever spoke back to our parents, disrespected another adult or got bad reviews from our teachers. The saying, “just wait till I get you home,” was enough to tell you, you were truly in for it, and you can pretty much count on getting your butt whipped as soon as you stepped foot in the door.
Discipline, was discipline, not child abuse; but then again back then your parents didn’t hit you hard enough to bruise anything other than your ego. As you think back to those days you realize you were probably abused, but it did help mold you into the person you are today. There were no such things as time out, taking away your favorite toys, or downright punishment. You were simply whacked once, maybe even twice, depending on what you did wrong; and then sent straight to bed after dinner.
Today the children know how to dial 911 by the age of four and basically give you this look when they know you’re on your breaking point that tells you, “go ahead, make my day.” A look that can make any parent want to throttle them, but quickly lets you think of a better way to reprimand them because you know they are ready to report you in an instant if you let things get out of hand.
Ironically, due to the fact parents are not allowed to discipline their children as they once were themselves, they have no other alternative than to turn to yelling instead. Okay you can’t beat them senseless because you’d hate to risk having ACS stop by, but yelling at your children is just as bad as physical abuse. Their little egos can’t take it, nor do they understand or want to even listen if you are constantly screaming at them. Verbal abuse is just as serious, for as they grow up they tend to think its normal, and so you can be sure they will do the same when they grow up if you don’t nip it in the bud now.
There's always a better way...
The easiest thing to do when you feel yourself losing it is step away. Go into another room, take a deep breath and think about what you’ll say as you count to ten and calm down a bit. By the time you resurface the child will be anxiously waiting for the outburst and will surely be surprised when you just sit them down before you and discuss what happened to make you so very angry with them.
Communication is the way to resolve it all, you know this, but tend to forget it when you are wrapped up in the moment and the anger is building. All children make mistakes, some mistakes you can relate to because you may have made the same mistake yourself at one point, so therefore you should always place yourself in their shoes and think twice about yelling if you possibly can. Now, as a parent I know sometimes this is easier said than done, but it can be accomplished if you only try.
As a parent we all want what’s best for our children, but we have to be the role models they can only look up to for support when needed. Remember always that what they learn from life they learn from us first, so let’s keep the yelling to a minimum for their sake if nothing else.