Does father knows best?

Reading you piece I couldn’t help but think of how much your daughter sounds like me back when I was sixteen. I always made good grades in school, hung out with great people, yet me and my parents especially my dad got along horribly. According to them I was rude, snotty, and a smart mouth, which now looking back I see that I was. To me back then I remember feeling that my parents didn’t understand me, I felt as if they were trying to keep me a baby. I wanted so bad to grow up, and be an adult I almost refused to be parented. The good news is many of my friends were like this, most sixteen year old girls are generally emotional basket cases, and do grow out of it. My parents and I have a great relationship now, but it took till I was nineteen to start happening. Stay patient this too shall pass! Good luck to you.

i never had any children but married into a grown family. I have heard of some of these issues, prayer is always a solution to much of the concerns you have. Once your daughter makes it through this phase she will be just fine.

There will be times when you wil be able to have those Dad/Daughter days and all this will pass in the mean time keep praying for wisdom and understanding.

Blessings

I have two daughters and one son. In my experience, the daughters are far easier on one's nerves until they are teenagers. Until then you worry about the boy—mostly that he will hurt himself through his crazy antics. But in the teenage years and beyond my son was no worry. He had become a man. But my daughters seemed to be susceptible to every whim and trend—flighty one might say. And the flights of a girl can cause permanent damage to their lives that they seem to have no foresight about.

CMerritt I feel so much pity for you, realy I do. My eldest three kids are daughters. I know what you are talking about. The youngest of the three just turned 21.

I must say, I did not had this episodes from each of them for a very long period of time. At the sweet sixteen age, they all become this nightmares. I ignored it. You see, I am a very disorganised person, and always trying to do twenty millions things at a time. During my frantic running to get all my dreams done and fulfilled, I saw the messed up room, and just kept quite, not saying a word. After all, it is them that have to live in that mess, and my space was tidy enough for me. They started to dislike their own rooms, and the frustration they have to find clean clothes underneath the mess, when they quickly want to use it, taught them to be more responsible for what is happening in their surroundings.

When they threw a tantrum, I just said I am not willing to entertain it, and walked away to listen to music or read a book. Later they wanted to accuse me of not listening to them and I told the following to all three of them: You are big enough now to make choices on how to conduct your behaviour. If you choose to scream and shout, it's fine with me. I have choices to conduct my behaviour as well. I choose to what I will listen to, and it is my choice not to listen to screaming and tantrums.

Whenever you choose to have a decent conversation, my door is allways open, and I will listen to what you want to say.

This group of young ladies come into a phase where they despise evrything they are being told to do, by the authoroty figures in their lives. I guess I have made it easier for them to outgrow this, by not telling them too much of how and what to do. My home was a total mess during those times, but it was temporary.

When this is over, they will come to you on their own accord, testing the water and trying your understanding. But you will also see they will have the courage to even discuss their most intimate secrets with you. Things they do not even discuss with their best friends. For me, that was worth it to tolerate a dirty, messy home for a while, and to just let them be.

I agree with you, boys do not experience this trying time, and they are much better at that age.

This has worked for me, and I cannot say it will work for all. Like I said, I really FEEL for you! Good luck, and hang on in there, it will change.

Welcome to the world of parenting a teen!!! My daughter won't be 13 until December, but she is ALREADY displaying these same characteristics. She will cry over nothing, tell me she KNOWS she is being mean, and she REALLY wants to be nice, but within 10 minutes, she is mad all over again. She is the only child I have, but my family growing up had me as the baby, and my twin brothers who are 7 years older than I. My parents both attest to this day, that boys are just EASIER than girls to parent!! We can commiserate together here, and hope for an end to the moodiness of a teenage girl!

I remember those days - I was a single parent raising my 16 year old daughter. Sometimes it seemed all hell was breaking loose between us. I couldn't understand how she could say and do such mean things to me. I know what that disconnect feeling is like. She is now 32 and married with two great children - a four year old boy and a beautiful one year old baby girl. We all get along so well now. All of the crying and screaming and drama are now a distant memory. Raise up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it. Things will get better