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Does father knows best?
Part of my hopes of becoming part of this Hub experience is to further understand many issues that we all face. As a proud parent of five kids, I am merely trying to stay on top of things to keep my family safe and sound.
The problem I face today is not a political one or a religious one. It is a “daughter” one. After raising two of my sons, one 23 and one 20, they both have turned out to be excellent young men. They were a real joy to raise and be with. To this day, I cherish my time with them whenever I get the opportunity. Unfortunately, I have a 16 year old daughter, to which I am completely baffled with. Now, I love her as much as a father loves any of his kids. I would take a bullet for her in an instant to assure her health and safety. But, I do not particularly like her all that well these days. She is as sweet as pie to anyone and everyone, but her mother and I.
The question I ask to my fellow hubbers is this. Are sons really that much to easier raise than daughters? I seem to be the most irritating human on earth to her. There is a real disconnect between us. We never, ever really established relationship that I always dreamed of or have had one of those classic Hallmark moments.
I’m certain that the emotional world that is in her mind was much different than the emotions I had to deal with on her older brothers. I was convinced at one time that Bill Cosby had nothing on me, that I had the “fatherhood” thing all figured out.
Now to be fair, she really is sweet as can be at least to others. According to her teachers, she is always quiet and respectful. She gets very good grades. She has sweet friends. She does not date anyone yet, and is not in a real hurry to do so. I have not yet to encounter those times yet.
Her mother and I treat her as we do all of our kids. We have gone out of our way to have one on one time with her. We have twin-10 year olds (boy and a girl) whom we have to share our time with. Part of our parenting duties, we have always included daily chores for each of our kids. We do not give out allowances, but we have always rewarded our kids according to the families’ economic status at the time. I try very hard to always be fair. But, as of lately, I seem to be the most unreasonable person on earth. I have seen scenes by Linda Blair from the Exorcist perform, live, in person. The actual head spinning around on her neck has happened right in front of me, for asking her to clean her room up. The voice of Darth Vader has emerged from her lungs as she has disclaimed her views on such issues. My once precious baby girl is now a force to be reckoned with. Logic no longer applies to my critical parental thinking. I understand her body is undergoing serious changes, and the whole estrogen/hormonal convolution are taking place. For the life of me, I am at wit’s end. If I play the understanding father as Ward Clever did, I get ate alive. If I take the more aggressive Al Bundy approach, I am bombarded with emotional grenades, left looking like Rocky Balboa after nine rounds Clubber Lang.
To get to the bottom line, I am wondering if other Fathers (or mothers) are experiencing a situation similar to what I described. Please advise.