ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Counseling Helps Family Stress

Updated on March 27, 2013
Source

Don't Wait, Nip It In The Bud

Raising kids today is very challenging. Sometimes there is a clash of ideas between husband and wife about raising kids and WHAM! A disagreement results into conflict. I think this happens more often than not.

We are all genetically, wired differently. I saw that from the very first day I gave birth to my girls who are now teenagers. My first one woke up at 5:30am with a curiosity to get out of the crib by 6am. My 2nd one slept with her blanket over her head til 8:30 am. The 2nd one does not like to wake -up and jump out of bed. I would say she is not a morning person. They say the first one is the trend setter with a lot of leadership qualities. That may be true. The 2nd child in my home rules the roost and is vocal about her every thought. She also the one whose temperment is volatile. She is sensitive to any form of criticism. Her tongue can be as sharp as a knife with nothing to spare when you get into any disagreement. This has been a source of pain as parents.

Living in a house with teen girls is a challenge. You have raging hormones, sports activities, social life, the importance of getting A's, looking good, looking thin, looking fashionable, Face Book, texting, dating, home comings, sleepovers...shall I say," It is STRESSFUL for them!!"

My husband, the only male in our household, doesn't understand, why (we)girls have to whine and yell so much. I have told him it is because we are girls.Teenage girls can cry and laugh within seconds and a parent can be left wondering, "What happened?" Just giving a glance at my daughter when she is not wanting to communicate can leave you speechless with her glare.


Finding A Solution Is Not Complicated, Just Time Consuming

I have always had strong interest in psychology. My husband laughs because I always manage to come up with a label from the books I have read. We have debated back and forth about our own observations and could not find a fair solution. We are not trained to counsel. However, I do think that 14 years of parental observation has some value. A counselor can dispel any notions and beliefs and clarify what parents think is going on.

Marriage and communication is hard when we are so busy. Often times parents are left not communicating except through emails and text at work. I can tell you things go amiss and are easily misconstrued. I know our tone is curt. The end result is hurt feelings, annoyance and thinking that neither one cares or respects. A marriage suffers because parents are not able to get across what they meant in a loving way.The kids get more stressed. Everyone's emotions get heightened.

Go With An Open Mind

I think the hardest part in looking for any therapist or counselor is finding one you can trust and relate to. The only way to find one is meet each one and interview them to get a sense if the person is a good fit. I would look at your insurance policy to see if there are any in your network. Then find out what your out-of pocket is. You don't want to get sticker shock. But check your insurance before booking any appoint. You will also need to know who is in your network, how many visits you have per calendar year and what your co-pay is.

There are social workers/ counselors and psychologists. I would call several and see if they specialize in family counseling. Some work with only children and or adults. The important thing is to find someone you feel you are comfortable with and someone your kids can relate to. Be sure to find a counselor who has availability when you can see her/ him. Many are so booked, you can't get in. Once you become established with someone, if a crisis emerges, you can usually be seen sooner.

It helps if your spouse is on the same page and willing to go. Our family communication had deteriorated. There was much needed improvement. It is great for kids to see that seeing a counselor can help resolve conflict. Sometimes, kids do not want to share their anxieties because they fear you will not be empathetic or they are embarrassed. Kids do not want to hear parental comments and criticism. Our kids at first did not want to go, but we explained to them it would be helpful to the family.

Counseling Helped Strengthen Our Family

It has been 1 year and I can say, Sarah at Fit Mind of Cleveland has done a fantastic job helping our family through crisis of raising kids and helped all of us communicate better. She has helped us look at things objectively. My kids really like her. She has a good handle of communicating with kids and can get them to talk about things that bother them.

With regard to marriage, she has helped my husband and I in the area of nurturing our relationship. All to often as parents, we do so much for the kids and do not do anything to nurture the marriage. Yes, there is hope. It isn't easy to agree to disagree. Respect for each other is big and a contributing factor to help each other. Patience to listen when we each speaks is helpful. You have to make time for each other. It can be as little as one hour a week together ( no kids), just to catch-up. You can do it over a coffee, a cocktail or even just a leisurely walk. Just do it!

How Would You Rate Your Experience?

5 stars for Fit Mind of Cleveland

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • alphagirl profile imageAUTHOR

      alphagirl 

      5 years ago from USA

      Hey jackie Lynnley, I am told the teen years are the most challenging. Living it is believeing. No book out there can give the exact advice. How old is your daughter now? Do you have a good relationship now?

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 

      5 years ago from The Beautiful South

      It would be fantastic I am sure. I sure could have used some help raising my teen daughter, what a nightmare of a time with few good memories! ^

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      5 years ago

      Sounds like Fit Mind has done some wonderful work for your family. We had six girls in our home and one boy -- the raging hormones were something for him to deal with also. Good post and interesting.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)