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Family Hurting Family

Updated on June 13, 2021
cherylone profile image

I have learned over the years that wanting something is not the same as needing something, and greed will haunt you.


Like a waterfall.
Like a waterfall. | Source


When families hurt their families and friends who are as close as family, they break up a bond that can never be fully repaired. When outsiders, or family, begin the rift and keep it going with lies and hatred, the bond is gone for good. No one can overcome such tactics and remain as they were. Sadly, there are too many people out there who use a single statement, twisted to suit their own needs, to hurt, change, cause anger, and make themselves look good. The hurt is real. The pain is real. The change is more real than anything else.

A Chance Remark

A chance remark, twisted around, and told to someone else.

A coarse exchange that never was is passed and lies upheld.

A fight begins between innocents who had not planned the strife.

Now, as before, the anger grows with more lies and no one is nice.

The lying party smirks and smiles, their tactics worked so well.

They wait in silence, feigning innocence, till another lie they tell.

The Damage

How do you believe people when others are so adamant about what they say they heard, saw, or remembered. How can anyone know who is the liar and who is not. Well, the liar will be loud, obnoxious, and mean and they will come back and do it again. If the one they hurt stays out of the picture, they will grow tired of rehashing the same information and will chose another on which to vent their powers of deceit. They will be found out, eventually; but they will cause a great deal of stress, strife, and hardships along the way. Sadly families, friends, and lovers will be torn apart before this person is done. And the liar will always appear to be the innocent one while everyone else suffers from their lies and deceit. It takes long hard times before you can discover the liar; and by then the damage is done. Worse, they have made you believe the lie.

If you have a family member or friend that you have known for a long time, try to sift through all of the words spoken before you make a decision, because the truth, no matter how hard to believe, is in there somewhere. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find the lie.

From a waterfall to a steady river.
From a waterfall to a steady river. | Source

A Steady River

The lies, betrayals, and gossip will smooth into a steady river when you stop what you think and remember these steps

  1. Gossip is usually wrong.
  2. Those you trust are your best source for information and answers.
  3. Real friends will come to you first to see if the lies are true.
  4. You cannot maintain any kind of relation with someone you no longer believe.
  5. Time does not heal all wounds.

Yes, They Are That Fragile


Are You an Unknowing Liar

Have you heard something about a friend, neighbor, or co-worker that you found wild or hard to believe? Did you pass it on? Were you asked about the person in question? Did you ask the person in question?

We often hear things and think nothing of passing the information on to others because the person telling us wouldn't lie, would they? Sadly, even those who pass the information on may be passing on a lie. How? By believing without checking; by embellishing without facts; by speaking without consent.

But everyone does it, right? Sadly, most do. They think nothing of passing on rumors and gossip; but, when it comes to something about them, they can't believe it was actually passed on. How dare anyone says such lies about them. A friendship or family is sacred, right? Was it to true before you spoke?

Before you pass on rumors and gossip, try thinking about how you would feel if such things were being said about you. Then, putting yourself in their shoes. Stop the gossip before it goes any further. After all, rumors and gossip can only move on if someone repeats it. Families are more important than gossip.

An Experiment

The next time someone tells you something, remember this: the truth is there, but it has been dressed up so much no one can see what it is anymore. Try this experiment to see how these things work when it comes to rumors and gossip:

Sit ten or more people in a room or setting. Once the experiment starts they can't talk among themselves until it is complete. They should not know each other well. Tell one person something true but unique about yourself. Whisper it so no one else can hear. Have that person whisper the fact to the next person and so on until the last person in the group receives their whisper. Now, ask that person what they were told. You would be surprised at the outcome. People tend to forget key details and their brain will add what they think that detail was as they pass it on. Each time it moves something changes. Even small changes can become big problems.

Maybe Not This Big, But You Get The Idea


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 Cheryl Simonds


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