Fathers: Absentmindedness and Subtle Loss of Awareness ...

I would not say I had the greatest memory. I didn't always remember every detail but I remembered a lot of the facts. I did know who asked for what, even though I did not always get around to it. I could find a place after being shown once or twice. I could even remember what everybody's favorite whatever was. I always allowed myself enough time to get something done, and even when I pushed it to last minute (which I would do) I remembered to get it done. I even have a spot for everything in my apartment, and could remember where I kept a certain slip of paper that I would need sometime withing the next year or two. I at least was aware of everything that went on.

I could tell you how the floor of the inn we stayed at was a splintery old pine that was stained at one time but now from all the foot work and lack of maintenance was not the most comfortable surface to run your bare feet across. The walls appeared to be slanted because the building itself had begun to sink into the ground from being half on sand and half on ledge. The wallpaper was faded and you could almost see the layers that plastered the unfortunate room as the windows with their aged crackled wood and shaky panes exposed some of the layers of wallpaper wheezed wind through cracks between the frames. You had to watch your footing as you entered the bathroom since the floor dropped at a slope and the door barely slipped past the sink to close for some privacy. Don't get me started about the shower. The bed was comfortable but You stayed awake wondering why the floor had gouge marks leading underneath. We stayed one night and decided to head off back to the comforts of anywhere but there.

Now as I start my new life as a father I find the farther I go into my new life the less likely I am going to remember something. I barely remember the next line I am about to type, let alone what I just typed a few minutes ago. Not only is my memory going but my awareness is only on one focus: Baby. Anything else I am sorry to say Anything could happen. I don't know if it is the lack of sleep I am getting, or that the sleep I am getting is not very scheduled. It might not even be sleep related, but that I just have so much more on my plate, and most of it new and very important.

Now don't get me wrong I am not being negative about this, more like I am amused at my sudden decline of memory management.

It was one of the greatest moments of my life when my child was born! I remember almost every detail. My mind is not completely haywire yet. I can even remember the smells and sounds and feelings that went throughout the event that began with a movie outing to see the hobbit. It comes to me like turning on the hot water in the sink; It takes a little bit to warm up.

My memory is not gone. It is tied up in little bubbles in my head. I feel like I have so much going on, yet when I try to think about all that entails... I can't remember. I am convinced of it though. If I feel like there is a lot to do, there must be...right?

Maybe...

Now I am doing everything important. I am taking care of my family. I watch and play with my little one. I chat and hang out with my wife. I read them a story. I go for walks and pretty much anything they want. Along with all this I still take good care of my first child, my cat.

But ask me a question during my day while I am doing something else and you might get a blank stare from me as my brain goes...duhhhwhat?...

I have always been a multitask-er but I am not very capable of it right now. I have been known to try and put the dishes in the fridge instead of the cupboard up above because I was distracted by the fact that my boy wanted his bottle. Even tough I had already gotten him a bottle and he was currently down for a nap, bottle was the last thing in my head so dishes go in the fridge.

Should I really even mention the amount of times I cannot find my glasses lately only to have someone find them on my face.

I am really hoping that I do not try something severe...like putting the cat down for a diaper change, or getting a bottle out for my coffee.

I think I need to fix my misfit memory by structuring it a little more.

• Now I love lists. I write and rewrite them and then when something changes I write them again. I try to keep up with my lists especially now that I have trouble remembering what I need to do and when I need to do it by. This is easier said than done. I make my list first thing in the morning and sometimes last thing at night. I found myself not making my lists during the nine months and then after the birth as much as I normally would so I was losing some of my structure. I used to carry a clipboard around with me everywhere but I misplaced it during the last scramble when my child decided to come ahead of schedule...though he came right when my wife thought he was coming...anyway, I am now on top of my lists and slowly I am gaining my tasks back.
• My wife mentioned that I should start doing mind puzzles...which I will...as soon as I remember too. She believes that my mind is out of practice because I am a stay at home dad who used to be a logistics supervisor in charge of a group. I just wrote that down so I will remember to try some logic puzzles. Feel free to mention some to me if you know any.
• I started to listen to music more and drink tea to relax. I generally do this when I do dishes or my art work, as it puts me in "the zone" and my mind is more capable to get my task at hand done. I am currently listening to Pandora and drinking mint tea as we speak.
• When I go for walks with my baby I have him in a pouch, so that I can right down my thoughts in a notebook I carry with me to help my brain stay organized. This is also enjoyable as my child loves the outdoors and I find it relaxing and thought provoking as well.

I know I will balance out at some point. I will regain my skill of multitasking and memory fulfillment. I will again obtain the ability to be aware of the world around me. I wish it was sooner than later, as I am going a little nuts but It is not something I can't cope with. I know I am getting the important stuff done... though I have been late on a couple things that I wish I was not...one thing I can't remember at the moment... but I know its important and needs to be done soon...It might have something to do with this hub or my next one...possibly...

It is not bad to be absent minded. You might just need a little help from others around you to remember for you until you have your feet firmly on the ground again. I type this as I am looking at my wife in hopes that she remembers the thing I am trying to remember...