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Finding My Way Home

Updated on January 2, 2019

Just as I Remembered It

I went home last night, back to the brick structure of my childhood, back to 4022 North 18th, Tacoma, Washington, to that familiar neighborhood where so many good memories reside.

It looked the same after all these years.

Sloping front lawn, mammoth willow tree, bricks fading and chipped; narrow driveway, rockery, inviting front window, my parent’s bedroom window to the left of the front door, a door I opened and closed what, thousands of times, always forgetting and allowing the screen door to slam, and there’s the single-car garage and its roof, so inviting in my youth, accessed by an upstairs window, climb on that roof against instructions, leap across the rockery to the neighbor’s yard, and hope to hell my dad didn’t find out what his son had been doing.

Go around back where four fruit trees surround a patio, all installed and planted when I was five, as was the fence enclosing the back yard, as was the basketball hoop, the bamboo tree, and rhododendrons standing sentry on the perimeter. My parents were busy back in ’53, taking that empty house and making it a home, purchased for twelve grand back then, dirt roads and choking dust, dreams barely solid enough to hold onto, not much for dreaming, those two, not after the Great Depression and World War 2, just nose to the grindstone and all of that.

I approached the house and the front door opened. Mom and Dad stood there, smiling, welcoming.

Dad, just as I remembered him, only five-eight but seeming taller, salt and pepper hair, more salt than pepper, handsome rogue, barrel chest, a chest holding an enlarged heart, a heart which would ultimately be his downfall in 1969. Mom, housedress on, curly dishwater blonde hair, red lipstick, smoking a cancer stick, her Waterloo in 2003, her eyes twinkling at the sight of her only boy.

“What are you doing here, son?” Dad asked.

“I just wanted to come home, Dad. Is it okay if I stay for awhile?”

Great  memories
Great memories

A Short Visit

The three of us, sitting round that kitchen table, so many meals held there, fried chicken on Sundays, hurry-ups the rest of the week, always important that we sit down together each night, my dad’s decree, by God a family should have the time for one damned meal together, and other than nights I had a baseball game to play, we always did. I don’t remember much about the conversations at that table, over meals, but I remember the familiarity of them, the feeling of safety, the feeling of family.

“How have you been, Billy?” Mom asked, smiling, loving in that way she had, making me feel like the most important damned person on the planet.

“I suspect you know, Mom. I’ve been okay. It was a tough road for awhile, you know? I missed you guys. I don’t know how many times I wished you were around so I could ask your advice, find out what you thought about the mess I made of it all, get a fix-it from you. But that just wasn’t possible.

“But it’s okay now, Mom, Dad. I’m married to a wonderful woman. I’m doing work I enjoy, I’m healthy…I’ve got no complaints.”

Dad shook his head.

“And yet you’re here, Bill.”

I never could fool him, not then, not now. He always saw through my bullshit, my mis-directions, and my lame-assed attempts to deflect the truth.

“I just miss home, Dad.”

He nodded his head this time.

“Let’s go for a walk, Bill. Grab your glove. We’ll play catch at the park.”

Jefferson Park, Circa 1960

We walked by the Mertz place, the Jeffersons, the Lillies, and the Birds, down Monroe Street, cracked asphalt, cracked memories, like the mirror distortions in a Fun House at the carnival, familiar and yet not in focus, one mile straight and true to Jefferson Park, the site of so many ballgames on warm, sunny summer afternoons when youth seemed impossible to dislodge and hopes were as reliable as my fastball trimming the outside corner at the knees.

The grass will forever be green at Jefferson Park, the air just a bit sweeter, and so it was on that visit, Dad and me tossing the ball, feeling the satisfactory thump of ball meeting glove, the birds singing timelessly overhead, fluffy white clouds drifting by, all the things I loved so much back then, all the things I missed so much now.

“You had a tough time of it, didn’t you Bill?”

“All my own doing, Dad,”

“Yep! No doubt about it, son, it was your doing.”

Just as he always had been, a straight-shooter, bulls-eye every single time, the truth piercing the heart and psyche of anyone listening.

“It’s just that, you know, by the time I was ready to test the waters of adulthood, head out and be responsible, you were gone. I didn’t have any guidance, no one to ask when I was confused, and it just seemed like one bad decision snowballed into more and more and . . . I just want to come home now, Dad. Is there anything wrong with that? Remember, when I went away to college, you said I could always come home. Well, I want to come home now.”

The Park Bench

He led me over to the park bench, the same bench where I kissed my first girl, Eva Bergstrom, Swedish girl, with accent, blond hair, dimples, and loved me to pieces.

He always knew what I was thinking.

“She was a nice girl, that Eva, but you’ve got a better one now, Bill. That Bev of yours is probably the nicest woman I’ve ever seen and remember, your Mom was no slouch in that department.” He leaned against the backrest, his muscles swelling under the warm sun.

“So you think by coming home you’ll what, regain something? Make all the mistakes go away? Find something you’ve lost? I hate to tell you this, Bill, but your thinking is all fouled up. You’re missing one key piece of the truth, my boy.”

Women in skirts strolled by, pushing strollers in high heels, Jackie Kennedy hairstyles, smiling at us as they passed.

“You’re missing this fact: there is no place on this planet where perfection lives. There’s no place where mistakes aren’t made, where pains aren’t felt, or where tears aren’t cried. Those things didn’t exist when you were twelve, and they don’t exist now that you’re seventy. Looking for them is just a fool’s errand.

“And I’ll tell you the biggest truth of them all, free of charge: everything you miss about your childhood, living at home, being with Mom and I, all those good memories, they are still with you. They reside in your heart, Bill. They are a part of you. You are my son and that truth will never fade over the years. Your mother’s love for you, that’s eternal. The lessons we taught you, well, you never forgot them, and you never will, and that’s like having me whisper in your ear twenty-four-seven, every damned day of your life.

The Walk Back Home

“You need to go back, Bill, back to Olympia, and back to Bev. It’s not time for you to join Mom and me yet. When it’s time, we’ll be here for you, but not now. Hold onto this truth, Bill: love never dies. There is no expiration date on love, and memories of love are forever. You never left home, Billy Boy, and home never left you!”

I see them now as I sit in the pasture at the farm, Mom and Dad smiling, waving at me, not allowing me to forget, pushing aside by sheer force of will my doubts and insecurities, and whispering answers to my questions. And so it shall be until I draw my last breath, the truth, their message, their legacy . . .

Home is eternal!

Author’s note: dedicated to the best damned parents a foster kid could ever hope for. I won the adoption lottery back in 1949, and I am forever grateful.

2019 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      7 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Al, welcome back. It's always good to hear from you. As for those unpleasant memories, sorry about that. I am fully aware that I had a dream childhood.

    • Aliswell profile image

      Aliswell 

      7 weeks ago from Iowa

      Subject, Setting..Noun and Verb

      Feelings felt, and voices heard.

      Never left me, but buried..sure

      Those memories of which..there is no cure.

      Oh change i would..oh, if i could

      Those times of grief..not understood.

      For that of which..from no lessons learned

      I ask if now..they may be burned.

      Bill

      Your story of positive childhood memories, stirred an "uncomfortable pot" of my own.

      I was especially "cut off at the knees" as your Dad gave you all the solid "fatherly" advice, and i could NOT conjure up even one semblance of having one with my Dad.

      Well, he did die at my age of 13, so maybe there would have been some to come..who knows?

      Its been a while since i've been here at HP, and I am very Happy to see you continue to flourish in your literary life --and, i hope -- all other aspects!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      3 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you for sharing that, Lawrence. Your love for your father shines through in your words.

      Blessings always

      bill

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 

      3 months ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Bill

      Dad died a week after they sold the house I grew up in. The deal had just gone through but buying the new house hadn't been finalised, Mum got to do that as she wanted, and that's just what Dad would have wanted!

      I can look up the old house on Google, everything is just the way Dad planned it (he sold it with planning permission to build four more houses on his yard) but one big difference, Dad's not there! His plans are, but he moved on.

      Your Dad was right Bill, we can't go back, but we also take what we need with us.

      Blessings

      Lawrence

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Aww, thanks, Chris! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      4 months ago from Lowell, MA through the end of May, 2019.

      I've gone back several times over the years to my childhood home. It was a farm, purchased by friends of the family, so they don't mind me tromping around, remembering.

      But your message is clear. We can't really go back, but we do take it all with us. Thanks for opening your heart to us once again.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I really appreciate that, Kathy! Thanks so much for the beautiful affirmation.

    • KatWin profile image

      Kathy Burton 

      4 months ago from Florida

      . I have read the article twice, and my eyes cloud with tears, You have inherited some of your adopted parent's traits. You tell it true - a bull's eye each time. This is a wonderful tribute to your parents. Keep on writing.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I wish mine were still around too, Mary! Sigh!

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      4 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      You hit me right through. My memories are beautiful and as your Dad said it will always be there but I have to admit I wish the people I love are still around. Memories of love are forever. Thank you for this message.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      It is indeed, Jo! I hope your memories are beautiful. Thank you!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sparrow...and a very Happy New Year to you and your loved ones.

    • jo miller profile image

      Jo Miller 

      4 months ago from Tennessee

      This is beautiful, Bill. So much we take for granted as we pass through this life. A good thing we have our memories.

    • rdsparrowriter profile image

      Rochelle Ann De Zoysa 

      4 months ago from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka

      Wow! Wonderful memories about a blessed person :) Thank you for sharing :) Beautiful and heart touching :) Have a blessed 2019 Sir Billy and Family :)

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so very much, Liz! Very kind words!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I try, Eric, as do you! Thank you sir!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Lori, I'm pretty sure that's Jefferson Park...we were so close and yet so far....34th and Stevens. I rode by there many times on my bike.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I truly appreciate it, Brian! Thanks so much. I hope all is well in your new home.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      It is my pleasure, Eman! Thanks so much!

    • Eurofile profile image

      Liz Westwood 

      4 months ago from UK

      This is a skilfully written and heartwarming story. It ticks a lot of boxes. You write so well that I can imagine the scenes clearly and you touch on issues that are very relevant to us all.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      4 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Came upon this again as directed by love. You inspire.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      4 months ago from Pacific Northwest

      Gulp. You got me right in the heart, Bill. I lived at 34th and Stevens. What park is that in the photo?

      I think of my childhood often. And I also long for my mom, and my dad sometimes, and want their wisdom, especially in the dark places. I am so happy you had wonderful parents.

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 

      4 months ago from Bainbridge Island, Washington, USA

      So true, Bill. I've watched lessons of the many ways to make love visible and of living by ideals taught by example by my grandparents and parents affect by chain reaction several generations. The log cabin in which my mother's parents lived succumbed many years ago to termites, years after their deaths; their showing what hospitality looks like was reflected at a three-generations family gathering this Thanksgiving and when a niece in October invited me to stay indefinitely in her guesthouse. I'm remembering the traveling salesman who called my grandparents Pa and Ma and considered the cabin his second home. You can't go home again, and you can't leave home behind either. This is a beautiful, moving, wise hub.

    • Emmy ali profile image

      Eman Abdallah Kamel 

      4 months ago from Egypt

      I love my grandmother's house and I have the most beautiful memories when the family gathered there. Thank you, Mr. Holland, for this touching article. I enjoyed reading it.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Venkatachari M! I'm so happy you enjoyed this.

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      4 months ago from Hyderabad, India

      A very interesting and appealing story of your visit to the Home. You mixed the concept of physical home with the Eternal Home very splendidly. A very fabulous narration of it all. Enjoyed it very much.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you N.E....that would be my hope as well.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm so glad you liked it, Dora! Thank you and Happy New Year to you!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Mike, coming from a writer of your abilities, I am humbled by that compliment. Thank you sir!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      4 months ago from The Caribbean

      Simply beautiful, author's note and all. Thanks for sharing sentiments so many feel, but cannot express as well as you do. You are blessed and your spirit of gratitude says that you deserve it. Happy New Year!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 

      4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - You laid out bread crumbs and all of us followed you down the emotional path into the summers of our lives. Your get better and better at your craft.

    • N.E. Wright profile image

      N E Wright 

      4 months ago from Dover, Delaware

      This is lovely. I hope most foster and adoptive children had the same experience as you. I truly enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Zulma! It was nice to find the time to be able to write this; it's a bonus that so many people enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks so much, RoadMonkey! You are appreciated.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sis! Those who truly understand love will have no problem understanding this piece. Hugs and love to you always!

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 

      4 months ago from United Kingdom

      Bill, this is wonderful. I love the way you just let your mind wander back to your childhood home, recreating the feel of the 60s, chatting with your folks. It was so sweet. You really did win the adoption lottery.

    • RoadMonkey profile image

      RoadMonkey 

      4 months ago

      What great memories and what great inspiration for the coming year.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      4 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Bro.......Jesus....Way to stir every emotion imaginable. A lump in my throat, the size of Texas, tears falling faster than I can pat them away.

      Can I say, "bittersweet?" and let me say one more simple thing......Thank you for a very precious journey. Love ya, Sis

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a kind man, Sean, and a good friend. Thank you and peace be with you always.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sha, dear friend. I miss writing pieces like this. So busy with customers I can't seem to find the time to feed my writer's soul. Perhaps 2019 will lead to some more freedom.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      I appreciate that, Kathy! Thanks so much, and Happy New Year to you and yours.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Genna! Tears of appreciation are a ringing endorsement for this writer.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Manatita! Perhaps one day soon you will return to climb those nutmeg trees.

      Peace and love always!

    • Sean Dragon profile image

      Ioannis Arvanitis 

      4 months ago from Greece, Almyros

      "Be soulful, be kind

      Be in love, Love is all there is

      Love is the whole thing,

      we are only pieces." - Rumi

      You are a significant piece, my brother, one for which I am grateful to know!

      Sean

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you John! The album that song is on is one of my favorite all-time...glad you liked it.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      And thank you, Rajan! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Pamela, thank you for you reflection. No, visiting the past is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't become an obsession. :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      4 months ago from Central Florida

      Bill, this is such a sweet reflection. I know this time of year is very hard for you. However, be comforted in knowing you have always benefited from their wisdom and love, even today.

      I feel your strength and love.

      As you know, I'm going through a hard time myself, having lost my father just before Christmas. My brother said (texted) the most wonderful words to me the other day: "Hey - btw, I'm proud of you." Me: "Wow! That means the world to me. What did I do to earn the accolade?" Brother: "You have worked hard to sow your strength so others can inspire. Love you!"

      Bill, I think I could say the same to you. Have a wonderful year, my friend!

    • KatWin profile image

      Kathy Burton 

      4 months ago from Florida

      Ok. Now that I wiped away the tears I respond. Thank you for starting the year off for me with a beautiful tribute to your parents. This is a wonderful piece-one to be kept and reread. Hope 2019 is a good year to you and Bev.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 

      4 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      What a beautiful journey of the heart, Bill. This is one of your best. I sit here with tears of appreciation. "You never left home, Billy Boy, and home never left you." You were blessed, Bill. So was I with my folks, who I think of often, and cherish. :-) Thank you for sharing this with us. Love that C, S and N classic.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ellison! I appreciate you stopping by.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you very much, Graham! Happy New Year to you!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you MizB! I suspect the exterior of that house hasn't changed, but perhaps a remodel of the interior...time moves on, my friend.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Then I have done my job as a writer, Peg! Thank you for your kind words.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Peggy! Family meals was the thing back then...sad that it has fallen by the wayside as society "advanced."

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks so much, Sally, and Happy New Year to you. It was nice hearing from you.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      It is very hard to leave memories,Flourish, and I can understand your reluctance. Thank you for sharing that...I understand!

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 

      4 months ago from london

      A nice walk down memory lane. Great! Nice time to reflect … to reminisce … to remember the good … the lessons, the way things were and what truly mattered.

      We buried my mom about 6 years ago. I had this great urge to visit the city, to just go to the lands and pick mangoes, climb the nutmeg trees ...alas! I was just too busy with mom's funeral and so I returned to London, still yearning to do the things I once loved.

      Its great to write such an easy to write spontaneous and satisfying piece. I commend your sense of love, duty and loyalty. Praise be!

    • Ellison Hartley profile image

      Ellison Hartley 

      4 months ago from Maryland, USA

      Loved this!

    • profile image

      Graham Lee 

      4 months ago

      Well Bill we have another lovely piece from you. Well done my friend - Graham.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 months ago from Queensland Australia

      A heart-warming and brilliantly written tribute to your parents, Bill. I thoroughly enjoyed this flashback. Your dad was certainly a wise and insightful man and those lessons are ones we never forget. Thank you for writing this. Loved the song "Only Child" by Jackson Browne too.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      4 months ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Love and memories do not die... so true! I really enjoyed this flashback in time reminding me of so many lovely memories I have of my parents and my childhood. Thank you, Bill.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      4 months ago from Sunny Florida

      Billy, I really enjoyed this article when your went back to your youth. Life was a bit more simple. I sure missed my dad more than usual this Christmas and he passed away in 2002.

      I remember all those dinners at the table, no cell phones were available, and even if they were we would have had to put them away until after dinner.

      The other positve part of this article is Bev and the good life you have now. Time seems to pass by quickly as we age, but revisiting the past is probably not a bad thing.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      4 months ago from Beautiful South

      Bill, what lovely memories you have, and that home was a fine home in its day. I envision it restored, but I have a love of old houses. What is the old saying about not being able to go home again? Sounds like you've had a very nice visit. Thanks for taking us on the trip, my friend.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 

      4 months ago from Northeast of Dallas, Texas

      This is a beautiful piece of writing, Bill. The memories you shared and the feelings and emotions are those which can be shared by so many, some who've lost their parents and others who know that day will one day come along. Nicely told. As I read along the bright days of my youth came flooding back along with many fond memories of those days.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      4 months ago from Houston, Texas

      My parents, as well as my siblings (two brothers), are all gone but just like your memories, mine live on in my mind and heart. When I was a child we also sat at the kitchen table each evening to share our supper and events of the day. It was small talk mostly, but a fine bonding time with one another. Thanks for sharing your memories with us.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 

      4 months ago from Norfolk

      Perhaps its that time of the year when memories like these come flooding back! I've had a few of my own of late, some which I could have done without but I am so glad I happened upon this piece of writing today, it reminds me of how thankful I am for my own parents so thank you, Billy,:) Happy New Year to you and yours.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      4 months ago from USA

      My parents are still here, but this made my eyes well up. We moved around every few years with my dad's job while I was growing up, and each place marks a specific period of life, some much happier than others, all frozen in time. There have been times when I have visited old homes we grew up in, stood with my sister outside and had my husband take a photo for old times sake. The memories are vivid, but you can never truly go back.

      Right now my husband is trying to get me to sell the house he and I have raised our daughter in since she was a year old. He promises me a brand new home on 25 acres with a barn, but all I can think about is the memories. It's hard to leave the memories.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks so much,, Robert! I love that you can relate to this.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Blessings Verlie....you and me both, remembering our parents daily. What a wonderful gift that is, to have fond memories of childhood.

      Thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      It's my pleasure, Shannon. I wish I had more time to write like this each week. I'm so happy you liked it.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Linda! Sorry about the tears...not really! lol Blessings to you always!

    • snakeslane profile image

      Verlie Burroughs 

      4 months ago from Canada

      Bill this is beautiful, heart stuff, seen as if it was just yesterday you were sitting down with your Mom and Dad. These precious moments truly are timeless. It's hard not to get emotional reading this, there's not a day goes by that I don't think of my parents, I'm always grateful, as you so clearly are.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks so much, Carolyn! I appreciate your kind words. Happy New Year to you!

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you very much, Kim! I've been holding onto this one for the holidays. I'm glad you liked it.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      4 months ago from Texas

      Well, Bill, you sure know how to bring out the sentimental in people through your own sentimentality. This is so poignant, filled with love and nostalgia. Lots of life reflection. Seems that hindsight always is 20/20, huh? Days, weeks, maybe even years down the line.

      As far as writing style goes, reading this reminded me of a dream. Almost as if you were sharing a very personal dream with the rest of the world. And it's so relateable to adults of any age. Thanks for sharing your hear through your writing.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      4 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Darn it, Bill it's hard to see the computer screen much less read the words. My Dad has been gone 37 1/2 years, my oldest sister 26 years and I still miss them so much it hurts at times. Almost every day I find myself having a conversation with one of them in my head. Does that make me crazy, or is it just a testament to how much I loved them? (You don't have to answer that).

      Thank you for this article, beautifully, lovingly written. Well done my friend. Blessings to you.

    • Robert Beyer profile image

      Robert Beyer 

      4 months ago from Seattle, Washington

      I've gone back to where I grew up and it's funny how things stay the same as they did when I was growing up. Thanks for writing about those awesome memories you had in your childhood home.

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you McKenna, and I agree, I was blessed. Happy New Year to you.

    • Carolyn M Fields profile image

      Carolyn Fields 

      4 months ago from South Dakota, USA

      I went home for Christmas. Back to the house where I grew up, where my mom and my brother still live. It was all the same, and also completely different. It is a place. But the memories of the place are actually much more important. Thank you for a beautiful article. Great way to start the new year.

    • profile image

      ocfireflies 

      4 months ago

      Bill,

      Beautiful! Poignant! Reminiscent of “field of dreams.”

      Kim

    • billybuc profile imageAUTHOR

      Bill Holland 

      4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Brothers we are, Eric,and I'm proud of that. Enjoy your time under that tree. You earned it and deserve it.

    • letstalkabouteduc profile image

      McKenna Meyers 

      4 months ago from Bend, OR

      What a beautiful tribute to your parents, Bill. You were truly blessed.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      4 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill in my mind I have decided that "I Am". And what "I Am" is the overwhelming love of my childhood. I read that we are fully psyche formed by 7. For me it has not been survival of me but of my soul of love.

      As adopted brothers you inspire me like a big brother.

      My brother has insisted and will provide a ticket for me to "come home" to his which was mom's. I have to make that work. Thanks for the direction.

      Now back under my tree.

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