Growing up, I was told several things. but the one that gets me the most is whenever I got frustrated, mad, or upset, I was told to behave. Now, to an extent, I did need to behave. But what I was being told, is that I'm not allowed to be upset or frustrated.
What you need to realize is that children are people too. And much like you, they get stressed out. They may be over things you don't find important, but to a child, small things can make it feel like their world is ending. The early years are critical in the development and happiness of a child, and having their feelings ignored will only cause more harm.
This isn't excusing bad behavior such as pitching a fit in the store or talking back. Let me paint you a picture:
"You're helping your son with his homework, but he just isn't getting it. You try and try to get him to focus, but the more you do, the more he resists. Then he yells at you.
You get mad and yell back, "Do not yell at me!" or "Do not talk to me like that!" or "Don't get an attitude with me!" You see hurt fill his eyes, and then anger. Now he refuses to talk to you, so you send him to his room.
That didn't go so well. Instead of getting upset with your child, sternly tell them that you understand that they are upset, but they can't talk to you like that. But instead of shutting them down, ask them about how their feeling. It's important kids feel safe opening up about things. Acknowledge them. But if their attitude continues, then that needs to be corrected. Let me paint another picture:
"You're helping your son with his homework, but he just isn't getting it. You try and you try to get him to focus, but the more you do, the more he resists. Then you realize that this isn't working. Your son is frustrated and probably wanting to cry. You say, "Why don't we take a break."
You say, "Why don't we take a break."
He gets a snack and some time to recuperate, and then he's ready to try again. "
Studies have shown that, especially for kids with ADD and ADHD that it's important for them to take a break. An article was written in pathways to family wellness talks about why kids need recess. it's more than just a time for playing. Many of the benefits include:
- Increased focus
- Reduced stress
Kids need a break now and then. It doesn't mean they're trying to be disrespectful. They just need to be taught how to correctly deal with their emotions.
If you would like to read more about why recess and breaks are important, The link to the article is here: