Grandparenting: Letters To My Grandchild On Serving Others
Those who have served will gain an excellent standing . . .
1 Timothy 3:13 (NIV)
A Rite-of-Passage
The young boy you see before you today will become the man of tomorrow in just the time it takes to slip out of your shoes each night. As a father, grandfather, older brother, or uncle you can take time to help this young boy in your life to successfully venture out on his quest to manhood.
Boys seek out mentors as they grow into adulthood. It is part of their nature and meant to increase their awareness of leadership in life. They look to those around them, sometimes beyond, to give them inspiration on what it takes to be a man. If a youth does not have a role model in his life to show him the ropes, he will make up his own or adopt another viewpoint.
Have you ever noticed what happens when you crush the lead ant on a trail? The followers become disoriented and wander around in circles and then head off trying to find the proven path. Similarly, if a boy is not given a rite-of-passage they will wander around aimlessly through their teen and young adult years until they reach that mid-life crisis stage. When this happens, you may wonder why they have decided to quit their job and take some time to discover who they really are. I have seen this happen many times in families I worked with and in students I have taught.
For this reason, my husband writes letters to our grandson; to inspire in him a life purpose. He is instilling in him a sense of what it takes to be a man and a leader in today's world. It is what every mentor should guide young boys to become: a leader and not a sheep living a mediocre life accepting a life conformed to others impression of him. Through sharing of life's experiences, an older mentor, such as a grandparent, can help a young boy navigate the difficult passages of life to find truth and self-awareness.
The following is an excerpt form one of my husband's latest letters to our grandson. This letter addressed the virtue of serving others in life and how it is the mark of a good man.
A Good Man Serves Others
. . . A good man thinks of others instead of just himself.
So... when you were playing soccer, did you encourage other team members? Did you tell them they were doing a good job? Did you give them a pat on the back and tell them, "way to go?" Even if they didn't do such a good job, sometimes all a person needs is a little acknowledgement to make them feel better.
When you have friends over to the house, do you let them decide what to do or do you make all the decisions? . . . I know you're not the same guy you were even a year ago. Like everyone else, you physically get older every year (you'll be in high school before you know it!). But, think back to when you were that little kid, and try to remember the times when someone older said something to you that made you feel good . . .
It's natural that little kids think more about themselves and what makes them happy. As you grow older, I want you to grow morally too. And one of the ways to do that is to make sure you take the time to reflect on things you could have done better. What are the things you could have done to make other people feel good about themselves? Where could you have lent a helping hand?
As I wrote before, there is an opportunity to help others in almost everything we do. There is always an opportunity to make others feel better about themselves . . . Remember that good men help and serve other people and are concerned about how other people feel. . . Enjoy life! There's nothing wrong with having fun, but remember to help others along the way. Do the right thing. And if you continue to do the right things, then you'll continue to grow into becoming that good man.
Do you believe a mentor makes a difference in a young boy's life?
Cultivating The Rite-of-Passage
Besides writing letters, grandparents can set aside time to take their grandson(s) on special trips. This I refer to as a "quest to manhood" in the rite-of-passage. It is a social experience that factors in the cognitive reasoning a youth needs to make that transition into adulthood. Specifically, a time to have some "man" time and still discuss through a comfortable setting the issues of life. My husband says its great getting to eat meat-on-a-stick, scratch where you want, and belch with power!
This summer they plan to set out on a short kayak trip. They will enjoy the tranquility of the lake while sharing thoughts. I am always amazed at how men can speak volumes and gain insight without having to talk much to each other. It's the non-verbal communication or inference that means so much (we women can't understand this!). And I suppose somewhere on that trip they will discover how much they value each others friendship and enjoy being together. Somewhere on that trip a rite-of-passage will have been cultivated which will bridge the relationship between the two and lead to the making of a better man.
Hubs That Will Help . . .
- Letters To My Grandchild
Grandparents can help mentor grandchildren through letters. It is a communication tool that helps build a bond of trust and bridges a relationship through the years. - What Makes A Child Special?
Every child has unique character traits that make him or her a special person. Parents can work with children to help them establish a good sense of themselves through every day circumstances. - Building A Child's Self-Worth With Constructive Prai...
By using constructive praise, parents and teachers can build a child's self worth. Encouragement in this fashion helps a child focus on his/her accomplishments, which leads to a stronger self esteem.
Ways To Build A Boy's Self-Awareness
- Offer positive feedback on accomplishments
- Notice and build his strengths, help him overcome his weaknesses
- Spend a few hours a week with him. Take in a movie, go fishing, toss a baseball at the park, etc.
- Celebrate special days: birthdays, graduations, etc.
- Send them notes, letters, cards, emails, and texts to let them know you are thinking about them.
- Encourage him to join a group of interest that will cultivate manhood such as Boy Scouts, YMCA, 4-H, Church Youth Group, or a quality sports team. These programs award and affirm achievements through projects, skills and talent.
- Keep them in your thoughts and prayers.
- Help them to build character through ethical thinking and application.
- Role model excellence
- Be there for them!
Comments
Hi teaches12345, i agree with what you are saying here, i teach in a college and everyday i interact with these young men and women. One thing i have noted over the years is that talking to them constantly builds their confidence and keep them away from many harmful deeds. Over time, they become responsible and focused on future. This is a great article with very useful advice, voted up, useful and shared.
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Dwachira, your mentoring the students is what saves them from destructive patterns. They need adults like you to just listen to their story. Great job!! Thanks for your vote, sharing and wonderful support. Be blessed today.
Great hub, words of wisdom in the letter. Grandparents are a great support to their grandchildren. Voted up, way up.
This is so very true. Young people need mentors.
What a lucky young man he is! Up and useful and awesome!
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Vellur, grandkids are what keep us living right! Thanks for your support.
Kygirl, mentors can make a difference in a young one's life. Thanks for stopping in here.
Breakfastpop, we consider ourselves fortunate to have such great grandkids. Thanks for your votes and visit. See you soon.
Your grandson is very lucky to have such loving grandparents. Sadly, I only met one of my grandmothers when I was four years old but I have such fond memories of her that I will never forget. The time you and your husband spend with your grandson will greatly impact the man he becomes. He may not realize it now, but rest assured, when he matures he will look back on the times he spent with you both and he will know that he is loved.
This is a very well-written article on how important it is to mentor a boy. I think it is wonderful that your husband is writing to your grandson. Mine is writing to our grandson who is in boot camp for the Navy. We know he needs a lot of support right now. Not enough boys have a male mentor unfortunately and I think this article illustrated the importance of this relationship. Up and awesome.
What a wonderful thing your husband is doing for your grandson. Hopefully those letters will be kept and reread over time. The kayaking trip sounds like a great bonding time plus fun. Your grandson is fortunate to have both of you in his life! All grandchildren should be so fortunate! Up votes.
What an excellent hub that is filled with much wisdom and caring. I especially liked,
“Have you ever noticed what happens when you crush the lead ant on a trail? The followers become disoriented and wander around in circles and then head off trying to find the proven path. Similarly, if a boy is not given a rite-of-passage they will wander around aimlessly through their teen and young adult years until they reach that mid-life crisis stage.”
So very true. I agree with Peg in that your grandson is very lucky to have both of you in his life. :-) Up and much more!
Hi teaches.
Very great points that all dads and grand dads need to read.
God bless you.
This is a great article. And a great vision! I love this idea. I have 4 grandchildren of my own and distilling honor and integrity is essential to their growing years. They are all very young now, but I like this idea of writing them letters. Thanks for sharing this!
This is so powerful and beautiful at the same time. Grandparents play a crucial role in their grandchildren's lives for sure. It is a special kind of joy to be able to share in their lives. Voted Way Up They will have those letters to cherish for the rest of their lives. I would make a special box to contain them in, so they will be sure to have a place to keep them stored for when we, grandparents, are long gone. The statistics say that 99% of men in prison said that they had no relationship with their father, or had no father figure in their life, or they did not know their father, or did not have any type of male mentor. So, there you go! God bless you. In His Love, Faith Reaper
Excellent advice and suggestions, as always, teaches. I love the fact that your husband writes letters to your grandson and will accompany him on a trip soon. These are great ways to build a good relationship with your grandson and guide him as he grows into a man.
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I only knew my grandmother on my mother's side, the rest had passed on prior to my birth. I know what how important it is to have a grandparent who is there for you, even if it is just one. Thanks for stopping by here, Blawger and for your encouraging words.
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Pamela, thank you. I know your Navy man is very much appreciating the contact with his grandfther. It will make a difference to both of them. Thanks for your support and votes. Be well and strong.
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Peggy, I have to say that I do admire my hubby for taking this up with our grandson. I think they will both benefit from the bonding over the years. Thanks for your support of the topic. Blessings.
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Thanks, Genna. I am so glad that you enjoyed the hub. I appreciate our support here. Take care.
A positive influence, no matter who it is, makes a mark on a young person as they grow into adulthood. Nice work teaches.
TFP
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Hello Frog Prince, great insight to the topic; it's those who take time to postively influence/mentor young children that will help them to become well adjusted in life. Thanks for your visit here. Take care.
Beautiful sentiments and advice from a grandfather to a grandson. So important and critical in a young boy's development. Thank you for sharing this personal gem.
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I think the wisdom of grandparents do wonders as they build a bond through mentoring. Thank you, LIndacee, for your contribution to this hub. Enjoy your weekend.
Aw, heck, I think these are even good tips for girls! :) My grandparents raised me, so I have a special love for them. Though they were extraordinarily busy trying to send all of us kids to Catholic school, I did find mentors in my teachers and later on in good friends that had accomplished things that I wanted to do myself. That's the one piece of the pie that kept me on the "good life:" teachers who had become mentors to me and had taken an interest in me. To this day, (it's been 15 years since I graduated high school) I still keep in touch with many of my teachers. I became a teacher myself to "give back," though I no longer teach now. What an important message here. It really does take a village. :)
Teaches, a real good write up and an example of very good grand parenting, rather i think, grand parents play a better role than parents, In India, as you know we have joint family system, we stay together and here your article gives a very important guidance and direction, thanks and i don't think i should right voted up, i would say ' salute '.
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Cclitgirl, I agree totally: these tips would work with girls as well. The mentoring is slightly different, but the general ideas are applicable. You have given much validation to this topic with you shared experience. Your teachers should be proud of your excellent example to others.
Girishpuri, your family culture is one that should be valued across the world. In our Hispanic families, the bonds between generations is also strong and everyone helps to raise the children. Thanks for your insight on this and it is very much a valued add. Take care.
This is such great advice. So many of society's problems are caused from lack of fathers and mentors. I have tried and failed to keep a journal. I can write letters though to my boy. Thank you for the idea.
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Hey, Hyphenbird, it is a great day whenever I see your comments on the hubs. Your support is always so positive and inspiring to me. Yes, today's society lacks the strong, men of integrity to mentor our young men. Perhaps, as we see this need and encourage men, we will see a difference for the next generation.
teaches12345, I have a blog for grandparents. May I post a link to this Hub? I can email you a link to the blog if you like if you want to check it out first. Thanks, Hyphen.
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Hyphen, thank you for linking to this hub. I would like to have your link. I would enjoy reading your blog on grandparenting. Enjoy your evening, dear lady.
Thank you. I will email the link right now.
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I got it. Once again, thank you for the link to your blog. I have read the front page and am going to read it (bookmarking it also) for future advice. Blessings!
Inspiring. We do need mentors for young people today. Love, Debby
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Hello, Debby! I do agree that mentors are much needed in today's world. It does take many to raise one single child. Thanks f or stopping in to visit.
I got the link to this article posted. Thanks again. HB
That sounds like a wonderful idea, especially if your child encourages it too, to your grandchild. Grandparents I think have something special for their grandchildren that touches their heart and less likely to rebel against as they do their parents. Best of luck.
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Hello, Jackie! Having a family member as a mentor to your child is the greatest blessing. Thanks for your contribution to the topic. Have a wonderful day.
Teaches,
First off, I want to apologize for the fact that I just hit your "follow" button. I was so shocked when I realized I was not already following you! Now I am, and will be a loyal follower for sure!
But, back to your hub, this was a beautiful message of inspiration. The letter your husband was magnificent and powerful. It held many truths for your grandson.
Thanks for sharing this awesome article on encouragement and mentoring for young people! It was an excellent read Teaches! :)
I just shared with my followers!
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Josh, I am glad you found the article interesting and inspiring. We need more men willing to mentor those wonderful young boys into manhood. Thanks for your follow and support, I so appreciate having loyal and positive people in my life. Be well and safe.
teaches......BRAVO!! Excellent hub and thank you for bringing this topic into focus with such grace and wisdom. I agree with you completely and I hope others take heed of this valuable info!! UP++
Good hub, Teach! Voted up, useful, beautiful, and interesting.
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Fpherj48, Thank you! You are indeed a positive support here.
Civil War Bob, thanks for your visit and votes.
I voted up for sure. That is awesome.
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Thank you, Integrity. I appreciate your votes. Enjoy your day's journey. Blessings.
Up! Awesome! Interesting! and Useful! My Hat is off to you and your husband. How excellent it is that he writes the letters. I said and say many of the same things to my sons, however a letter can be read and reread. The excitement a small child feels to receive their own letters, will increase their receptiveness when they reach the tougher teen years. You and your husband are very wise.
Your writing style is excellent for communicating his method clear and in a manner that the reader can repeat for themselves. (sort of like a letter to the grandparent reader!) ~grin~
This is a truly inspirational hub, while this concept of mentoring a grandchild is a wonderful idea it also works to give ideas to anyone involved in a child's life,
It's so important for both young boys and girls to have someone to look up to and to serve as a mentor. My husband lost his father when he was only 14 years old, and he still fondly remembers a member of his church who took him under his wing during that difficult time. Voted Up!
I have three young men in my home. We have made it a priority to be part of their lives at school, during sports and with friendships. They are becoming strong young men capable of making sound decisions. It is an on-going process but a beautiful one to see unfold. Your hub is a beautiful one filled with important insight. Thank-you for the awesome read!
I absolutely love the important message and beautiful letter shared in this hub. I really never understood the importance of grandparents until I had children. My father-in-law picks up my boys at least twice a month and they have their "man" time which they both absolutely adore. Although my own father still works full time, he still makes the effort when he is able and my boys will talk about their day with poppa for hours on end. So thank you for writing and sharing this wonderful hub - I hope it reaches many grandparents out there and inspires them to spend that much needed quality time with their grandchildren! Voted up and over!
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Pfennig, I thank you for your positive feedback and compliment here. It is a privilege we take seriously in helping to raise our grandkids. I still enjoy getting those slow snailmail letters myself, you can reread them forever.
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Thanks, Tracy, for your support here.
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Mperrottet, thank God for those men of integrity who take mentoring seriously. It does make a difference in a person's future life.
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Teresa, good job in raising those future leaders! Thanks for the read.
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Alissa, you are blessed to have two mentors in your children's lives. As they continue to grow, they will reflect the good values they have been taught. Thanks for your vote and support, I do appreciate your comments.
Hi Teacher, having raised two Sons, I found your Hub Wonderful, Inspirational, as well as quite Informative. With Excellent Advice.My husband and I were always involved in our Sons up bringing. We rooted for them when they played sports, and taught them to be Good Losers as well...Anyone can be a Good Winner. Today, they are Grown up on their own, and surviving nicely, and We are both proud to call them our Sons!
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B.Malin, sounds like you did your job well.. congratulations on now experiencing the fruits of your love and labor. I am always so elated to hear of parents who take this matter of mentoring to heart.
This is a beautiful idea. Such a rare gift, one that can't be bought and is so heartfelt. It's wonderful to pass on the wisdom of being a man in a time that life seems to be moving so much faster for kids and parenting is becoming more impersonal. Everything you say is always about taking time to parent, spend quality time, know your children. It's awesome! I love your work. -K
I adopted a grandson who is now 17 (that's his photo on my avatar). I get concerned that he doesn't have a mentor. I just try to do my best with him.
Just want to give you my congrats on winning a Hubbie Award. That was so well deserved!
I voted this Hub UP, etc. and will share.
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Krsharp, thanks for the positive feedback and view of my writing style. It is so true that mentors will make a better world for our children. Take care, dear one.
Mary, I am so glad you stopped by here. I always enjoy your visits. Thank you for the congrats. It was a surprise to me, but one that I value due to the wonderful hub supporters, like you. Thanks for voting, sharing and your encouragement. Blessings.
This is a beautiful piece of writing you got hear teaches12345. I totally agree that all young teens and above should have someone in their lives who mentors them. My son is 15 and I sometimes worry about him, but I trust in God to help us be all he needs us to be.
Voted Up and Useful. Thanks :)
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Hello ComfortB! God is the best mentor any of us can have! Thanks for the feedback on the topic. I appreciate your visit and support. Sending prayers and hugs your way.
I love how "personalized" the letters are towards your grandson (IE remember when you played Soccer?) and not "in general".
Voted Awesome! Always a pleasure.
~Becky
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Becky, Thank you for coming by here. I so appreciate your votes and support - you are such a great follower! The letters are personal but I think they help the reader to understand.
Teaches, excellent article. Now that I think back, I looked for a mentor also. A mentor does make a different in a young boys life. This is a very useful article and explained so well. A fantastic job. Voted up, useful, and interesting.
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Lyricwriter, thank you for the feedback on the hub and for your input on the subject. I believe mentors are very much needed in a young child's life. The guidance will only prove to help the child avoid pitfalls and build character.
This is such a wonderful hub! I have a 7 year old and his grandparents mean so much to him. He gets to be a totally different person under the love and guidance he receives from them. This is such wonderful information for grandparents and parents alike. Voted up and beautiful.
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Trinity, thank God for those wonderful grandparents in your child's life. Thank you for coming by here today. I appreciate your votes and encouragement. Blessings.
This is so beautiful and gave me a wonderful idea to impart my love and wisdom to my grandchildren who live sooo far away. Thanks!
Mentoring can come from different sources too. My in-laws divorced when my wife was only 9 so the two youngest boys didn't really see dad much after that. When my wife and I were dating they kind of looked up to me as a father figure because they were 13 and 11 at the time. I didn't mind because they were good kids and we now have a very good relationship.
Voted up and useful/beautiful.
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2besure, I am glad this was of interest and help to you. I am sure your grandchildren will enjoy your love and wisdom, even at a distance. Blessings.
Adjkp25, you are a very special person to jump in and mentor those boys. I am sure they consider you a real value in their lives. Thanks for the votes and support. Have a great evening.
Your husband's example is valuable to your grandsons and others now that you've written about his efforts to communicate important truths to them. So glad to see this posted and that it has generated so many comments. Hope to see it highlighted many times over!
teaches - This was wonderfl. Thank you for sharing what your husband shared with your grandson. Wish there were many, many more men like him...our society needs them,. Blessings. ~~ Theresa
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Rtalloni, thanks for the compiment and encouragement on this hub topic. I do hope it helps others in raising great kids. You are always such a welcome visitor.
Phdast, I have to say that my hubby is a very special guy. Thanks for your support here. Blessings to you also!
It's tough for boys who don't have a father or grandfather involved in their lives. Mentoring is great, but in these times it can be so difficult to find someone to trust.
I did especially like the section on building a boy's self awareness.
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Our society has a few good men still out there mentoring young men. Still not enough for the many who need someone to help guide them. Thank you, heartexpression for your visit here and comment. Blessings.
teaches Sister, I love this. What a wonderful idea! How precious indeed that your husband writes these encouraging letters to your grandson. It is so important to train up these young ones in the way they should go. They will not depart from it says the Lord God.
Thanks for a hub filled with hope and inspiration and truth!!!. Great reminder to all!!! Love n hugs my friend
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I was just remembering that Bible verse today, Skye. How profound a statement and so true. Thanks for stopping in here and commenting. Have a blessed day's journey. Hugs and love to you also.
WOW great Hub! I am realizing as a new grandfather the importance of the role. Not a parent, not interfering but supporting caring and being the role model that your husband displays in what he writes and more important what he does..this Hub made an impression I will not forget...thank you
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RSlovenec, congratulations on your important role as a grandfather. The world needs more men like you who are willing to take a young man under their wing. Just being there for them will make the difference of a lifetime. Thank you for stopping in to read the hub and your positive reflection. Enjoy your day and family!
A brilliant read teaches.
Eddy.
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Hey, Eddy, thanks! Always enjoy your visits on the hubs. Enjoy your day.
Excellent hub full of wisdom and practical advice. Thank you.
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Marion, thank you for the feedback. I can't think of anyone better fit for giving wisdom than a grandparent. Enjoy your week and keep safe.
Very useful hub. However, I will have to come back and read again.
Came back to read this great hub about grandparenting. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Those who have served will gain an excellent standing . . .
1 Timothy 3:13 (NIV)
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