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- Advice & Tips for Parents of Teens
Is your teen spiraling out of control?
Has your teen became too much to handle?
Has your teen spiraled out of control? They break all the rules, skip school, drink, do drugs, have sex, or have even gotten locked up?
In most cases your child needs help. This can be the scariest thing in the world. Honestly, what parent wants to admit that their child is out of control. We have to face the truth to put an end to the downward spiral before it's too late. Most likely your family is falling apart because of this. Often parents will fight about punishment or what they should do and they simply just do not agree. Now is the time to help your teen and save your family.
What will really help your teen?
You may often feel like you're losing control because you don't know what to do with your out of control teen. Well, help is here! There are several different tips to help your teen and save your family.
Out of Control
Parenting Tips to help save your teen.
Here are a few tips to get you started. This is not all inclusive, but it is a great start.
1. Take control!- Parent's often feel that their teen is out of control, but in reality your teen has taken control of the entire family. Your teen is so in control that your family is falling apart right in front of your eyes. You must set the rules and consequences and enforce them. Sit down with your teen and go over the rules that they must follow and explain to them the consequences if they fail to follow the rules. You must assure that you enforce the rules. If you fail to enforce the rules and follow through with the consequences than your teen will continue to have all control and power and your household will become the hostage.
2. Find out if there are underlying issues. There are many mental health issues that can be affecting your child, such as ADD, ADHD, child anxiety, or bipolar disorder. There are several underlying conditions that may can behavioral issues with your teen or child. See a doctor to rule out any underlying disorders. If there is an underlying disorder than your physician will assist you in determining the proper treatment plan.
3. Pick your battles- As a parent we all want perfect children, but it isn't realistic. Let's face it, you may never like your teens friend, like how they dress, or the music they listen to, but this doesn't need to be a battle. You need to prioritize. Think, what is important to my teens safety and well-being? This will help you choose which battles are worth fighting.
4. Consult a professional- I know, I know this may sound extreme, but the truth is a therapist can help. They can talk to your teen and help them work through any issues they may have. Often times your teen doesn't know how to express themselves in a healthy way, I mean, when you were a teen did you ever act out? Chances are that we all did at some point, just not to the same extent. A therapist can honestly help.
5. Clarify rights and privileges- Often times our teens believe that privileges are rights, such as driving a car. Driving a car is a privilege and not a right. It is important to clarify the differences with your teen. They need to understand that privileges are earned with good behavior.
6. Teens must experience their consequences- It is so important that we allow our teens to experience consequences. For instance if your child does something illegal and goes to jail, do not post their bond. If you post their bond you are not experiencing the consequences of their behavior which in turn makes you their easy way out. They will always know that no matter what they do you will bail them out and the behavior will never change.
7. If your teen has become so out of control that nothing works it may just be time to try a long-term residential treatment center. This may sound bad, but it's not. It may be in the best interest of your child. They have professionals there to help your child 24/7. After all, your entire family is falling apart and at this point only professionals can save your child. You have done your best and you are not giving up on your child. You are giving them the best possible chance that they can get.
8. Don't give up- Your child still needs you! They need to feel your love and encouragement. They need your support. Don't give up!
What is the best option for punishing your teen?
Your Teen Still Has a Chance!
Your teen still has a chance. I know it may seemed far fetched at times, but it's true, they still have a chance. Don't give up on your child because if you give up they will give up too. Follow some of the above tips and you may just see the improvement you're looking for. Stay positive and always remember that your child is counting on you to help them.
© 2014 Victoria Baughman