- Family and Parenting»
Want Your Teen to Make it Through Life?
Maybe You Should Try This
TEENS! Grrrr! They drive you nuts, don't they, parents? Well, I can see why. Yes, I was one of them. I actually managed to break almost everyone of my parents' rules in one night. That would be the night I got a DUI when I was seventeen. I'll even say what everyone expects to hear... I wasn't even drunk. That's when I learned that a breathalyzer doesn't pick up intoxication, it picks up alcohol. I really didn't even get pulled over, I fell asleep behind the wheel from being up from 5:00 am to 2:30 am. The alcohol made me drowsy and one second changed my life.
You don't have to tell me anything about shame. Shame is what made me realize that it is not the consequences that teach a lesson, it is the conscience. I also learned that it's not teaching your kids how to make a living, it's how to live with a moral understanding of right from wrong. That's what saved me from a narrow path of recklessness. I'm not saying consequences don't help teach a lesson, in fact they always help. I'm saying that all kids will have their flaws, but they can be great as long as they have morals and a conscience. Never shame them for who they are or who or what they love. Only shame them for their wrongful actions. I feel great about who I have become and how different I am from a year ago. I hope this method will work on your hard to handle teens as much as it did me. Good luck!
P.S. Don't think you're getting off that easy. There is always a catch. You must have a good realationship with your teen for them to feel this shame. Don't forget this.