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Work Full-Time and Earn $$$: How to be an Effective Single Mom

Updated on June 11, 2013

Being A Single Mom at A Glance

Before deciding to become a single mother, there is one question that a woman has to truthfully answer, "Will I be enough?", "Can I compensate being a mother-father to this family?", "Will this family survive even without a father?"

Every woman's decision should rest on her ability to be true to herself in the midst of a family conflict; to be always honest to herself whether or not she can provide both the emotional and the financial needs of her child. The answers to the questions above matter a lot to the kids more than the mother.

Enough is a very subjective word, and a woman has to learn looking at being a single mom objectively, as it is not just about a woman's struggle to be financially independent, but more importantly, it is a struggle of a child having lost one important figure in the family. Though, it is easy to fill-in the financial side of the situation, it is always a challenge for a working mother to be there for her child, at the same time providing the love that he needs for his wholesome development , to be in any way not affected by the separation of her mother and father. It is therefore necessary for a mother to think about her child's welfare, not her own personal challenge as a wife. Enough may meet a mother's standard, but never on kids.

I'm into my third month of being a single mom. To be honest, I cannot promise to stand by my decision to be a single mother forever. I am still looking at my child's development with just me and ONLY me on her side. I frequently find ways to get into her young mind, keenly checking out how she feels about the situation, without obviously giving her the idea that I am taking her through a final separation from her Dad. More and more, I discovered what's in the mind of a child whose parents aren't living together. Although I still have second thoughts about everything that's going on, but I am proud to say, I had successfully managed to be truly there for my child 24 hours a day. But being there for her is not necessarily a guarantee to fill in the the emptiness vacated by a father That is still one gray area in this situation I am currently at, and if I may decide in the near future, I am too certain that I am going to consider my child's feeling in all of these.

BE FINANCIALLY READY

Money isn't everything, but it is one of the most essential parts of raising a family. The need for food, shelter, clothing etc. remains the same regardless of your status. Being ready for the eventualities of a broken home, does not mean its purely an emotional thing. More than the emotion, the mouth needs to be fed and the body needs to be clothed. It is then important for a mother to find a decent source of income for the whole family. This is one of the parent's biggest role in the society. Imagine a society filled with single mothers who cannot support their own family. It is therefore necessary to think about becoming a single mother in a wholistic point of view, rather than being too selfish and personalized.

Here are a few tips before becoming a single mom.

  • Find a decent job, permanent and generous enough to cover the needs of the family.
  • Make the children aware of what is going to happen. Blind approach does not work anymore to cover the inefficiencies of separated couple.
  • Learn some livelihood projects that can be a good source of income.
  • Think about putting up a small business and work it out together with the whole family. Team effort works best when the children understand the situation.
  • Try some online jobs encoding, designing, etc. depending on your skills. If you think you need to develop these skills, it is best to hone your skills before deciding to be a single mother. Equip yourself, in other words. It certainly a battling world when one decides to assume two responsibilities.
  • Teach your kids the value of saving, and to look for simple means of living. Teach them how to gather newspapers, metal craft, used clothes or bottles inside the household that can add to the family's income. These things are not to hard and harsh for the kids. These will teach them the basic concept of earning, at the same time exposing them to the realities of life without necessarily being affected too much.
  • Befriend your partner if you must or if the situation allows. There is no benefit in staying angry all your life. Even if you were not staying together, there are still moments when the kids need his presence.
  • Do not block your partner's move or desire to function as a father. Remember, the situation is not all about you. As long as it is beneficial for your kids, be practical in allowing him to be a father to his kids, but don't fret if he doesn't. Becoming a single mother should free you from pegging him to become what he is not. Let him be. Just one thing important to remember, "You can be single, but do not keep them away from their father". Except of course when there are security / safety issues involved.


Earn Here, There, and Everywhere

For this entirely liberated HP community, I am opening up my life with hopes that I may inspire someone out there who has the same hurdle as mine.

So here we go:

* 5am to 7am - My day starts with a Homebased job of two hours earning $60, teaching ESL through Skype

* 7am to 8am - Time to prepare her and her food for school later at 8am to 11 am. To be able to supervise her even at school, I transferred to the same building where the Pre-school is located.

* 8am to 10 am - While she is one storey away from me, I devote my time alone to writing for a fashion website where I am earning $200 per month for just 10 articles per week. I am earning more than two hundred when projects increase.

*10am to 12noon - I clean the house and cook for lunch. I make sure she is getting the right nutrition through vegetable dishes and fruits on a daily basis.

* 12noon to 1pm - Lunch time and bonding time with her. I make sure to talk to her about how's her day at school, and walk her through her assignments quickly.

* 1pm to 2 pm - Time to take her to bed for a short nap. We do take a one-hour nap each day to combat stress and random anxiety at work later in a day.

* 2pm to 4pm - Preparation time for work later, pack our dinner and snacks. The next 30 minutes after 4pm is alloted for travel time.

* 4:30pm to 10:30pm -I bring my child to work, taking my laptop with me and a couple of DVD tapes for her to watch, while I have class. We also bring books to study in between class. Yes, I work as an English Coach for another 6 hours, earning another $350-400 Dollars a month.

* 10:30pm - Time to go home and end up the day still pretty much together at 11:30 pm.

So that's a total of $600 to $700 of steady earnings, without leaving her side figuratively, not even for a second. Here in the phillippines, that amount is more than enough. That does not include a staggered income I have from my blogs, o'desk email replier assignments, and transcriptions that I do every weekend. What is good here, we can still plan our weekend getaway without having to sacrifice my earning for the day, since everything is done over the Internet.

If I had successfully managed this kind of life, there is no reason you can't. So check out O'desk assignments now at https://www.odesk.com/login.php and the freelancer site, and start living your life.


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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I was a single parent for fourteen years so I have great respect for single parents everywhere. I love the way you are organized and balanced; it's a tough job but you definitely have your act together. Great hub!

    • go-barbara-go profile image
      Author

      go-barbara-go 4 years ago

      Wow! Fourteen years... I wish to have more successful years being a single mom too, and in those years I hope to find the peace I truly wanted. Thanks Bill. You are an inspiration.

    • seyoni profile image

      seyoni 4 years ago

      Great!!! That's great initiative there. I hope I can try and adapt your principles and even create a schedule for little "gymnastics". Single mothers - respects due

    • go-barbara-go profile image
      Author

      go-barbara-go 4 years ago

      @Seyoni - Thanks for dropping by. Definitely, its not easy to be a single mom, but surely determination pays off. No surrender!!!

    • Romian1 profile image

      Romian1 4 years ago

      I am inspired. Thanks for writing this article.

    • go-barbara-go profile image
      Author

      go-barbara-go 4 years ago

      You're welcome Romian1. It's not easy, but for the love of my daughter, I'll get by....

      Thanks for the nice words.

    • Thelma Alberts profile image

      Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

      I respect every single mom. You´re an inspiration to all single moms out there. You have an organize life. Well done. Thanks for sharing.

    • go-barbara-go profile image
      Author

      go-barbara-go 4 years ago

      @Thelma,

      It's a hard life but I am coping well. The HP community inspire me a lot. Thank you for dropping by.

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