Parents Can Only Advise Their Children Regarding Life Lessons Based Upon What They Know And No More!
Parents Advise Their Children On Career, Job, and Life Skills Based Upon Their Individual Purview
The average parent cannot educate, guide, and help their children with career, job, and life skills beyond their particular knowledge and outlook. They also are unable to do such things beyond their purview of such things. For instance, the average parent with a job, not a career, usually does not have the foresight to advise their child to obtain a career nor instruct him/her to obtain the prerequisite educational skills to do so. It is the parent's goal to have his/her child to have a secure and stable 50 year job status as he/she has.
The average parent desires for his/her child to have a similar success level as he/she has. He/she often instruct his/her child to adopt the same job philosophy as he/she did. If a child elect to veer into a different career and/or life path, the parent becomes threatened as the child's needs, desires, and aspirations are out of the parent's purview of interest.
There are parents who actively discourage their children from pursuing an educational and/or a career goal which is diametrically different from the familial paradigm. They contended strongly that their job and/or career path is a family tradition and their children are to follow this paradigm whether they want to or not. This explains why the majority of people are in jobs and/or careers that they either hate or are marginally content with. Many people do not possess the courage to pursue what they want or to assert their individual needs to their parents because they do not wish to incur parental disapproval.
Some parents actually dictate what their children should major in college although their children's interests are vastly different than that of their parents. Many of these parents make this dictum a condition of their paying their children's college tuition. If their children elect to choose a different major which is more suited to their interests, their parents automatically cut off their children's college tuition. This results in children paying their own tuition if they wish to pursue their own subject interest.
There are other parents who even choose the college/university their children attend. These parents contend that the college/university they attended as youths is good enough for their children. They also purport that it is family tradition that their children attend the same college/university as they had. Some parents choose their children's college/university as a status symbol and how the college/university would look to prospective employers. These are the parents who are usually horrified if their children dare elect to attend a different college/university than what they have selected.
There are some instances which parents push their children into certain careers and jobs because of their status and/or lucrative levels. Many parents instruct their jobs to take certain jobs/career based upon their practicality level. A few parents tell their children to take certain jobs and/or careers because they provide a high security level. It does not matter to such parents if their children do not show proclivities for such jobs. They feel that as parents, they know what is best for their chlidren's future.
Even though many parents purport that they want their children to be individual beings with their own goals and lifestyles, the opposite is usually the case. Many parents subconsciously want their children to be LIKE them in terms of job/career and lifestyle selections. The average parent is often very perturbed if their children choose a different job/career, political, and/or lifestyle choice. The average familial consensus is one of strict conformity to the family groupthink construct..
Of course, there are exception to this groupthink construct. Yes, there are some enlightened parents who expose their children to varied and divergent intellectual, cultural, and career options. They assert to their children that it is of paramount importance to achieve and live their dreams no matter what. They are quite supportive of their children, instructing them never to let naysayers and other obstacles discourage them from being the persons they were meant to be.
These enlightened parents encourage their children to break new ground, trying new avenues which no one has tried before. They instruct their children to try "unusual" careers and lifestyles if it suits them. They never tell their children to follow the herd and to be like other people. They are not soul destroying parents who crush whatever curiosity their children have about life.
Then there are the soul destroying parents who actively and derisively discourage their children from achieving a goal which they deem "stupid" , "unrealistic", "unfathomable", and/or "undesirable". They have a strict herd and security mentality. They steadfastly believe that if no one else has tried this course of action, career, and/or lifestyle choice, it is weird and their children had better not try it. If their children elect to try "the road less traveled" path" in terms of education, job/career, and/or lifestyle choice, their parents consider them "odd", "weird", and/or oftentimes disown them as they believe that their children would negatively reflect on them as parents. Sometimes these parents are severely threatened when their children do elect a diametrically different education, job/career, and/or lifestyle path from what they have chosen.
Laissez-faire parents believe in not advising their children regarding educational, job/career, and/or lifestyle choice. It is these parents' contention that their children will learn from their own experience and by making mistakes. They believe that as parents, they should not interfere with their children's choices whatever they may be.
There are some parents who often neglect to teach their children life skills, often leaving this lesson when they are old enough to understand. Such parents believe that childhood and adolescence should be as carefree and stressfree as possible. They further assert that a child and/or adolescent should be in his/her place, dependent upon them and not to be independent until it is necessary to do so. There are many parents who view independent children as threats to their parental authority. They rather have a dependent and obedient child who they can easily control.
Of course, there are intelligent and enlightened parents who believe in training and preparing their children to be independent and assertive early in life. They contend that their parental role is to make their children self-sufficient as to eventually not needing parental supervision. These parents teach their children to perform chores and self-care mechanisms in order for them to have strong survival skills. They also encourage their children to take after school jobs in order to gain practical life experience and to develop a work ethic. They view dependent children as physical and emotional cripples who are at the mercy of people who will take advantage of them.
In summation, many parents desire that their children to be like them in terms of job/career and lifestyle status. They want their children to have secure jobs and lifestyles. They often view any different job/career and lifestyle option to be insecure and threatening to the familial status quo.
Some parents actually select what career and lifestyle path their children should follow. They believe if their career and lifestyle path is good enough for them, it is definitely good enough for their children. As a result, many children reluctantly follow the dictates of their parents regarding career and lifestyle choice, thus being very unhappy.
There are enlightened parents who actively encourage their children to follow whatever career and lifestyle path which fulfills their innermost creativity, potential, and passion. They assert that there are various options as to what career and lifestyle path to follow. To these parents, there is no one narrow path to achieve a goal whatever it is.
There are parents who actively discourage their children from achieving a career and lifestyle path which the parent deem as strange and different from that of the "majority" of people. They reason that if no one in their immediate circle has that type of job/career and lifestyle, why achieve it. If their children elect to follow a drastically different path, the parents consider them strange, odd, weird, and oftentimes disown them.
Some parents elect not to advise their children regarding the achievement of job/career and lifestyle goals. It is their belief that their children will learn from their mistakes and life experiences. They believe that it is their children's choice and they are not about to interfere.
Pertaining to life skills, there are parents who do not believe in advising and teaching their children about life skills "until they reach the maturity level". These parents believe that their children should have as an unencumbered childhood and adolescence as possible. While other parents believe that the earlier a child learns basic survival and life skills, the better. So in essence, what a parent teaches a child totally depends upon the individual parent's social, intellectual,educational, and cultural purview of life.
© 2011 Grace Marguerite Williams