ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Constructive Ways To Deal with An Alcoholic: Coping With My Father's Alcohol Disease

Updated on April 21, 2013
The different faces of alcohol.
The different faces of alcohol. | Source

I have withstood the different phases of crisis in life. It seems to arrive congruent to my age. As I grow older, it becomes more fitting to my situation and maturity... But I always look back at the past, trying to learn continuously from the experience of living at home with an alocoholic.

During my childhood, the worst crisis I encountered was alcoholism. My father was an alcoholic. He was addicted to alcohol since I could remember. Every single day, nothing fazes him when it is time for his drinking binge.

During my adolescence, the first thing that comes into my mind every time I woke up in the morning is to run and hide. Run and hide from my father. I knew trouble is coming. Before the day is over, chaos is just around the corner.

But in reality, I have to deal with my father's disease. Alcoholism causes erratic behavior. My father had unusually sensitive feelings towards everything. If you stay close or around him, the emotional toll will be high. No one seems to be able to resolve how I felt inside, except myself. It is a battle I have to face emotionally on my own...

I fairly survived my childhood. Coping with my father's alcohol disease was never easy at all. I learned many lessons dealing with the disease, and I would like it to share it with you. Here are constructive ways to cope alcoholism at home.

1) Distance Yourself - Usually, alcoholics are verbally and/or physically abusive. Especially when drunk, social norms and good relationships doesn't exist in their vocabulary.

My advise is, concentrate on doing something productive during the day. Go to school, volunteer yourself to activities that interests you, read in the library, meet up with a mentor, etc. In other words, don't deprive yourself the desire to succeed. An alcoholic's repetitive verbal and/or physical abuse at home should drive you more proving yourself.

2) Meditate- Clear your mind and renew your spirit. When your mind is refreshed, it arms you for your next emotional battle.

Meditation can be done in a quiet place like inside a church, synagogue, outside in a quiet park, on the beach or in a safe room inside your house.

3) Don't show vulnerability - An alcoholic is like a predator waiting for their prey. They will pounce on your weakness as soon as they sense it. Perhaps it is a way for them to bring you down to their own level.

You need to be firm and strong for the alcoholics to see that they can not abuse you. They need to realize that you are big enough for them. I do not refer the physical strength, but the power you have to lead a successful life one day. A person you will become that an alcoholic will look up to.

4) Talk when sober - Openly talk about your feelings when an alcoholic is sober. There is hope that they will understand the pain they are causing you from this disease.

But, be ready when he tells his friends about your personal dialogues. They betray trust and confidence when drunk.

5) Surround yourself with people who cares for you - Surrounding yourself with people who truly cares help affirm your value and importance in this world.

The presence of love and support in your life makes you stronger.

6) Seek help from law enforcement - Protect yourself from harm, always! Call the police or any available law enforcement when you feel that your safety is threatened.

This is usually the hardest choice to make. But calling law enforcement actually protects both the alcoholic and the victim/s from further harm.

7) Talk to a pastor - Pastors are trained to deal with this kind of crisis at home. You need to ask who are qualified to do so.

Did you know that not all pastors are qualified to give advise? They go to school and train for it. They specialize certain fields of counseling.

8) Talk to a family counselor - They are equipped to deal with this situation. These are the therapists, psychologists, psychiatrist and licensed counselors.

This is an expensive form of counseling. Others charge by the hour, per session, etc. Some government agencies provide these services for free. You need to ask.

9) Send an alcoholic to rehab - If you can afford to do so, seek help from a good rehabilitation facility.The facility is like a school with dormitory, with the strictest discipline. They re-learn the facts of life, get the medical attention they need and undergo the counseling sessions. Inside the rehab center, you will know if the they are progressing or not.

Don't make your expectations too high. The disease will not be cured like magic. Drinking alcohol for many, many years have various and lingering effects on the human brain and body.

10) Help others - Reach out to somebody who is having a hard time dealing with alcoholism. Let them know that they are not alone. Going through a similar situation with a friend makes the road less harder to travel.

It is more noble though, if you save one person from becoming an alcoholic and not develop the disease.

Five years after I sent my father to rehab, all of us are all still dealing with the remnants of the disease. Fixing broken relationships is a very rugged path. The many years of hurt couldn't possibly be healed in an instant.

Improving his health is also another concern. Abusing your body with alcohol takes toll on your health. My father is one of the lucky persons on earth. Despite more than thirty years of alcohol abuse, he didn't acquire a severe disease.

Lastly, opening better lines of communication needs to be reestablished among family members. The healing process needs comforting words. Sincere words such as "I am sorry".

I can't change my father. Change should come from within oneself. This is one of the hardest challenges my family members have to face. But the important thing is that I did my part. As a daughter, I tried my best to help him get out from his alcohol addiction. I seek medical help for him. We had family meetings to help him overcome the addiction. He is my father and no one can take his place in this world... What hurts him, hurts the family too.

Copyright © 2012 The Girls. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without permission prohibited.

Do you know someone who is dealing with the alcoholism disease at home?

See results

Alcohol and Your Brain


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      7 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thank you for reading me Faceless39! I appreciate your support. Blessings to you always :-)

    • Faceless39 profile image

      Kate P 

      7 years ago from The North Woods, USA

      Great tips to keep in mind for anyone who has a friend or family member who is an alcoholic.

      Voted up, useful, and interesting.

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      I truly appreciate your comment teaches12345. As the saying goes, I can't choose who my parents will be... I am happy to know that I can help others through this experience.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      8 years ago

      Thanks for sharing from your experience how to deal with an alcoholic. I am sorry that you had this experience, but how wonderful to see that you are able to help others through this difficulty. God bless you. I enjoyed this read and have voted it way up!

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      I appreciate your encouraging comment hawaiianodysseus. Thank you very much for reaching out to others. Blessings :-)

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 

      8 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Very well written, and definitely from the heart! I can relate to you on several levels. Thanks for sharing this, and I especially love how you take a serious social ill and provide others--especially youngsters in your audience--positive and constructive strategies for dealing with a family member's alcohol abuse.

      Voted up and more, and socially shared!

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thanks for reading abbykorinnelee. I happy to know you made a better choice for yourself. We both know it is hard to be in this situation and needless to mention how harder it is to be in it longer. I appreciate your sharing.

    • the girls profile imageAUTHOR

      Theresa Ventu 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles, California

      Thank you Funom Makama 3, I appreciate it.

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow-Rourk 

      8 years ago from Wisconsin

      I had an alcoholic boyfriend once, he was a wonderful man and was so intelligent and had great ambitions sober, but abusive and emotionally and mentally damaging drunk. It kept getting worse and I feel for you having to grow up with it but its definitely something I am glad you shared.

    • Funom Makama 3 profile image

      Funom Theophilus Makama 

      8 years ago from Europe

      wow. Beautiful. Thanks for the share and definitely voted up


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)