- Family and Parenting
How to Get Your New Wife to Help Discipline Your Children
With every relationship there are complexities that need to be worked out but when someone decides to date, be with or marry another person with children you aren't just connecting yourself to your them but also any children involved. Whether you are male or female this is a great consideration before getting serious with a father or mother of children. You must fill the role of being the child's father or mother and that includes a role in disciplining the children as well. If you are the adult with children and you have had difficulty in getting you significant other to be a partner in this aspect perhaps this article will help.
First keep in mind that for any relationship as much as your partner may want to be a fully functioning member and parent in the family there will be barriers that need to be dealt with. Someone coming into a family situation from a single situation will have to adjust to a lot all at once. If the children are old enough to talk they may have bad feelings toward this newcomer and act out on purpose. They may feel threatened by their presence seeing the newcomer as replacing their original mother and father. It is up to you as the parent they trust to be clear with them that the newcomer is trustworthy and has your complete confidence to look after them as you do. As the initial period of your children getting to know the newcomer they will need to begin taking on a role of disciplining the children.
You need to have very good communication with your new wife or husband as to what you normally let your children do and not do. This is to prevent the children from taking advantage of your new wife or husband when you are not around. The stronger the communication the more your significant other will be able to keep the children in line and the more they will be respected for it by the children. They will not consider them to be an 'easy mark' and your family will be on solid footing.
Overtime you will not be communicating what you feel is acceptable but include them as an equal in discussing what you both feel is acceptable. If you truly want to have this person be your wife or husband and to be a mother or father to your children it is important to treat it as a two vote system. You can't include them and treat them equally but when it suits you override their authority when they do punish the children. You must support all punishments they give your children. If there ends up being something you feel is too harsh or lenient then again you both should discuss it privately for future instances. Never discuss punishments in front of or with your children. You are the parent and it is your responsibility not that or your children. Punishment is non-negotiable they are not part of this discussion. If you follow these words of advice you will have a strong family for years to come.