How to Raise a Child With or Pretending ADD
Medicate or Meditate?
Do not look surprised here. If you are a parent you can kind of tell. Then you still go to the doctor and the doctor prescribes things that basically slow the child’s mind down so they can concentrate and perform better. I just barely typed it in and got:
Adderall XR (amphetamine)
Focalin XR (methylphenidate)
Quillivant XR (methylphenidate)
Strattera (atomoxetine hydrochloride)
We will not go into specifics here about Horse Racing and Athletes from High School and up. But “doping” to enhance performance is dead wrong in just about everybody’s book or moral compass. Even if you are not a great sports fan you probably know about Russia’s big trouble here and an old controversy about Bobby Bonds (Baseball) and Lance Armstrong. This is a good place if you are more interested in this subject. Very fascinating really.
So the first point is that doping to enhance performance is just wrong in sports. But in schooling it is fully approved. And it is approved for very young children.
(just a thought – are inoculations and vaccines in the same group? That is kind of crazy but food for thought)
A poor family without insurance. Their child has a real and serious case of ADD. Quite literally is she doomed to a life of crime? Will she just get suspended and miss critical learning? But yet we see a proper medication for a problem that could almost be diagnosed in any child. I was an ADD case for sure. Probably that turned in to a “mania” later. I survived but just by the skin of my teeth and great mentors.
I do not say this to elevate myself in any way but it was not until after my doctorate degree that some shrink started using an intelligence quotient on me. Just like most manic and ADD involved folks it was quite high. But we do not know of that in adults who took ADD meds.
Boy let me tell you I am glad they did not give me the above medications. We still do not know the long term effects. There is almost no way to gauge it. How do you establish a baseline and then follow it for thirty years or into dementia and Alzheimer’s? Even if we started tracking 50 years ago we would not know.
Stand By Your Child
Of course we needed to go through that above in order to really establish our own baseline for discussion but there is more “ground work” to do in order to establish a foundation for ultimate discussion of the faker ADD child.
I often wonder about laziness. If your mind is racing it takes hard work to make it stop or to channel it productively. We reckon that takes us right back to doping and athletic performance.
They say that you never forget how to ride a bike once you learn and practice. How fantastically true that is. In my mind that is because the intensity of fright and drive (pun intended ;-) and work to get it done. But what they do not tell you is that if you are a normal 60+ year person is that you still know how but your balance stinks and your legs are weak. So though you know how to do it you just can’t.
I know how to read but sometimes I have so many other things on my mind I just cannot concentrate on it. I have to call Bob, I have to change the oil in my car. I have to get to the gym and go on that jog!! Dinner? And yikes some work stuff.
I like to say focus pocus. Have you ever had a touch of insomnia or more and concentrated on sleeping? How did that work for you?
So we have to touch on what we call “the big let go”. Go with the flow. If you spend your time trying to control others you will “suffer” from OCD and ADHD. It is a natural fact. If you do not believe me go to a church where the preacher person sermonizes for 40 minutes. They want to control your thoughts not make you think. Go to one where the sermon is around twenty minutes and the preacher does not suffer from ADHD or OCD. A Justice once told me “Eric if you can’t do it in twenty you lost the jury”. My preaching mentor told me “Eric if you need a pulpit and an hour do something else”. You see and ADHD and an OCD need to convince themselves they have it right and that takes way too many words.
Isn’t that interesting. I feel the same way about notes for any kind of speeches. If you need them, you have an issue.
How long was the Sermon on the Mount, and how long was the Gettysburg address? Jesus did not read But Abe really did not either.
They Grow Up
Love Takes Time
Now here is the juicy part of the faker. “I don’t want to”. Perfectly said. My son can play an IPad or Tablet game for thirty minutes without failure and can win interactive games in that time. One time I let him go as long as he could as a devious parent experiment. He knew I was watching and paying attention. Almost 2 hours. The “chat” ensued. There was no way he could concentrate on a game that long and not concentrate on reading, writing and arithmetic that long. “Game” over. (again pun intended ;-)
Again, who is faking what? I cannot sit down and stay on my computer for over 30 minutes. I have to go plot and clear my head. And I am not young so getting up and moving around is critical for health. A strategy that normally works. I must have ADHD? Not likely.
I day dream to a major degree. I am mentally lazy at times. It is easier just to let it go in and out like waves. I do realize that for most that is really hard to do but years of putting it out there that way and it is easy do drift away. (Again, nuance with waves)
So here is the quiz. We will take an 8 year old boy.
- How was school today? – Boring.
- What was your favorite subject today besides recess? - Nothing.
- What did you learn today? - Nothing.
- Well what did you study today? – I don’t remember.
- What friend did you hang out with today? – I don’t know.
- What did you have for lunch? – I don’t remember.
Now feel free to ask 5-10 more and if you keep getting the same sort of answers your boy does not have ADD. I am sure you see the point. No child can concentrate so hard on not giving answers if he is really “suffering” from inability to maintain a line of thought. He is paying attention also. It is clear.
Second part of the quiz is (as above referenced) give him the TV or any fun game device and see if he can watch for an hour straight. Pay attention and ask him what the show or game was about and if he does the same as the first part of the test he is faking it.
Well I hope you do not think we are going to end by saying he does not go to the doctor. Take him immediately and go through the above with the good doctor. If he still prescribes medicine instead of therapy or a good mentor. Fire him and get another pediatrician. Good pediatricians will give referrals to such.
It is that simple yet it takes time. Spend it.