- Family and Parenting
How to Help Your Newborn Infant to Sleep All Night!!!!!
A healthy newborn has basic needs.
What is Really Important?
After raising 3 children One daughter and boy girl twins and almost 21 foster children I have come to observe how nervous some children appear to be about life in general.
I started watching habits of happy children. It seems as if there is a direct correlation between a fussy baby and a relaxed and happy mom. The moms that don't stress over petty details and pay more attention to their children as well as their own happiness seem to have calmer happier babies.
Take for instance a mother that is so caught up on keeping their child on a perfect schedule so much so that they wake their new born infants at night to feed them even after they have reached 8 lbs. My husband once made an observation that our children and foster children seemed to sleep between feedings in direct correlation to their weight. For instant a 5 pound baby is capable of sleeping 5 hours a stretch at NIGHT, not day, 7 pound baby , 7 hours and so on.
I have to agree with him I saw it too. Some mothers are so caught up on the details that they fail to enjoy the small things in their children's life. Does it really matter if an infant gets a bath every day or eats a completely balanced diet every single day? What they miss one day they will probably make up for the next.
My sister got so caught up in having her children sleep in their own bed for every nap and evening with a fan running that she became bound to the house. Her child could never nap or sleep away from home. This kept the entire family from ever being able to visit or enjoy a holiday away from home.
Infants will Cry
Crying Releases Tension and Exercises Lungs
Don't be afraid for an infant to cry. Crying actually gives them a chance to exercise their lungs and release tension from an overly active day. Remember how good a cry feels when you don't feel like you are too tired to do another thing. Infants are the same way. Just check on them every 10 minutes or so if they are not already asleep.
Your baby does not need a bath every day. She will survive with a missed day and even rinsing a bottle with very hot water to refill and give her more is ok. You will sterilize the next time. Children need germs in their environment to help build up their natural immunity.
What Children Need
Children have very basic needs. They need food, warmth, touch, love and basic care, Almost anyone can give your child some of these things but only you can give them the love they really need to thrive. Touch is a basic need of humans and without it, it has been found that children will often develop failure to thrive no matter how good their diet and environment.
This shows why a mother or dad needs to be able to let the world go by and devote total attention to a crying infant. It often only takes just a few moments of touch and gentle voice to comfort a child. A newborn has an innate ability to recognize his mother or fathers voice and mom's heartbeat that he heard constantly in the womb. So remember by just interrupting your busy schedule for a few moments a day can prevent years of insecurity later.
New parents are mesmorized by their new infant.
Do new parents let their newborns cry?
Did you let your Infant ever cry.
My youngest daughter recently adopted a newborn. Now I have seen many new moms in my profession but this young mom seemed to have a certain since of calm about her that was clearly felt by her newborn adopted child. She met her needs but was not afraid to divert from schedule if needed. She got plenty of food in her little one throughout the day waking this little 7 lb infant at least every 3 hours. When 11 pm came she knew she and her husband needed rest as well as her new child. She did not wake her at night but fed her on demand. Within a matter of one or two weeks she was sleeping for 6 to 8 hour stretches at night but my daughter never let her go that long during daylight hours. By the date of her 2 week check up she had put on so much weight the doctors were amazed at her weight gain and told her to skip the next well check. She followed her motherly instinct rather that a book. Today we have a very happy 10 month old granddaughter that is the joy of our live. People ask her if she is ever in a bad mood.!!!!
Infants are not as Breakable as they may Seem!!!
How to be a Calm Parent
Things to remember when parenting especially newborns is that they won't break. God made them pretty resilient. A calm baby makes for a calm mom. Just like the the infant needs sleep so does mom. Try to nap when baby naps.
Don't forget to seek out help. Do you have a group of friends that can set up a schedule of bringing you meals in those early days? If not ask a close friends to set up a calender and enlist the help of some of your closest friends and family.
Get time away from the baby. Dad needs one on one time and grandparents love it. Never turn down a chance to get a break. Even if you just go upstairs and take a quiet bath.
Aunt Sally may have a lot of wisdom but be cautious of too much information overload. Well meaning adult can come across judgmental and have your head spinning in self doubt very quickly.
Don't try to entertain too soon. Learn to say no more often. There will be time later for committee's bible studies,etc. It takes the average new mom at least 3 months to fully recover from her pregnancy and delivery maybe more if she had a c-section, considered major surgery. The key word here is RELAX.
Your Baby's Bath, It's ok to Skip a Day!!!
Baby need Mom
Mom needs rest
Baby needs rest
Don't compare or listen to all the information overload coming at you.
Learn to say no to joining new activities too soon.
Accept any help offered.
It's ok not to follow the book word for work. You can miss a bath!
Give Dad some one on one time
This is A Great Start
I would like to talk later about the toddler and preschool years and the hurried child but this is a good beginning.
Join any self help clubs that you feel might support your style of mothering . If you have a close friend feel free to have her come over and help and see you at your worst. Remember no more comparing.