ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Take Care of Aging Parents

Updated on June 12, 2014

A Valuable Person

This is one incredibly special gal.  She deserves all the support we can give her.
This is one incredibly special gal. She deserves all the support we can give her. | Source

Does My Parent NEED Help?

When the people in your life who nurtured you with strength and compassion start to reverse roles with you, an adult child, it can be difficult knowing how or when to maneuver caring for them without eroding their dignity. Following are some suggestions on how to accomplish this.

Family Dynamics with Aging Parents

The number of family structures is probably infinite. There are families with only children, with many children, with those who live geographically close to aging parents, and those who are emotionally close to parents. Hopefully, one or more children of an aging person can take on the responsibility to monitor and care for him or her.

Is the Parent’s Living Situation Safe?

A physical inspection must be done. Holiday visits or any other visit is an opportune time to surreptitiously check:

Smells:

Do you detect spoiled food? Bathroom unclean? Clothing unclean? Smoke or burning from appliances? Remember the aged adult can have a decrease in sense of smell and therefore be unaware of these cues to problems.

Sounds:

Do you hear the cranking or rumbling of defective appliances? Of the neighborhood changing for the worse – sounds of violence or domestic disputes? Gang activity?

Sights:

Are there loose, slippery area rugs? Unevenness in sidewalk (even a small difference of an inch can literally trip a less-than-surefooted elder. ) Visible mold or science experiments on food or all over microwave, refrigerator or other food storage area? Spill stains on the floor? Dirty or broken eyeglasses (let’s not have visibility impaired and certainly not by the self-repair job to eyeglasses frames resulting in glue smears on the lenses! There is a time for penny-pinching and a time to pay a professional to do the job correctly.) You want no wobbly chair or table legs. No frayed electric cords or cords crossing a walkway. Can you see water damage on ceilings, walls, floor? You should see a bath mat or bumpy bottom in the shower/bathtub? Also, if possible check medication bottles for their expiration dates. Yes, that is a little more intrusive/invasive, but it is important.

Tactile Information:

As you walk around living space – are there wobbly floorboards, again uneven sidewalk or other walkways? Are hand rails on stairs or in the bathroom as solid as a rock? Are drafts coming into the home?

MAKE SURE the batteries are alive in a smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector. Also, these should be placed where the parent can reach them without the need to climb onto a ladder or step stool. We do not want the older person climbing on ladders – no falls and no broken bones!

Fixing the Living Space

If something in the living space does not measure up, are you in a financial or skill set position to fix it? Can you offer to do so as a holiday gift?

If tasks need to be done on a more frequent and regular basis, such as grocery shopping or cleaning, are you or a sibling near enough to do this? Can you take turns? Alternately, can you hire a reliable, trustworthy helper?

Is the Parent Eating Adequately and Taking Medications Correctly?

This is a tougher issue to assess. Weight loss or gain becomes apparent eventually, but it would be nice to nip any problems before they grow. You can ask your parent if you may accompany him/her to a doctor’s appointment. There, you can listen to any health issues, physician’s observations, and medication schedule. However, please do not take over the appointment. If your parent is mentally competent, the primary interactions should be between your parent, who is the patient, and the doctor. You are an observer unless invited to talk.

If diet needs to be changed, perhaps you can arrange for grocery delivery or changes in food choices. If it is too tiring for your parent to prepare meals, explore microwaveable meals and the Meals-on-Wheels program. If finances are the reason your parent is not eating well or purchasing medications, contact your state or county’s agency on aging. The staff should be able to assist you.

More Health Concerns – Physical and Mental

Should your parent be driving a car? Or taking public transportation alone? Are the medications your parent takes causing other problems – growing side effects which are interfering with quality of life? These can cause physical and emotional side effects. Does your parent seem depressed? Demented? Losing touch with reality?

If your parent’s situation is causing alarm about these issues, more serious intervention may be required. Please meet with your siblings to, hopefully, agree on the least restrictive plan possible.

Good Luck

The good news is that with the aging of America, more information becomes available daily to help the children of aging parents.

Text and photo copyright 2012 Maren E. Morgan.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Maren Morgan M-T profile imageAUTHOR

      Maren Elizabeth Morgan 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Yes, and then we start to realize we should do the checklist for our own homes, too.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      6 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thanks for sharing the very useful tips, Maren. I've had the experience of helping to look after my elderly father, and I know that the steps that you recommend are very important.

    • Maren Morgan M-T profile imageAUTHOR

      Maren Elizabeth Morgan 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Dirt Farmer, I am so sorry to hear about the contractor. I hope things are resolved and good now.

      win-winresources, glad it was helpful.

    • profile image

      win-winresources 

      6 years ago from Colorado

      Maren-

      Nice, helpful, and timely.

      Thanks.

      -DW

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 

      6 years ago from United States

      Absolutely! I recently helped my mom move into a house with only one floor. (Her previous home had too many steps and two shaky railings.) It was really tough to find a single-story house! And the one she liked needed major work done. Unfortunately, even after we fired him and got some money back, she was taken advantage of by an unscrupulous contract who did --or rather didn't do-- the renovations. It was a mess & half.

    • Maren Morgan M-T profile imageAUTHOR

      Maren Elizabeth Morgan 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks, Dirt Farmer! I do it with my parents periodically. They tolerate me doing it! But, they did consent to the 4 kids' paying for improvements to the stair rail. That is worth it.

    • The Dirt Farmer profile image

      Jill Spencer 

      6 years ago from United States

      Good hub, Maren. Your checklist for assessing the home of an aging parent is really helpful.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)