How to Survive the Lockdown Living With Your Parents
Surviving the lockdown living with parents
The world is currently plagued with a curse in the form of a virus. The current coronavirus pandemic has seen a lot of adjustments happen to normal life activities. People now have to stay indoors, schools have been closed, churches and mosque doors remain shut, partying and clubbing have become prohibited and now we embrace the new culture of social distancing as the world tries to focus on flattening the curve.
The spread of the virus witnessed a geometric increase and is now fully in all continents of the world except Antarctica and consequently, a lot of young people have had to leave their schools or colleges to return home to their parents. Now faced with the reality that they might have to stay home for a longer time than they 'd planned to, but that's not the only issue, they realise they would have to stay home on lockdown with their parents.
For most young people and teenagers, the ideal lockdown would have been one with no parents but with access to Wi-Fi, fast internet, Netflix, snap chat, twitter,to name a few. Not many teenagers and young adults who still live with their parents are adapting well to staying home. It's general knowledge that these years see parents and their children have more clash of opinions and so sometimes they usually prefer to stay away in school. Teenagers love freedom and the utmost regard for their personal space and privacy. Unfortunately, it's hard to be in control of this things locked home with parents as naturally, they would become inquisitive about the actions and private life of their children and want to ask many questions. Even the most super tolerant parents in this times all have their eyes fixed on their children and want to know everything.
Usually, there are four kinds of parents and they are listed below.
1. The overbearing ones: The average teenager finds this kind of parent very difficult to live with. They are all and about in your business, know everything you do, or are doing in a much too irritating manner. It's really hard for most teens with this kind of teenagers to catch their breath around this kind of parents and it's also very hard to impress them.
2. The over caring and protective ones: These parents never really accept that their child is grown and autonomous and can make decisions and function without needing their assistance or input always. They care and worry about every single thing that concerns their children, even negligible things. They never want their children out of sight and love to always be close to them while this is a good thing, in excess, it can be very annoying and usually, they raise spoiled kids.
3. The nonchalant and never available ones: This kind of parent is hardly bothered about their child or what they do. Some simply provide all the basic things they would require and abandon them to make their own decisions. There's no rapport or connection between them and their kids. The worse kind of these parents are those ones who have absconded or play no role or part in the development of their child. This kind of parenting is very common amongst divorced couples, career-oriented parents, and single parents.
4. The perfect ones: This type of parents and their teenager or young adults get along very easily. They have respect for privacy and never try to intrude in their child's life unnecessarily. An unequal blend of all the above-listed kinds of parents makes the perfect parent. They never care too less or too little, they allow for interactions to occur with their kids, they are available for them as is deemed necessary, they implement sanctions and punishments as necessary, there's a balance of everything. There is mutual respect and understanding between these parents and their kids. Usually, teenagers warm up to the perfect kind of parent than any of the above listed. The way the perfect parent functions is what most teenagers want.
But since we can't all have perfect parents and we are locked in with whatever kind we have, it's pertinent that we learn how to coexist peacefully and also adapt fast. Here's a list of ways to help you survive these times if you are on lock down with parents.
1. Create time in your schedule to just be around them
This is necessary because as parents age they naturally crave to see and be around more people, especially their loved ones. Both the overbearing and overprotective parents have one thing in common, they want your time. Usually, teenagers want all their time for themselves, especially if staying around their parents leaves them feeling edgy and irritated but here's a secret. Now you are home for maybe a few more weeks before schools are certified safe and opened, simply have a time planned out every day, and randomly engage them in conversations. For the overbearing parent, they may keep asking you questions that tire you but try your best to answer calmly until that time period is used up. An overbearing parent is overbearing because they always want to know everything going in your life, well doing that would sort of allay their fears and worries and they would ease up a bit on you. That's a plus because the house becomes much more habitable for you.
The overprotective parent also wants to know that their child is alright and perfect and there's nothing wrong going on even though they go about trying to find out in a rather annoying manner, it still shows love and care and so making time to talk your parents about yourself and what you've been up to works.
2. Finish all your chores
Sometimes it's easy to get carried away with contents on social media and the internet and forget to do chores. No parent likes this and most times the internet is responsible for a good deal of the clashes parents have with their teenagers. Teenagers naturally want to be on their mobile devices and gadgets more times than they are engaging in other activities. Every kind of parent would react negatively to this howbeit, differently. And it actually hurts to receive a rebuff about unfinished or undone house chores especially since its avoidable. A better way to make staying with them easier is to do the chores assigned to you in time, also occasionally seek to assist them with things around the house.
3. Do not disclose everything to your parents
I know I said to make time to have conversations but you honestly do not want to tell your parent about everything that goes on in your life. They are naturally programmed to worry over certain things that we teenagers enjoy and if what you are doing is not illegal or injurious to you in any way but telling your parent would probably bring up an argument, then please don't. Sometimes we never totally agree with our parents on the same things and they span over interests, beliefs, religions, hobbies, etc. Say, for instance, your family has a tradition of not eating a particular food and you discovered you liked it while away from home, bringing up that topic in a conversation with say, an overbearing kind of parent would definitely lead to an argument or even escalate things and you do not want that because the issue above is a case of difference in tastes and interests. But you should inform your parent if anything worries or bothers you and you think they can help out. Parents are not robots, they can't see or notice everything, sometimes you'd have to speak up about your challenges.
4. Spend quality time on you
If you find yourself on lockdown with parents who don't really care or who are always away while you were growing up that now you seem so distant, like two strangers cohabiting, I understand that can be disheartening especially if you have things you are willing to say. Everyone wants to feel loved and if you find out that home is not offering you love and comfort this period, it's human to feel bad or out of place but do not let it rip you of all the opportunities and happiness this period carries or that you can create for yourself. Spend time doing things you enjoy, busy yourself with things that you like and that takes up time so you really never have to worry about being home. Optionally, you can try striking conversations with your parents to try to break the ice. Utilize this period to see if it's possible that you connect with them. They probably want to make a move but don't know how to go about it for fear that you might give a cold reception. It doesn't exactly write off all the years missed, but it's a good start in the direction of covering it up.
Finally, Parents naturally want to raise perfect spotless children and spend a good deal of time molding and trying to conform their kids for an ideal society and that's beautiful. It is also totally in line for parents to worry, ask questions, bug or even press issues but teenagers and adults would never think alike on a lot of issues and it is only logical that since current realities seek that we coexist, we find ways that would allow for peaceful coexisting because when all these ends and we finally regain freedom, it would be unfortunate to return to normal life having new hurts and bitterness created in our hearts.
© 2020 Suzanna Daniel