ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Show Affection to Your Children

Updated on March 23, 2007

Maya Angelou says that the best thing for your child is that your eyes light up when she walks in the room. I agree. Taking a moment to acknowledge your precious gift will go far in letting her know you love her. Hug and kiss your babies, never worrying that you'll spoil them. But physical attention is not the only way to show affection to your child.

I am so greedy now for the time my daughter spends on my lap because I know it'll be over soon. She no longer fits and loses patience quickly. As our children grow older, they forsake us for video games and friends. They may not want our snuggles, but a big smile and a shoulder squeeze can do for your older child what lap time did for your toddler.

Whether because they are growing older or because the child is less physical, you may need to find other ways to show your love. The best way depends on both of your personalities. Some people are physical, others like to talk or hear praise, and some like tangible proof of love.

Talk To Me

Tell your child in words all the things you feel in your heart. That you are proud of her, that she is beautiful, that you love her very much. Praise and recognize your child for the small things, not only the good report card or the reading award. Let her know that you appreciate the little things she does like brushing her teeth without being told. We can never say these words enough and you never know when something you say may hit a nerve in your child's inner life that makes an impression she'll carry with her throughout her life.

Kids who love to talk will tell you about their day, their friends, what they ate for lunch and the problems they're having in class or on the playground. These kids will also enjoy hearing about your day and love stories about how things were for you when you were a kid. Share with them how you approached and solved your problems.

If you have laid a good foundation, even in adolescence your child will open up given the right opportunity. Make a date for coffee or walk the dog together. If you travel a lot, make time for the phone and for emails with this kind of kid. If your child likes to talk, never assume he knows you love him. Tell him.

Proof of Love

Some kids need tangible evidence of your love. Small gestures mean a lot and a child may save a ball cap from a faraway stadium for years. It doesn't matter if it's from the airport. They don't know that. Bring home a little treat from work once in while, or a pen from the bank. Although older kids may ask for high dollar fashion or electronics, you don't have to buy your child's love. It's okay to say no. Just find something else he can hold in his hand to remind him that you love him.

Spend Time Together

Do things together. Work on projects together or play games. A kid who held onto your leg in the kitchen when he was two just wants to be with you and it doesn't matter what you do. He might do things for you to show his love - especially when he knows he's been bad. Do special things for him in return. If you have more than one child, make sure you find some time with each child alone.

Maybe you recognize some of your child's traits in the descriptions above. There is no magic formula, no right or wrong answers. Try something for a week or two and watch the results. Your child will love it all.

I am an ordinary Mother. And a Writer. I spend a lot of time 'down on the driveway' with other mothers trying to figure out this motherhood thing. I hope these articles can be a virtual driveway for all of us!

Read more at www.leladavidson.com

Comments

Submit a Comment

  • profile image

    Parent  

    8 years ago

    this message is for loner , your not a loner and you have to understand that you mom does not see the world as you do. I'm sure she loves you, I have a teenage daughter and we have disagreements form time to time on issues.

    commication is the key.

    your pal

    concern Parent

  • profile image

    loner 

    8 years ago

    i wish my mom would do that for me....

    i know that she loves me, and she wants the best for me

    but it has come to a point where i feel like i was adopted

    for some reason or another

    she wouldn't say any of those to me

    she say the exact opposite and does it too

    if i walk into the room and i im happy

    i turn completely sad cuz i see her turn her face expression as if she doesn't want to see me

    she says im a failure

    im dumb and all the things you wouldn't thought a mother would say

    but i held on up to this day thankfully cuz

    i want a life of my own mein

    im surprised im not suicidal at this point...:(

  • profile image

    Nin 

    9 years ago

    I read all of this love and it reminds me that my father left before I was born to a mother that was very bitter at her marriage to her first love and left at 19yrs . old for another woman. An awful marriage. I never felt any love from my mother. Never heard an I love you unless i initiated it then it was, "me too" Never got any kisses. No hugs therefore there was no self esteen built. I am 50 yrs. old now and I am still waiting for my mother to show me some type of love but I have come to understand that she has no maternal instincts. which kind of makes it not her fault. She does not feel it. I inturn am very loving and physical. But the one love I still crave is my mother's love.

  • profile image

    Tosin 

    9 years ago

    Hi Lela,

    Thanks for all these wonderful and enlightening posts.

  • bluerabbit profile image

    bluerabbit 

    10 years ago

    This is so sweet, and so true.

  • Dottie1 profile image

    Dottie1 

    10 years ago from MA, USA

    Nice hub Lela. Even when their 18, your young adults still need this kind of affection. My daughter really appreciated me being there for her today as she was getting ready for her senior semi formal. I knew she was feeling anxious and brought her home her favorite chinese pork fried rice and man did she appreciate that. I think we all need affection for survival. Thank you.

  • MoralsEthics1960 profile image

    MoralsEthics1960 

    10 years ago from Florida

    Great advice

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)